An Officer's Day

There are two of my pretty bags. I don't like ebay. I don't trust them. Sara offered to list them for me on her account but I figured I'd give you guys first shot. Here's my two favorites. The pictures are kinda dark but I think you can see well enough when you view larger. They're about the size of a standard purse. I use the first one I made as a makeup bag (and I have a LOT of makeup), and I end up throwing bottles of contact wash and toothpaste and all sorts of stuff in. They hold a lot.

So here's the plan, Stan. $25. These are just two bags. I can do custom, and I can make more of the police or roses or whatever the hell you want assuming I can find it. The police I know I can get more of. I can do velcro, I can do buttons, I can make more pockets, shorter straps, whatever. Now, I will take my cost and the rest goes to charity but there's two ways of doing this. I can donate to a charity of your choice, or I can keep that cash until I get to $100 worth of donations and put them all into one charity. The Breast Cancer Foundation keeps popping into my head. You ask, I shall do.

Sara's mom is having some major health problems and she lost her job. She wants to really start a business she can do from home, sitting down. Like sewing. I would like to help her as much as possible. This is a wonderful lady who deserves more than life has allowed her. She has no health insurance, no state aid, nothing.

I have a great job and so does my husband. We aren't hurting, but it pains me to see someone who was like a mother to me, even in my crazy teenage years when my own mom was about to give up on me, suffer this way. If there is the demand, I would like to give some of your requests to her to make herself. Master sewer that she is. The money wouldn't go to a traditional charity, but you would be putting food in a sick lady's mouth when she so desperately needs it.

If you want these, let me know. We'll work out a Paypal payment or something. Just shoot me an email. First come first serve. I have these two, but I have enough material to make 2 more of the police bags and I can get more of the rose stuff. They have firefighter stuff. I think I have some laying around somewhere. There's teacher stuff, animals, flowers, whales, sharks, whatever you want if you want custom. Just ask. I'm sure I can find it.

Thank you guys, for being supportive in my little journey to sanity. I really like doing this.

anonymousbadge at 6:17:23 PM EDT Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 17 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

Peace of mind! Finally!

I went to Sara's and her mom showed me how to make those little tote bags on my own. I dusted off my Grandma's old sewing machine and I have to tell you, I can't remember the last time I had this much fun doing something so... umm... domestic!

Now I have a pile of fabric, a few finished totes and loose string all over my house. Fabric is not as cheap as I thought it was (for the good stuff anyway) so I figure I'll throw a couple of them on e-bay, take my cost from whatever they sell for and give the rest to the charity of the buyer's choice.

It gives me something to do as the kids have pretty much figured out that they don't need mom to entertain them 24 hours a day. They like to play on their own a lot (with supervision near by of course) and generally only call me when they want something. Hmph! I thought I had at least until 10 or 11 before they didn't want to play with me anymore.

I can sit and sew, and my mind doesn't wander to work or how screwed up the rest of the world is. I'm perfectly content listening to my children laughing in the next room, my husband with his feet kicked up in front of the t.v. and the whirring sound of my sewing machine needle.

So THIS is what happiness feels like! I forgot! Woo hoo! Let's hope it lasts.

I made a bag with uniformed officers, canines, badges, cuffs and cars all over it. I figure one of you is bound to like it. I also made one that's grey with red roses, and one that's got flowers on the outside and stripes on the inside. I thought about keeping that one but it'll be a cold day in Hell before I start carrying a purse. I just finally ditched the diaper bag!

They'll be up for sale sometime this week. Maybe tonight if I can find batteries for the camera.

I also got another tattoo. My foot's sore as Hell and I dread putting my boots on tomorrow. I still can't talk Brody into another but that's just because he's a chicken shit.

Oh, and if you guys want any custom bags, let me know. Sara's mom lost her job and she's looking for a way to pay her bills. If you have anything in particular in mind, let me know and I'll pass it on to her. I think her price for the small bags (which you'll see when I post mine on e-bay) is like $20.

