MY JOURNEY

8:56:33 PM PDT
Feeling Hopeful
Hearing Dr. Phil in background

SPRINGTIME MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR. A NEW BEGINING FOR MANY A THING. HELLO TO ALL WHO READ MY JOURNAL.

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9:54:49 AM PST
Feeling Quiet
Hearing THE HUMMING OF THE COMPUTER

I HAVE STAYED AWAY INTENTIONALLY. THINGS ARE NOT ALL THAT WELL. LAST NIGHT MY PARTNER TOOK OFF. HE JUST WALKED IN THIS MORNING ABOUT 10 MINUTES AGO. SAID HE HAD TO DO WHAT HE HAD TO DO. WE HAVE BEEN BICKERING BACK AND FORTH AGAIN FOR THE PAST WEEK. HE HAS BEEN LAYED OFF AGAIN FROM WORK, IM STRESSING, HE'S NOT LOOKING REAL HARD FOR WORK AND IM PISSED!!!!!HE DIDNT CALL ALL NIGHT AND HE DIDNT ANSWER MY PAGES ON HIS CELL PHONE. IM BEEING QUIET. I DONT HAVE MUCH TO SAY. I'LL JUST END WITH A QUOTE FROM A J-LAND FRIEND "YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT TOMORROW MAY BRING" "OH" THE DR PHIL BOOK I GOT BUSY AND DIDNT FOLLOW THROUGH WITH EVERYTHING>I THINK I'D LIKE TO ATTEND ONE OF THE BOOTCAMPS FOR COUPLES. ADIOS

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5:16:05 PM PST
Feeling Happy
Hearing BARRY WHITE, YOU'RE THE FIRST I'VE BEEN SO BUSY LATELY. HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO GO ON THE COMPUTER. THE VALENTINE'S DAY SALE  I PARTICIPATED IN  HAS KEPT ME VERY INVOLVED. JUST WANT TO  WISH ALL MY J-LAND FRIENDS AND READERS A "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!" TO THOSE OF U WHO SENT ME A GREETING THANK U VERY MUCH! I HOPE ALL OF U>>> DO A LOT OF LOVIN (AMOR)TODAY. HASTA LA VISTA!

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11:33:20 PM PST
Feeling Flirtatious
Hearing BARRY WHITE, NEVER GONNA GIVE U UP BABY

WE HAVE BEEN VERY BUSY AROUND HERE LATELY, MY PARTNER AND I. HE HAS BEEN MIXING UP BATCHES OF COOKIE DOUGH TO MAKE COOKIES FOR OUR SALE. I MADE V-CARDS AND BRACELETS, RIBBONS FOR THE HAIR. I WILL BE SELLING HOT DOGS, HOT CHOCOLATE, CAKE CALLED "IS IT REALLY BETTER THAN SEX" I HAVE MADE THIS CAKE BEFORE AND I LOVE IT. GOT RECIPE FROM FOODNETWORK>PAULA DEEN'S COUNTRY COOKING. OF COURSE THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO BE DONE FOR THE SALE BUT I WILL NOT BORE U WITH ALL THE DETAILS. THE THING IS THAT WE HAVE BEEN GETTING ALONG MUCH BETTER>THINGS ARE FLOWING ALONG SMOOTHLY. HE HAS BEEN VERY SWEET LATELY COOKING AND BAKING AND JUST BEING ALL AROUND SWEET. I THINK IM USING THAT WORD TOO MUCH. TOMORROW IS HIS BIRTHDAY HE WILL TURN 41, WONT SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY YET I'LL WAIT TILL TOMORROW.  LOVE IS IN THE AIR(:*

 

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7:45:00 PM PST
Feeling Chillin'
Hearing "MONDAY NIGHT RAW" BACKGROUND

I HAVENT HAD TIME TO BROWZE AROUND IN THE INTERNET AND VISIT OTHER JOURNALS. I FEEL LIKE I AM NEGLECTING THE FRIENDS THAT I HAVE MET IN JOURNAL LAND. COWGIRL I GOT THE CHANCE TO TALK WITH U TODAY IT IS ALWAYS A PLEASURE TALKING ABOUT THE COWS AND EVERYTHING. LICICIOUS, IM GLAD THINGS ARE GOING WELL WITH U, U SOUND SO POSITIVE THESE DAYS. LILSNAPPER HOPE TO HEAR FROM U SOON. POOKIE HOPE ALL IS WELL. I DONT WANT TO MENTION ANYMORE DO TO PRIVACY. I WILL CONTACT U TO THANK U FOR EVERYTHING. I REALLY ENJOY READING EVERYONES JOURNALS>ITS MIND BOGGLING HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE THE SAME THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS>WE ARE ALL HUMANS NO MATTER WHAT RACE OR GENDER>WE ALL HURT THE SAME AND BEST OF ALL WE ALL LOVE THE SAME.

