afterthoughts

9:28:55 PM EST
Feeling Happy so finally things are looking up. the guy that i wrote about before has asked me to marry him. he asked me on christmas eve in front of his family. a little embarrassing but still worth it. i got a big box for my last gift and i had to open about 5 boxes to get to the little one. of course i said YES!!  we have since bought a house and will be moving in, in about 2 weeks. alls going well. 

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4:15:29 PM EST
Hearing country

           this is a prime example with how this has been the month from hell. i just wrote an entry that i won' t be able to reproduce, it was lost when i tried to save it. i just can't win recently. it can't be karma b/c i haven't done anything immoral. i save lives on a daily bases, and keep peoples prized possessions from burning. everyday doesn't turn out like its suppose to but i try my best anyways. i have wrecked twice in the past month. 1st my truck which was the 1st vehicle that i purchased, it was totaled. then my new vehicle that replaced the truck i wrecked 3 days ago on I-75. i shut down the highway for a while, sorry.  this one wasn't totaled but now i'm out of a vehicle and my insurance is going to sky rocket. i come back from that and one of the fire depts. that i'm on is going to hell and back w/ problems. it just never seems to end. i want to run off for about a week and just get away. except i have no money b/c i keep breaking the expensive stuff. i really hope that next year gets better. its got to right?

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8:58:53 PM EST
Feeling Happy
Hearing trying to find atlantis       i have no clue what i have been doing for the past few weeks. i am going nutz but in a great way. i have met this guy, yeah go figure. this one is different. he might not be drop dead gorgeous but he drives me wild. i have never been late for work and i have been at least twice in the past few weeks and i don't much care. laying in bed w/ him was so worth it. normally i am a commitment phobe, not this time. i am trying to be open and honest. i could go and elope and not have a care in the world. i think about him constantly. i feel as if i am jumping into this and i don't want to screw it up, (b/c i constantly do that). he is trying so hard to quit smoking for me, and i love that he cares (i'm allergic to cigarette smoke).    i have a good feeling about this one girls!!

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10:09:46 PM EDT
Feeling Frustrated for those of you that are not in the fire service chaos means (chief has arrived on scene). the past two days my chief has been a complete and udder idiot. he has had no regard for members safety. he opened a main highway so traffic could zoom by the patients and members. it sucks having to avoid traffic when you are caring a patient across the road!! then he tried pawning his patient off onto me b/c he didn't want to transport, BS. i was trying to do quality assurance w/ him and his wife when it came to paperwork. we argued for over an hour on his opinion of how they weren't wrong. of all the members on the dept. he should of been the one to realize that it was to help the dept. w/ putting doc. into the state and to prevent us from being sued in the future!! now he is acting childish. he told me i was being a bitch on scene, he'll soon find out what kind of problems that will cause for him in the future. and making comments about having to watch his back. he is the chief of the department, he is suppose to be mature and responsible for his and others actions. anyways like i said, "chaos".

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