Anyway, I'm back to ass-kicking tomorrow. Yesterday was okay. It was surprisingly quiet for a holiday weekend, though we did have a LOT of hit and runs. One was a pretty young kid. That always makes me sad, but I made it my personal mission to hunt the sorry sack of shit down. It didn't take me long. You ask the right questions fast enough, people will blurt out all kinds of interesting information before they have time to realize they're incriminating their friends. I found him hiding at his girlfriend's house. I'm sure the broken wrist will be the least of his worries in big boy jail (that was from the accident, not me. Just so you know. I'm an asshole, but I'm not a bully.) His biggest worry will be Maxamillion. That would be the 6'8, 325 lb inmate at county that just so happens to like little guys with long hair. ;)

Happy Labor Day all.

 

anonymousbadge at 8:07:21 PM EDT Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 7 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

Here I am. On a Monday afternoon, wondering what the hell is going on outside the walls of my house and praying that tomorrow will be at the least tolerable.

Work is... work. We lost a brother not too long ago, and I went to help set up a perimeter just to give me something to do. When things like that happen, you may not know what to do but SOMETHING is better than standing around twiddling your thumbs. What amazed me the following day is how flawed the information the press releases really can be. Trust me, what the news tells you happened isn't always the truth, close to the truth, or even in the same ballpark as truth. Keep that in mind.

I'm still in my funk but I've decided that this is my job, this is what I've been doing for years, it's what I wanted to do for years before I got it, and I'm not giving it up anytime soon. I'm good at it.

So I'm looking into alternative methods of finding sanity. I think if I can do some things in my off time that will be good for others then I might just be okay with everything. That, or I just need to take a really long vacation.

I was thinking, my best friend's mom makes really cute tote bags and stuff. She made me one with little police cars all over it. Hehe. She's sweet. But what I was thinking was maybe I could get her to make some, and we could auction them off for various charities. What do you guys think? Would you participate? What kind of charity would you be proud to know you helped? Give me some feedback here. Is it even worth the effort?

The kids are good, Brody's good. Brody's being really supportive on my journey to find some peace of mind. He even volunteers at the tiger rescue with me on ocassion.

Help me find some sanity folks. Let me know what you think, and hopefully soon I'll be coherant enough to relay some fun times at work. Monique finally had her surgery, so she's not packing any extra heat these days. She's almost completely healed, but for now she runs like a duck. I almost pissed my pants watching her in a foot chase last week. Ahhh, good times.

 

anonymousbadge at 3:15:05 PM EDT Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 12 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

Caution*: This person may contain violence, strong language and occasional nudity.

*The real caution is that I'm about to go on a pissed off "so annoyed I can't think straight" rampage. You were warned.

No, I'm not dead. Though that fact is a bit amazing to me at the moment.

Sometime in early April I responded to a call that, no shit, came to me as possible cult sacrifice.

..........

What catagory exactly SHOULD that go under?

It turned out a farmer was slaughtering some of his cattle himself, and happened to have a few of his buddies over to help him. They just happened to all be wearing jeans and black t-shirts. Does that equal a cult? Not quite.

What did happen was a major transformation for me. I've never been so disgusted with anything in my life, and have since then become a tree-huggin' hippy that will never eat another piece of anything that ever had a face ever ever again. Give peas a chance!

But that's neither here nor there.

I have spent the last 3 months or so in a haze. I'm in a funk that I can't pull out of. I have spent at minimum 90 days literally clinging to a thin and frayed piece of string that slightly resembles sanity.

I've come to the conclusion that I hate people (but not you guys, unless you fall into any of the following catagories).

People are disgusting, vile, selfish, STUPID STUPID creatures and I would honestly rather ram my head into a brick wall repeatedly than spend one more fucking minute listening to some sorry sack of white trash tell me that he doesn't know how the bong got into his living room, but that I can't touch it since I was called out to investigate the apparent run-away case of his 16 year old daughter and not what he does with his leisure time.

