Atkins Adventures

Well, I haven't been around to visit your journals again, but something else happened.  This time it's not serious, but it is annoying.  My computer broke!  Right now I've walked up to the library to use theirs.  I've been meaning to walk up here every day, but haven't felt inclined to do the walking.  (No, I'm not exercising every day.)

I am expecting an insurance settlement for the wreck that totaled my car a few months ago.  So I can get me a reburbished computer.  I'm just not sure if I should get the internet again after some things about it have caused me so much anxiety.  There's some good things, definitely!  But some things just upset me so much.

Like, i was e-mailing these two friends of mine named Amy and Jennifer.  They are very sweet.  But I would just tell them stuff going on, and i would become very anxious about it.  They would send responses, and i would be afraid to open them.  I would get mad if they said something that was slightly off.  I would obsess over every little comment.  I wasn't like that with what they said in person, so I don't know why I was like that in e-mail.  That's just how I am.

Also, I got a really ugly e-mail from a so-called online friend about the blog entry I made about the overdose.  She said I surrounded myself with people who coddled and made excuses for my behavior, and I was selfish and narcissistic.  She also commented how I talked more about how I needed to keep my apartment clean than I did about Colton. 

I didn't realize my blog entry would be picked apart and used as fodder to insult me.  Anyone who is supposed to be my friend knows how devoted I am to Colton.  But I was worried about keeping my apartment clean because I didn't want to get kicked out.

So that really upset me a lot.  My therapist was asking me if I needed to keep my blog considering all the comments and responses wouldn't be positive.  I thought I would get rid of my blog.  But then today I got this e-mail about someone who read it who also had bipolar disorder, and it made me want to keep it if somehow one person identified with it.

At any rate, I want to read other blogs, too.  This time I just deleted all the alerts because it wastoo overwhelming.  But I will come up here about twice per week, (to the library,) and read at least the most recent entry on all my blog friends' journals.  I will come back on Tuesday to do that.

Since I don't talk enough about Colton, I thought I would give an update on how he's doing.  He just got his report card, and he made the honor roll.  He was never making good grades at this school here.  I think a combination of a bad teacher and a sick mother was making him perform poorly.  He also had disciplinary issues, and there is none of that at the new school.

They are looking to do some testing to see if he has a disorder on the autism spectrum.  I see some signs of Asperger's, but not enough to make me think he has it.  I have already talked to his doctor about his developmental issues multiple times, but his doctor said there's nothing wrong with him and recommended a parenting book.

I have finally started my job at Models of the Maker.  Some interesting stuff happened this week, so I was glad to be there.

I have still been depressed and crying on some days.  Mood swings.  I called Dr. Awtrey's office and told them.  It's understandable since I got confused about my lithium and was taking only 600 per day, when it was actually supposed to be 1200 per day, (600 per dose.)  So she said to increase it to the correct dosage that they gave me in the hospital, because the lab work had shown that the level of lithium in my blood wasn't at a therapeutic level.  So hopefully I will stop having days like that.

I need to change the name of this blog, but I don't have any ideas.  I will think about it over the next few days.  I am not even focused on weight loss any more.  Terrible to say.  I just can't deal with worrying about it right now.  I do just wish I could focus on maintaining.  But with some of these cravings I've been having, and giving in to, it's hard to imagine that is going to happen.  I haven't weighed.

I do hope everyone is well.  And I do thank you for being friends to me.

Donna

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• #6 Comment from momiscool2 
  6/6/08 1:01 PM | Permalink

  Hi Donna!
  
  I saw you got the nice Friend award from Pam! Congratulations!!
  
  I Hope your computer is fixed by now.
  
  Don't let any jerk emailers stop you from writing in your journal.
  
  I havea son with adhd and one with hf autism and a 3rd teenager know it all lol.
  
  I'm bipolar too so I get what you go through witht eh meds and the ups and downs.
  
  Email me any time.
  
  Love,
  Michelle
  http://journals.aol.com/momiscool2/is-this-my-life
• #5 Comment from linnpooh 
  4/29/08 11:17 AM | Permalink

  Hi Donna,
  I'm glad you have returned and I'm so sorry about your computer woes. I'm also sorry that some thoughtless person decided to interject their negative thoughts into your journal. Remember that is IS your journal and you can write anything you want or NEED to. You are a good Mother....ignore anyone who says you aren't and just hang in the and keep working on things. You WILL get there!!!
  
  Pooh Hugs,
  Linda
• #4 Comment from ecco69 
  4/28/08 11:03 AM | Permalink

  Hey Donna... I think you seeing the Dr is helping you and DO NOT let anyone ever tell you that you aren't a good mother!!!  What you are doing for him took a lot of courage!!  He is doing so well in school.  You are doing the right thing!!!  I will always be here for you and DON'T let stupid people with their stupid comments upset you.  People who say mean things in journals have nothing better to do with their own lives.  They usually are unhappy with themselves and their life, so they try and make others feel just as unhappy.  YOU ARE DOING GREAT Donna!!! Keep up the great work!!
  Christina
  http://journals.aol.com/ecco69/my-evil-ways/
• #3 Comment from shrbrisc 
  4/28/08 8:20 AM | Permalink

  hang in there Donna and work on you don't worry what others think , all that matters is you are working on getting better
  hugs
  Sherry
  http://journals.aol.com/shrbrisc/sherrys-weightloss-journey/
• #2 Comment from lv2trnscrb 
  4/26/08 8:27 PM | Permalink

  I always hate when people either email someone about what they write in their journal or leave a mean comment; people forget that a journal is the person's place to write what they want and if someone doesn't like what they read, they can either not read the journal or not comment, but a comment should always be a positive statement, in my opinion, because we should be honored that someone is taking the time to write down their thoughts and allowing us to read them. So I'm sorry that person who emailed you was such a negative type of person; got to feel sorry for them that they felt they had to put you down in that way
  
  sorry about the computer; its good you can go to the library and get some exercise walking there and then spend some time on the Internet
  
  that is neat Colton made honor roll! some kids just do better at other schools than their first school they've been to; sometimes a change is what is needed for them
  
  My daughter (she's 22) has Asperger's; I'm glad they are testing your son or looking into it; an earlier diagnosis is always a good thing to get him the help if he needs it
  
  betty