EightArmsT0holdu

10:35:41 PM EDT
Feeling Happy
Hearing None, Watching Flavor Flaaavvvvv! Well today went pretty well.. I slept really late, which rocked, and then hung out with John and Julie, then Brian came over. Julie made everyone spaghetti and meatballs, it was nice. Nothing really new has been happening. I'm dropping my car off at toyota tomorrow so, I'll be here all day cleaning my room. I'll write more later!

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8:15:56 PM EDT
Feeling Anxious
Hearing Deftones

Well here is a dumbass picture of me which i really look nothing like. I let my camera make me look thinner than i am, in the first pic, the second one is pretty right on but you cannot see my cottage cheese legs ...eww.. gotta work on that. So, tomorrow i am going to start a diet. Keeping a journal is the first step. However, i have so much to say i couldnt make it a journal JUST for weight loss! I'm pretty excited about the whole thing. So, being single is like.. wicked cool. I just got home this morning from my "best friends" house in PA. I was there for a week and the first and last days were the best. The first day i got totally fucking trashed, and the last day was just awesome because i came back home! During most of the week my friend either ditched work or ditched me for her boyfriend, i hardly saw her and it was not what i had expected at all. Her boyfriends friend drove me home, we all went for the 10 hour ride. He is a friggin asshole, her boyfriend is a selfish bastard and she just does whatever he wants like a little puppy dog. Needless to say it was a waste of a week for me but, at least i got out of town for a short period of time. This week i need to concentrate on finding a job, i really have a lot of bills to pay and need to get my life back together. The best part about starting over is finding yourself again and the one person that can make you feel whole. I dont even know if real love exsists anymore, it seems like men don't want to settle down, they just want to be swingers. What ever happened to commitment? Why is everything a lie? Fuck the dumb shit just be real with people, its how you get them to stick around. Telling the truth is easier than a lie, i'd rather have someone think i am a total bitch for speaking the truth than a shady bitch for lying.. idk.. Liars are a big problem. Anyway, I'm going to enjoy being single and whatever happens, happens. Recently i have been talking to this dude, his name is Nick. Nick is wicked nice and i think he is so cool and would make an awesome friend, i just need to stop being such a baby and meet him. Ive told him time and time again how i look, i think he doesnt even believe it, im so nervous he would be embarassed and not want a fat friend. I worry a lot. Having guys for friends is always awesome, plus he is so funny and does weird shit like i do so i think we would have so much fun and that best part is he likes VERUCA SALT!!!!!!!! I need to stop being sooo nervous!!!! Everytime he asks me to hang out i keep repeating "its only nick, he is only a friend, he wont care what you look like" Although if he did care its like.. well.. that sucks cuz he is so cool!  Okay, I've have enough rambling, I'm going to straighten my hair and put on some makeup, go to my friends house.. should be calling Nick to hang out but i am scared!!!!!

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