Shut the fuck up and watch me.

No wonder your kid hauled ass. If I had to spend any significantamount of time in your crusty underwear-beer gut scratching-nut cheese smelling ass-presence, I wouldn't run away. I would bludgeon you to death with a wiffle bat in the hopes that in your dying moment, you would have maybe an iota of clarity and discover how contaminated the gene pool really was when your mama dove in.

I can't take the fucking stupidity anymore. Seriously. If I have to deal with one more teenager wearing his pants off his ass, carrying an airsoft gun like a Glock thinking he's going to rob some little old lady so he can buy himself a dime bag, I will fucking snap. One more college student with a roach in his ashtray assuring me that he knows the law and I "can't do that! I know my rights!", I will fling myself off the deep end. One more smart mouth little shit for brains girl that thinks she's 24 instead of 14 and can go hump the entire south side of town, I will buy a black market grenade launcher and use it. ONE MORE child molesting, wife beating, exploiter of handicapped people and I WILL GO BALLISTIC.

People can't drive. People can't behave themselves like human beings. People can't THINK. People can't get their heads out of their asses long enough to wipe the shit from their eyes and concern themselves with something OTHER than themselves. Wake the fuck up people! It's NOT all about you!

ONE MORE FUCKING ACCIDENT caused by some dumb bitch on her cell phone. One more drunk ass fleeing and eluding to the end of the block before he gets caught and taking out 3 parked cars in the process... One more nutcase with 24 dogs, 16 cats and 103 rabbits shitting and pissing all over each other. One more hate crime. One more abused child. One more abandoned baby. One more rape or murder or crackhead or deadbeat. One... Fucking... More...

That's it. I'm moving to the mountains and becoming a hermit. I'm ready to wash my hands of this crap.

I fail to understand why. How did we go so wrong? Why doesn't anyone use the brain they were given? Why is it so hard to make the RIGHT CHOICES?!

Lord help me. Or just the assholes I get my hands on tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

anonymousbadge at 2:18:20 AM EDT Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 14 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

Hi.

Been a while.

Let's see, I'll give you a quick run down of the last 30 days or so and catch you up before I go on a rant about how the DMV is run by monkeys.

Chased a car jacker into the next county, beat the shit out of a rapist (He was resisting. Yeah... that's it.), chased a shop lifter-who-was-actually-a-junkie-high-on-pcp thru the food court of a mall, caught him after jumping over a few tables, but then he managed to slam my face into a chair, so I hit him in the kidneys with an asp, knocked him loose, jabbed him in the Jesus Hollow to get out of the headlock I was in and tasered the shit out of him... literally. It was a mess. Umm... some DUI's, ran over an alligator (it made me cry, I'm not ashamed to admit but hey, I was given a new car so... whatever), few home invasions, some ending in fights/arrests, some not... tickets, court, domestics... you know. The usual shit.

That's about the extent of it. Nothing interesting, though it's been very quiet on the war front which has us a little on edge since the stink bombs so we're working on a particularly nasty preemptive strike.

On to the rant.

I honestly don't understand how half the population gets a driver's license. Really. I don't get it. Let's go over a few ground rules, shall we?

1. If you're about to pull out into swiftly moving traffic, make damn sure you can hit the gas and get your sorry butt the hell out of the way before the car behind you catches up. If you make them hit their brakes because you can't get movin' down the road quick enough, you have no business pulling out in the first place. Sit there and wait until you can pull out and be as slow as you want to be. Otherwise, I may very well pull you over and crush your face out of pure annoyance.

2. A) If you can't go any faster than the speed limit or 5 miles over, get your ass out of the left lane. This is the PASSING lane. It may not be strictly enforced, but COME ON people! This is common knowledge! GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY! The left lane is for people who want to get around you. When you're in the left lane doing 40, and the car in the right lane is doing 40, there's nowhere for those of us wanting to do 50 to go. Move your asses into the right lane.

