Back Talk

It's time for me to say, "CUL8R." Yes, the girl is going offline for the rest of the summer. I'm starting a new chapter in my life after 8 wonderful years with AOL and I'm planning to take some time to do what I love doing the most, being a mom!

I'm also opening an art studio down by the Chesapeake Bay, so wish me luck in my new entrepreneurial adventure ; )

It was fun blogging with all of you moms and dads. Please look for a future blog from me (after school starts up!) at www.alivinggirl.com.

~K

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I'm back. Did you miss me?  

I really have to prioritize this mommy/work thing a little better. Writing every two weeks is not cool, I know. But it's summer in the Mid-Atlantic -- other than lying coolly on the beach, what other priorities matter? ; )  

I've had an interesting few weeks, thinking about priorities and what really matters to me. Of course, my kids are top of the list.  

My 19-year old son decided it was time to land a spectacular entrance into the emergency room the evening before July 4. My 16-year old son called me at home on Sunday afternoon from his cell phone:

CJ [laughing hysterically]: "Mom, we're at the pool. Mark broke his neck."
Me: [dead calm, because after all, I've raised two teenage sons]: "What?"
CJ [laughing even more hysterically]: "Mom, Mark broke his neck going off the diving board."
Me: [heart stopped, because after all, I've raised two teenage sons]: "What......did......you......say......and......why......are......you...... laughing ABOUT YOUR BROTHER BREAKING HIS NECK?!?"  
CJ [suddenly realizing from my tone this is serious]: "Mom, Mark broke his NOSE on the diving board. He was doing a backflip and he's bleeding really bad and he slammed his knee into his nose..."
Me: [In Dr. mom mode flipping down a mental checklist]: "CJ, is he breathing? Did you call 911? Is the lifeguard helping him? Is he lying down? Did he pass out? How long ago did this happen? Can he talk? Is he conscious?..."
CJ [getting worried]: "He's having trouble breathing, no we didn't call 911, the lifeguard isn't helping but Mark did get a girl's phone number right before he..."
Me [mad]: CJ!!! Get off the phone. Give the phone to Mark. Get your brother an ice pack from the lifeguard station and tell him to sit down and breathe through his mouth while pinching his nose, if he can. Tell him I'm coming to get him to take him to the ER. Call 911 if he passes out or is losing too much blood. Don't let him drive. Do you understand?"
CJ: OK, Mom.  

So yes, we spent four hours in the ER. Mark completely broke the bone all the way through in his nose and enjoyed getting cotton gauze packed in to stop the bleeding. And I really enjoyed looking at X-rays of my oldest child's bones. A mother should never have to see her child's bones.  

His nose set just fine last week, and he called the girl and she went on a date with him after the swelling went down.  

Me? It was scary getting that call, but I know he's a big boy. I've kept my boys safe and sound as much as a mom could without limiting them -- I've taken them hang gliding, surfing, skiing, snow boarding and even support them in playing football. I know the risks, and I know that you can't live life and enjoy it without tempting fate now and then.   

Mark didn't break anything on my watch the first 18 years, so at least that's something.

Two more years to go with CJ.

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I rarely jump on a bandwagon or step up on a soapbox, but I've decided to do the responsible thing this time and jump on and step up on this campaign and make some noise. I encourage you to do the same -- it will only take ONE minute of your day.

Find out what AOL is doing, and find out what YOU can do to make the world a better place and erase poverty.

LIVE 8 on AOL

The ONE Campaign

Personally, I've decided to use this as an opportunity to teach my children that they can, and should, make a difference in this world. They are far too comfortable playing video games, hanging out at the mall with their friends and going to summer camps to fully know and understand what's happening around the globe -- and in some cases, in their own backyard.

My kids don't know what it's like to worry about where their next meal, if any, is coming from. Or what it's like to watch a brother or sister waste away in front of them. I don't want them to know these horrors -- I want to protect them from the things that might hurt, every mom would. But I can't turn away from this, because somewhere on this planet there is a mother whose child is hurting, and even dying from poverty.

