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All the News that's Fit to Paris
As a service to our readers, we're translating recent news headlines so even those with the lowest reading level or at least Paris Hilton fans, can understand them.
Snipers recently descended on a holy pilgrimage in Iraq with as much fury as paparazzi swarming on Paris Hilton's posse. At least 20 worshippers were killed, which gives you an idea of how Paris feels when the hateration gropes her hoopty like chimps at a drive-thru safari.
Mormon teens in Utah recently protested in favor of polygamy, which reminds us that both Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton were both seen on the town with Brody Jenner in one week. You think Nicole and Paris shacking up with that Prince of Malibu would be a "Simple Life"? You can be it would be steamier than hot sauce in your eye (really, you just have to see it to believe it).
Israel broached its cease-fire agreement with Lebanon in much the same way that Paris Hilton recently lashed out at Lindsay Lohan. While Israel raided a town in the Bekaa Valley searching for weapons being shipped to Hezbollah from Syria, Paris called Lohan a "Firecrotch." Needless to say, the UN was unhappy about both infractions.
Technorati Tags: Viral Video, Viral Videos, Video, Funny Video, Funny, Humor, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan
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Don't get me started on Paris Hilton. She may be beautiful, but she's as bland as last week's douchwater. Instead of doing highminded things for sick children, the ailing elderly,etc. she makes shallowness an art form. What kind of a common tramp did her parents raise??? I blame them for condoning her disgraceful behavior, her own mother trying to bask in her spotlight by trying her hand at a show that failed miserably, and her Bozo of a father with that stupid smile plastered on his face. I just don't 'get it'!
8/24/06 2:40 AM