Right Side of The Rainbow

If I somehow woke up tomorrow morning to find myself supreme ruler of the United States of America, there are many things I would change.

I would abolish the IRS, instead instituting a flat sales tax.

I would give people a tax credit for their food and basic necessities, so that no one would get taxed for the things they need to live. This would tie government income to the economy, and the consumer confidence level. It would immediately become beneficial for a person to work harder, as each dollar earned would belong to the person who earned it, instead of a progressive tax system where each additional dollar earned is worth less than the one before it.

The flat tax system would allow me to abolish Social Security. People would be making more money, and would be able to open their own personal retirement accounts that would be in their name, and would transfer to their heirs in case of their death.

Marijuana would be legal to all legal adults (18 years of age).

No government agency would conduct drug tests, instead dismissing employees who let any drug use interfere with their work. If you smoke one joint a month, and never let it interfere with your work, it is ludicrous to claim that you shouldn’t be employed.

I would overturn Roe vs. Wade, once again making infanticide a crime.

I would deny licenses to all doctors who have performed abortions or assisted with someone’s suicide.

I would withdraw from the United Nations Debating Club, that useless body of graft and corruption currently sucking up prime office space in New York City.  They would be given a 30 day notice to vacate the premises.  I would  use government transport planes to take them and their stuff the hell out of our country - and drop them and it off anywhere in Europe of their choosing.

I would severely cut down on frivolous lawsuits, and punish lawyers who file them.  I would cap pain and suffering awards at an amount tied to inflation.

I would scale back Federal regulation of many areas, allowing independent organizations to bid for such jobs.

I would repeal the DMCA and any other law that limited a consumer’s right to have full access to any product they buy.

I would sign the Kyoto Protocol… and then set fire to it and dance on its ashes.

I would stop funding NASA, and leave space exploration up to private corporations.

I would privatize education, only requiring yearly standardized testing.

I would vigorously explore alternative energy sources, but allow domestic drilling to reduce Middle Eastern oil dependence in the meantime.

I would prosecute the ATF and the FBI for the murders of men, women and children at Waco, TX.

I would eliminate all dual-language signs, in government offices, and on any public property.  If you think you’re good enough to contribute to my country, you can damn well learn to speak the language.

I would disallow American drug companies from offering their products to other countries for discounted prices (and consequently inflating the cost of medicine in America). Canadians, whose government cannot afford drugs unless they are discounted, would likely realize how much their health care system sucks.

Immigrants would have to prove:

A: their human rights were repeatedly violated in their home country, and were likely to continue being violated

B: that they would not be sending their wages out of the country.

I would support Taiwan’s independence from China, and support the growing search for democracy in Iran.

All this on just on my first day as supreme ruler of the United States of America. 

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