2. B) The second part to this would be, if you're in the left lane doing the speed limit (which as previously covered you should not be doing) and a police car rushes up on your ass, DO NOT panic and think "OMG he's going to pull me over so I better do the EXACT speed limit and drive perfect!". GET OUT OF THE WAY. If that cop is riding your bumper, move your ass into the right lane. That cop doesn't want to pull you over for doing the speed limit. He wants to PASS YOU! Imagine that... someone wanting to pass you in the passing lane! Unthinkable! IF by some odd chance, that cop is wanting to pull you over, he'll follow you into the right lane and do so. That's a very slim chance indeed. Please keep in mind that we are not allowed to pass in the right lane. It's a safety hazard. We pass in the left and if we're on your bumper, we obviously have something bigger to worry about than if you're doing 42 in a 40. Please MOVE.

3. A) If you can't go the speed limit... you should not be driving. Period.

3. B) If a cop gets behind you, DO NOT slow down. If you're doing 50 in a 45, we're not going to pull you. At least no cop with half a brain would. Unless it's a school zone or construction area. If you're speeding, we've already caught you. Go on about your business and if we pull you, then we pull you. Immediately dropping to the exact speed limit the second you see us is ridiculous. What's even worse is going BELOW the speed limit figuring that's better than speeding. It's not because guess what? I can pull you over for going too slow. And I'm just enough of an asshole to do so.

4. Do not wait until 50 ft before your exit to get into the proper lane and turn. You end up cutting people off, they have to hit their brakes and it just makes for an ugly scene. If you know your exit is coming in a mile, get over and drive like a decent human being.

5. 4 way stops... all I have to say about this is PAY ATTENTION.

6. If 2 people in front of you run the first 3 seconds of a red light, don't assume that a 3rd person won't make a difference. STOP. An extra 2 minutes at an intersection is not going to ruin your day. RED MEANS STOP. I'm so tired of seeing 6 people run a red light. Just to warn Orlando now, I'm going on a red light campaign this week and I've got plenty of time to pass out tickets.

7. DO NOT stop at a red light and pull all the way up to the bumper of the car in front of you. You should leave at least half a car's length. If you sit on their bumper and the asshole behind you just taps you, you're going to lurch forward and hit the car in front of you. Now you've created an extra burden on someone else and yourself as your insurance is going to go up because had you not parked on their ass, you wouldn't have hit them too. If you sit on my ass, I will put my car in park and get out to ask you what the fuck is wrong with you.

8. If traffic is at a stand still, usually because construction is dropping 2 lanes to 1, and the people in the merge lane are waiting to get in, let someone in. Just 1 is sufficient to be called a good deed for the day. Don't be an ass and inch up to the car in front of you because you don't want to let someone in. What makes you think that where you have to go is more important than where anyone else needs to be? They could have a child in the hospital dying. You don't know what the hell they're doing with their day but I promise you, being 3 minutes late to your 9 to 5 isn't going to kill you.

Whatever your destination, getting their in the shortest amount of time is not the name of the game. Slow down, drive decent, and arrive alive.

anonymousbadge at 1:36:01 PM EST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 13 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

Self explanatory.

anonymousbadge at 11:58:25 AM EST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

Hell AKA "My New Year's Eve"

 

www.xanga.com/anonymousbadge

anonymousbadge at 10:54:09 AM EST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 0 comments: Add your own

Now go hit Xanga if you have nothing better to do. And remember to smile. Others will either catch on and share the smile, or they'll just think you forgot to take your medication.

anonymousbadge at 1:18:45 AM EST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 1 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

http://www.xanga.com/AnonymousBadge

anonymousbadge at 2:45:21 AM EST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 0 comments: Add your own

http://www.xanga.com/AnonymousBadge

If anyone is having trouble viewing the xanga blog, give me a shout and I'll give you a hand. See how that works? Everyone giving and working together? Imagine that.

 

 

anonymousbadge at 2:23:27 PM EST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 0 comments: Add your own