Moonlight Drive

10:18:31 PM EST                        


I look at Dakota, and think man this must be like how rock stars feel. I get up let him out into the great big back yard.  He does what he does, and barks to come in.  In the time frame that he is outside I rush to do what I need to do, and let him in.  I feed him, give him his meds (Dakota has thyroid problems too...lol) he gets fresh water....if not I get the look. Which I thought I was the only giving "the look" around here. After all this is finished he gets tons of love and affection. I tell him how gorgeous he is, and of course the belly rub....HELLO life could not go on without that.  He relaxes on leather furniture while I get ready for work, or we hang out and watch the tube. If I am leaving for work I always tell him goodbye, and I give him a treat. He sighs and looks away.....totally smug with his affection.  I cannot shower, sleep, eat, anything without him there.  If I have been around other critters I get the smell down, and again the sigh. He is so funny, and such a part of my life. This pic says it all....lmao. He has really nice teeth.


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10:52:12 PM EST

I survived the Ohio State game, which was an awful game.  Too many little bar fights had to be broken up, I was in charge of food, and I wore a cute outfit. That all adds up to one cranky bartender. It was a big pisser of a game. We had one Michigan fan in the group, and of course he cheered for LSU. Big mistake.  I myself believe you should cheer for whatever team you want, but a large crowd of scarlet and gray states otherwise. He was a moron, and the bartender ignored him most of the night.....lol

  Hey I gotta save face with my regs...they take care of me.  The place was a mad house, and I did not get home and snug in my bed until 4~ish. No bar~back....I was wore out. 42 is not exactly young...well in hollywood, with a good plastic surgeon.....I too could look young, and perky.  I kinda like my laugh lines, and well perky....been there did that...and wore the t~shirt very nicely. lol I turned right around and was back in this morning........ugh. I shouldn't bitch too much...I did make killer money Monday.  I had some lady (loosely used word) trying to tell me how to make my drinks..which really urks me. Sometimes I come across drinks I have never heard of, and I do not mind having the ingredients explained to me. (quickly) But she was telling me how to do my job. Never piss off your bartender. Tip me well right off the bat, that lets me know you know what your doing. I will get to you quicker, and notice your empty drink possibly before you do. I ended up giving her my attitude...so it's the wait and see game.

Okay I have a game I play called...cover and wait. I take cover after the "wrath of Dwana's mouth" has struck, and I wait to get in trouble. I'm again 42, and with age comes the whole I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT ATTITUDE.  It really is free feeling. I rarely fly off the handle, but if I do it was because I was provoked. This woman was practically pissing on my leg.....off my territory is what I gave her. Now if it were in a reversed situation I would expect to be put in my place. It all comes down to the "pissing off the person taking care of you"....it's the one the most stupid things you can do. I treat other bartenders like gold (usually) and they in return treat me well. It's only fair play. Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm OFF. Sleeping late, and drinking my coffee in peace.

 

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11:15:48 PM EST
Feeling Loopy
Hearing The Cure  (thank god for the 80's)

Okay, it's been awhile..so this may not be pretty, but it's just one of those things that needs to be done...lol. I've not just avoided my journal...it's funny I have avoided alot of things....it's my inner bear. "The cave looks good to me thing." I'm trying to shake it.

 

Alot has happened, yet it's the song remains the same..if I can borrow that lyric. Anyway, I finally addressed the thyroid issue..yep I have been zapped by radioactive iodine, and I have gained 8 pounds since..dammit janet. My constant bitching about kids flying the coop has begun. Rob, (the baby 20 year old) moved to Mankato, MN. We helped move him last friday. I am strickened with an inner saddness that I cannot describe. Smack my dumbass please, but I cannot help but to feel my silly loon has left me forever. 

 Rob is the most like me out the of the two. He likes sick jokes, and stupid humor. My daughter (the other 21 year old baby) is was more serious, and into girly movies. She is moving soon too Chicago...I am gonna lose my mind. It will be just Andy and I. Sooooo the sex life will improve, but when that's  said and done....then what? I am hyper...on the move, in constant motion..will he die an early death? Will I die an early death? Will I take up belly dancing? WHAT?