I signed the declaration today and I sent an email to my kids because I know they have friends on their AOL Buddy List who have friends on their AOL Buddy List and we can reach a lot of people. I encourage you to do the same and email your friends and family. Send them a link to Back Talk if you don't know what to say, or are pressed for time. It will only take ONE minute.

The email to my kids:

I ordered bracelets for all of us since they are so "in" these days. So guess what? You can add to your collection of cool colored bands if you do ONE thing first.

Do me a favor, take a minute and read about this campaign, sign the declaration (if you feel so inclined) and send it to at least two of your friends on your Buddy List and tell them to do the same. That's it, and that's the minimum you should do.

http://theonecampaign.org/  

Part of being a human being is helping those less fortunate than you. You may not help the person who directly needs help, but you may help someone who can help them. You should remember that you could have easily been one of the ones who needs help, but you were fortunate enough to be born into having all of your needs met, and never knowing hunger or disease.  

Your generation is going to have to be responsible for making a bigger impact on the world than our generation has, because of the increased population. That's just the way it is now, and you can give ONE minute of your time to create awareness.  

Love, Mom

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The AOL Living Editors are clued in to what Real Living Girls need! If you don't have your summer suit picked out yet (hey, it's only the second day of summer!) be sure to check out the above swimsuit feature: AOL Living - Main  

 

Thank you AOL Living Editors for putting "Big Butt" right there off the AOL Welcome Screen in bold letters, and for including affordable swim suits so moms everywhere can feel confident, look good and still buy groceries!  

Nicely done.

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In Style Summer Trends 2005  

Oh I just love swimsuit season, don't you? Ouch! I just bit my tongue.  

InStyle Magazine is featuring a Swimsuit Guide for 2005 to help you find the perfect suit fit your body style. You, as in the Barbie Doll. Not me.  

If you're a mom of three, like me, then you know magazines aren't going to feature swimsuits for Real Living Girls. I can't imagine for example wearing the "Small Chest" suit with "extra padding and a swirly pattern add interest to a less-than-ample top."  

Less-than-ample what??  

Come on fashionistas, why do you design these impractical flossy "suits" that wouldn't even begin to cover my left breast if I used both pieces? Do you really think that everyone is a perfect size 2 after birthing and nursing one or more babies? On behalf of all Living Girls, I challenge you to design a perfect size 20 and feature it. I'll even write the copy for you:  

Large Chest and Hip Suit: Featured in black to minimize ample curves and yet feminine and practical so your breasts and butt won't hang out.  

Let's take a look at another featured suit, the "Large Hips" one: "A pair of dark briefs scale down hips; paisley pattern draws attention to other curves." For sure this will draw attention to my other curves. My curvy stomach for example, as it scales right down over the top of the "briefs" and obliterates the paisleys. Please.  

One more, the "Boyish Figure" suit: "Cutouts at the sides create the illusion of more curves." Haha. HAHAHA! In my case, there's no illusion whatsoever. My curves, created by three babies and a love of gourmet food are going to pour right out the sides of this suit.  

 

I think I may just go pick out one of these suits up and wear it to the beach this summer, with a big sign on my ample rear thanking the 2005 swimsuit designers for creating such cute suits. For Barbie Dolls.

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There's nothing I love more than an 8AM animated conversation with a kindergartner while I'm navigating my Jeep over the hills and through the woods during my daily commute to the office. As we were plowing through the creek, the subject of fish came up.

Kalina: "I need a bigger fish tank"
Me: "Really? But you don't clean the one you have, daddy does."
Kalina: "I know. But Bencil is getting to big for my tank."

Note: "Bencil" is my daughter's goldfish. He's actually a Jr. His father passed away when my daughter was three, and he is now resting comfortably in the back yard under a rock, having been too large to flush down the toilet. Bencil Sr. was a 19-cent feeder fish that my saltwater eel refused to eat, having preferred the taste of $75 lionfish instead, so we gave him to Kalina to raise and nurture.

