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10:17:00 PM EDT
Musings
So, yesterday I get an email from an old friend. I've known him for ten years now. Amazing, when I think about it. So, we got into this conversation about dating. It led me to ask him some questions on his approach and also what he felt were his top five qualities and where he could stand improvement. To be honest, I was surprised he tried to answer them, but then he always surprises me. We've had this cat and mouse relationship at times, with me trying to catch a glimpse of who he is behind the obvious. So, it did surprise me he answered. It was rather late in his time zone, and I think I caught him at a good time where he was not thinking clearly, lol. Anyway, after reading what he wrote it sounded like a resume. He addressed his positives from the perspective of "tangibles". Works hard, owns a home, money in the bank, nice physique (Ladies this is very true, although I'd never admit to it to him, lol) and no drug/alcohol vices. So, he asked me what I thought. Well he asked...lol. I got down to business and encouraged him to stretch beyond the tangibles, which might be important to a gold digger type, but it would be nice if he shared more "stuff" about himself. He has always been so evasive about what makes up his life. He is and is not a real mystery to me, and I stopped wondering a long time ago if I'd ever know more about this man than I do now, lol. Oh, and he did not respond to my email back at him so I either ticked him off or he finally woke up enough and has the ole guard back down, lol.
After all of this, it did get me to thinking what do women look for nowadays when dating a man? What do they want to know about men in order to get to the second date? Is it really all about status? I do not understand why it is so easy to share the tangibles but when it comes to intangibles, you might as well ask for a date on the moon. Am I alone here?
I have had few occasions where a man has brought me right out of my comfort zone to a point of losing my train of thought. That would be an automatic for at least a second date in my book, lol. But what would it take for someone to get a second date with you? And for the men, what are you willing to share about yourself or is this some male code to be evasive in case it doesn't work out and then its easier to keep the distance?
I'm glad I don't have to worry about dating anymore, because I really didn't like it when I had to do it, lol.
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I dont' know if I know how to describe it. But I do think what I'd respond to has definately changed over time. - Barbara
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being married for almost 28 years, I wouldn't even know how to begin dating again, LOL; I think if my husband dies before me, it will take me a long time to venture out into that arena again
interesting point of conversation though
betty -
My first thing I look for is conversation. Funny that we're talking about this, just today I was asked out on a second date, and for me the first thing I thought of when you asked this, is conversation and humor.... he has both. It doesn't hurt that he's doing well financially, but that's not what I look for, however, I kind of do expect it, I'm 45 years old, I think a man my age who didn't have anything would just be a burden.... I want him to be at LEAST the same as me financially, believe me, that's not asking alot.... LOL!!!
Joann
4/22/08 5:43 PM
hugs
Sherry
http://journals.aol.com/shrbr