Maybe take up smoking again...not sure yet what will become of us. I am still a bartender, and I still bitch and moan about customers. I love to be mean to them, and make more money...it's like they pay me to hurt them...lol without the leather and whips..lmao. Friends have come and gone, some have moved, some have just been replaced because I am a loner at times and they cannot take me not being "on" all the time. The great pretender has hidden herself for a short period, and they have moved on I should say...I do not hold this against them...has I plot revenge...lol j/k

I survived the ugly pink (unforgiving) bridal dress and wedding from hell. I have battle scars to prove it...okay they are scars on the inside...but they still smart. I have discovered I am not nearly as sweet, and nice as I thought...you might get this from me too..but I could not possibly see why...lol. I miss my son, I miss my hyper active thyroid, and I miss my friends that flew at the first signs of me not being little miss perfect. I have loads to be thankful for..but I can still bitch here..and man I am feel like my clip is spent. RELOAD!

We had an Irish themed Christmas, and Thanksgiving...lmao....my daughter came up with this wonderful idea to go out and have a chinese dinner together.  Well folks regardless of what the movies show....chinese resturants are CLOSED...no matter how far you drive. We ended up trying to do a last minute dive to the grocery, but they too close early. My cabinets had nothing to offer...so Ruby Tuesday's here we come. It was yummy, and fun. We had the place to ourselves with a hellva good server. She made us laugh, and we treated her like one of our family...plus the tip made her blush. I LOVED IT.

So it all worked out...I had a crab cake sandwich lol. Andy was red faced and having a duck fit, and he too came around. It was just us (the chapman family..it's okay...snap your fingers..we are cooky, and creepy) laughing, dining, and being a family....and damn here it comes...possibly our last thanksgiving with everyone still at home. Please someone drive to my house, come on in, and smack the holy hell out of me..lol what is this emotion? Is stupid an emotion...isn't this what I have been waiting for?

I miss everyone, and all the journals. I wanted to write, but felt to blah to express myself. I hope to be back and purging soon. I worked New Years eve...and guess who was our (not so experienced) barback, but cute as hell? Yep the hubby (Andy). We worked his sweet ass off...lol he was good too. The ladies liked him, and I felt alittle green monster growing inside, but I was way to busy to act on it. In the long run, I was glad he had the attention...married does not mean your dead. It can mean your wife will come across the bar and smack your skank ass if you get too friendly...lmao at least I could flirt with the help..lol so again it was a good thing..that does not need repeating. Jealous, loner, and crazy...I need some new shoes....stat.

luvs

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1:01:54 AM EDT
Feeling Silly

all is vanity by Allan Gilbert

 

Anywoo woo,

Yes I'm thinking of leaves changing to vivid colors, pumpkins having their guts ripped out, dressing alittle more risky, wine, music, sex, bonfires, ghosts, and candy....is that a song?  People, the great Halloween is upon us, and I am in the mood. SOOOO IN THE MOOD. I've had a long summer, and not the greatest...hey I can't complain, but I am used to more outrageous times....maybe I'm slowing down, maybe the rocking chair be calling me.............FuC@ that...just a slow summer.

 

But I expect winter to be hot, and fun filled.  I found out after months of worry, and dread that my thyroid is 100% cancer free. WOO HOO.  Next month I see another doctor to finish up my diagnosis to be sure. I sometimes, okay I always hole up in times of trouble and shocking enough do not talk too much about what is really on my mind. Oh I can ramble on like a chatty cathy  about little things. Or I can express my concerns for loved ones with great love and compassion, but when it comes to me I hide. The darker the better. I am a total bitch. (worse than usual) Friends stop calling, my family thinks that  I have finally jumped off the deep end..that I typically swim in anyway..so hopefully I can put that self indulgent shit behind me, and think of others for a change....funny how life points a finger directly at you, and all at once you have no clue what to do. Hide...run for the hills.

 

I give good advice, but suck at taking it. Now it's time to clean the bathroom...I like to to clean when I have shit on my mind. That's why my house is so messy...lmao. Get alittle ill, and this place is ready for the queen....lmao. luv to all And dammit it's October..the best month of the year...for me. Party, breathe it all in, and enjoy the night.

Miss ya Mortimer

 

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9:33:18 PM EDT
Feeling Quiet
Hearing The Doors

    Okay so here we are...we survived "the wedding", we have not killed each other yet. Summer has been one big whirl. Yes, we had lots of shin~digs, and yes adult spirits were served in large quantities...lol We went on a crazy road trip to W. Va. ended up at a gourmet type pizza place...after two micro brews each, and a pizza we spent 50 bucks..not counting the tip.

