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Ko-ercing Mr. Karr
Suspected killer John Mark Karr , may be headed to Colorado to face up to his admission that he was with JonBenet Ramsey when she died, but people are still confused about whether or not he's a cold-blooded killer or just a first-degree creep who desperately wants to be on the cover of People.
Because we at AOL Comedy are concerned about justice being served, we'd like to "offer up" these proven methods of coercion to any legal bodies who might be able to use them. Please be advised, that these methods are only to be considered during interrogation with John Mark Karr, not Johnny Marr (no matter how much you want the Smiths to reunite) The New Cars (so what if the new album is mediocre) or Kim Carnes (even if she needs the press at this time).
If Thailand's latest export, Mr. Karr, won't fess up with the details, start off with the AOL Comedy-approved Stossel Slap, a tried and true method for rattling even the biggest wisenheimers. And if it's good enough for John Stossel, it's good enough for John Karr.
If the old open-hand smack isn't working office furniture may be required to soften him up. Don't forget, there are great sales on lawn furniture this time of year, so don't forget that now's the time to stock up on weapons of minor destruction.
At this point, the lawyers may be whining about you're being too hard on Johnny. So offer to take him out to the playground, maybe for a ride on the seesaw, and make it look like an accident. You've seen enough Sopranos episodes, you know what we mean.
Finally, if nothing else works, try to get him to be a contestant on a Japanese game show. Consider this one, in which a contestant must repeat a tongue twister as fast as possible or get whacked in the … well, you'll see.
No need to thank us. We're happy to be of service to all of the men in blue.
Technorati Tags: Viral Video, Viral Videos, Video, Funny Video, Funny, Humor, John Mark Karr, John Stossel
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