Me: "Why don't we put Bencil in the creek where he can swim free and meet other fish?"
Kalina: "No mom, he's not that kind of fish."
Me: "What do you mean? He likes water. He's a fish."
Kalina: "Mom! He's a FEEDER fish, the other fish will eat him. He won't like that."
Me to Myself: How the heck does she remember this stuff? Me: How about if we talk about this later? Maybe we should ask Bencil where he would like to live?
Kalina: "Mom!! You just don't understand."

And so it begins...

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Miss me? I miss you!

I've been in a funk for a week and could use some moral support from all of you moms.

My "baby" is graduating from kindergarten next week. Where did the time go?

It really wasn't that long ago when she was taking her first steps. Now, she will be walking across the stage to graduate and become "a first-grader." Twelve short years from now, she'll be graduating from high school. After that, she tells me she wants to be a mom when she grows up.

I remember when she was filled with wonder and amazement at everything new -- when she was two and discovered her shoelaces for the first time, and how fascinating it was to untie them over and over; when she was four and a butterfly fluttered by and she clung to me in fear, and then she was overcome with sudden fascination and I could barely catch up with her as she ran away...

I'm happy, but so very sad.

Take some time to enjoy your kids this weekend.

alivinggirl at 11:11:04 AM EDT Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 2 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

LMaha92950 asks SAHMS, "How many more days do your kids have in school? Any plans for the summer? Are you looking forward to summer or dreading it?"

   

What a wonderful question to start making summer plans! I think this is a good question for working moms too, like me ; )  

As a child, I loved summer. It meant freedom from the confines of the school walls and the teacher's rules. It meant running as fast as I could to the pool with my sister, our bare feet burning on the hot cement.  

Summer meant the smell of clover, the sting of sunburns, and watching the clouds go by while daydreaming with my best friend about what we were going to be when we grew up. It meant racing the ice cream truck's ding-a-ling bell from wherever I was playing outside, into the house to beg my mom for a quarter for what seemed like an eternity before I could claim my sticky red, white and blue melting prize, a bomb pop.  

As a working mother, summer loses its appeal inside the confines of my pod walls during my workday. But I do have a window I look out of, and I remember the summers of my childhood so long ago.   

Everything changes when I leave the office and pick up my daughter from daycare after the day is done. We go home and play in the backyard, make clover necklaces together and watch the clouds go by as the sun sets. On weekends we go to the pool, eat melting ice cream cones and share our dreams. She tells me what she wants to be when she grows up, and I smile.  

I always look forward to summer.

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Here we go again: Women's Combat Roles at Ease in New House Bill

Should women be allowed in combat?
Should men be allowed in the kitchen?  

My opinion? Yes. Women should be allowed in combat and men should be allowed in the kitchen. Some men cook better. Some women kill better. This "issue" has nothing to do with gender, and everything to do with the individual.

As a woman, would I choose to go into combat? No. Personally I would prefer to resolve things using diplomacy at a luncheon downtown, over guns in a remote area in another country. But don't tell me I can't choose to blow things up and play combat games just because I am a woman.

My husband makes damn good spaghetti. And I have a knack for resolving conflicts. A typical weeknight in my household might go something like this:

Husband: "Wife, have you seen my apron? I'd like to make spaghetti for dinner and I don't want to spill sauce on my T-shirt. I just did my laundry this week and don't want to have to run another load this weekend."

Wife: "Find the damn apron yourself. I have to go down to the school and straighten out the football coach who saw fit to let our son play first string even though he's failing Math. Keep my dinner warm for me Husband."

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Click to Play the Video: Grocery Store Wars

This video shared with me by my colleague Joanne is hilarious. If you didn't make it to Episode III last night, no worries, this is far more entertaining. 

I'll never go grocery shopping the same way again. I may even start naming my veggies if it will convince the boys to eat them at dinner. I can tell them they can join the Organic Rebellion and heroes such as:

ChewBroccoli
Ham Solo
Lord Tader
Princess Lettuce
Tofu D2

Have fun with that. I'm going to take a nap on my keyboard now.

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