 

It was a really cool little spot in Sommersville. We traveled all over, Andy stirring up old ghosts, and I putting some to rest. We went to see the Great Mystery Hole, which was a complete waste, and it made me feel funny in my tummy. We crashed in scary places, and kept on truckin. Yep truckin. lol We are headed to Put In Bay this weekend for the last big "event" of the summer.

 

We camped in our own yard, and got busted by the man for being "too loud". He almost got to see some action...if you know what I mean...not that he would want to by any means.  We had many bonfires...except we have changed our fire pit location due to the neighbors dogs slash creatures from hell that never ever stop barking. We all know I am an animal lover...but that does not mean I will not thrash a human being that does respect others sleep.

 

I am still dealing with thyroid issues, and will find out in a few weeks what is to become of me, and my gnarly little thyroid gland. I will post pics of the wedding, and summer time pics as soon as my grandma sends me my camera..that I left in W. Va. dang it I hate when I forget shit...and I always do. I have worked every day this week, and will continue so. Then I will throw a bottle of vodka, cranberry juice, clothes, cd's, and jammies in the jeep..and it's off to the rodeo...well the Put In Bay place.

 

Speaking of my jeep...I got to take it off road on a real jeep trail/course. I scored a 1.03 in a race...yes my little stock jeep..no lift kit...nor the big tires...just  me and the trail....we were one. And you could say that I placed 3rd, except there was no prize or trophy for 3rd. But I did beat out a bunch of guys. WOO HOO. Andy thinks it's sexy...so that's always a good thing. I really wanted the gold chicken trophy...I have never had a trophy....ever :o(  Oh well maybe next time. Hope all is well out there. I miss everyone, but life has been a blur, as mentioned before. So I am off to pack, clean, and prepare for fun fun fun.....I hope hope hope.

 

Oh, and after much excitement of being children free...they have both decided to stay with us for a while longer....I cannot explain how this makes me feel...it's beyond words....at least any words that I can use in my journal..lol I love 'em...but my foot is starting to get this itch....an itch to kick little chicks out of the nest. Fly lil birdies fly, and be free to live your life, wash your own clothes, buy your own strange food, and clean up your own messes. Do I sound awful or what?  lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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11:20:07 PM EDT
Hearing Smashing Pumpkins

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2:29:24 PM EDT

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12:02:44 PM EDT

What a beautiful weekend, and so far a beautiful day. I'm out on our back porch having my coffee, and I can hear quacking noises....immediately I remember our ducks. We have pool, and the cover always fills in with water no matter what we do. Three years ago I noticed two ducks on the edge of the pool. A male mallard and a female. Every year my dogs would run them off, or myself. I would hate to think what pool water would do to them once we open it and add all the chemicals.

This year only the female showed up. I noticed her last week, and Dakota quickly ran her off. Today I hear two or more ducks....so I pull my jedi silent move and check it out. There are two females in the pool just swimming along. I wonder where the male went? Is it girl ducks day out. Has she chosen a alternative lifestyle and found love with the female duck? Are they both widows consoling each other?

I know I put way too much thought in these things...lol  I just feel kind of strange without the male showing up...is he detained at the border, running late, or has he moved on not finding love in his partner of 3 years? Okay, enough coffee. I must get busy...working tonight.

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6:14:15 PM EDT I am making the time. Have you ever felt like your going in ten different directions, and really your not even moving ahead? I seem to never have time to do things that I find relaxing, or enjoyable....so that means, no horror flics, not finishing Hunter S. Thompson's "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas", sex, exercising...whatever it is I enjoy. My house is a mess, my jeep needs washed, and I am too tired to care. But I have decided to screw everything else and do what it is that makes me smile. I actually did finish the book...excellent, and I started a new one by Anthony Keidis from the Red Hot Chili Peppers called "Scar Tissue", I was gonna go to the gym but decided on a walk instead. The jeep, and house....well, we will wait and see if the cleaning fairey stops by. lol   I still am searching for a new job, and that is not going so well. I need to re~fab my resume or something. Rob has applied to Bowling Green, and Dix is headed towards Miami. So that alone time with Andy is not far from reality anymore. What ever will we do?  Hmmmmm...something to ponder. I miss reading everyone, and I plain to be back tomorrow to catch up. Time flies. I am not spell checking...I have not the time. smiles

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7:46:08 PM EST

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