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7:46:50 PM PST
Feeling Happy
Hearing LARRY KING BACKGROUND, STROKES

I WOKE UP TO THE SMELL OF FRESHLY BAKED OATMEAL-RAISIN-WALNUT-COCONUT COOKIES THIS MORNING. MYPARTNER GOT UP EARLY TO BAKE COOKIES FOR ME. IS THAT SWEET OR WHAT? I FEEL LIKE HE IS REALLY TRYING TO GET THINGS RIGHT AGAIN. I FEEL CARED FOR . SOMETHING I HAVENT FELT IN THE LAST 10 MONTHS. I AM STILL TAKING IT ONE DAY AT A TIME I DO NOT WANT TO GET MY HOPES UP TOO HIGH>I WOULD HATE TO BE GROSELY LET DOWN!

ONE THING THAT DIDNT LET ME DOWN WAS THE TASTE OF THE COOKIES THEY WERE AS GOOD AS THEY SMELLED>THANKS BABE!

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11:07:56 PM PST
Feeling Happy
Hearing NEWS BACKGROUND, EXECUTION IN SAN QUENTIN

I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE ALL OVER THE USA THAT DONT KNOW ME AND HAVE NEVER MET ME, YET THEY WISH ME WELL. THANKS TO ALL OF U WHO HAVE GIVEN ME UR SUPPORT!

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11:13:04 PM PST
Feeling Chillin'
Hearing 20/20 IN BACKGROUND,BARBARA WALTERS

IT'S BEEN A FEW DAYS SINCE I HAVE EXPRESSED ANYTHING HERE IN THE JOURNAL. I MADE A POINT OF STAYING AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER.MY PARTNER AND I WERE TITTER-TOTTERING IN THE ARGUING DEPARTMENT. WE MADE UP AND THEN A WRONG WORD WOULD SPARK RAGE!!! VOICES GOT LOUD WORDS THAT CUT DEEP WERE YELLED BACK!!! BUT I DID'NT LEAVE AND HE DID'NT LEAVE. HE APOLOGIZED, I ACCEPTED HIS APOLOGY, WE KISSED AND MADE UP.IS THAT SICK OR WHAT???? FOR MEANTIMEITISPEACE............................................

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7:46:26 PM PST
Feeling Loopy
Hearing ELVIS MOVIE"CLAM BAKE" BACKGROUND

THE END OF THE WEEK IS HERE. I FINALLY FOUND A MOMENT TO WRITE AGAIN. I HAD TO LAY OFF OF IT FOR A WHILE. #1, I HAVE BEEN BUSY GETTING A FLIER DONE FOR A CRAFTS SALE THAT I WILL BE INVOLVED IN AND #2 WHICH IS THE GREATEST REASON IS "JUST TAKE A BREAK" FROM WRITING SO MUCH NEGATIVE FEELINGS ABOUT MY LIFE. I TOLD MY PARTNER THAT I FELT LIKE I WAS WALLOWING IN LIMBO IF THAT MAKES ANY SENSE. IM ALSO READING DR PHIL'S BOOK , RELATIONSHIP RESCUE, . I WILL TRY RECONNECTING WITH MY CORE. GET MYSELF TOGETHER BEFORE I TELL ANYONE ELSE TO MAKE CHANGES. I'VE BEEN TAKING THE PROFILE TESTS AND I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH IT HAS HELPED ME TO GET BACK ON TRACK.WE R BOTH WORKING ON SAVING OUR RELATIONSHIP AND WE WANT IT TO WORK. MY PARTNER TURNED THE COMPUTER AROUND. CAN U BELIEVE THAT. IT WAS A GREAT GESTURE IN HOPES OF MENDING WHAT WAS HANGING ON BY A THREAD. AND I MEAN THREAD. I WENT SILENT FOR SEVERAL DAYS. I DID NOT WANT TO DISCUSS ANYTHING>>>MY MIND, AND SOUL COULDN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE>>>IT' LIKE A MENTAL ILLNESS>>A VIRUS, THAT OVER TAKES UR MIND. "I DON' T WANT TO TALK ABOUT NOTHING, I DONT WANT TO KNOW NOTHING!!!!""LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE........BITCH!!!" THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT SILENCE THAT MAKES PEOPLE RISE TO THE OCCASSION!>>>>MEANING MY PARTNER DECIDED TO BE MORE COOPERATIVE AND MAKE CHANGES THAT WILL BETTER THINGS AROUND HERE, INSTEAD OF THIS PLACE LOOKING AND FEELING LIKE A LIFELESS,COLD,DEPRESSING HOLE THAT KEPT GETTING DEEPER AND DEEPER AND DARKER AND DARKER!!!WHAT I WILL DO NOW IS LOOK ON THE UP AND UP. BELIEVE THAT THINGS CAN GET BETTER>>NOT ON THEIR OWN, BUT WITH A LOT OF HARD WORK. "WHAT DO I CONTRIBUTE TO THIS RELATIONSHIP?" "WHAT HAVE I ALLOWED AND AM I CREATING CERTAIN BEHAVIORS  FROM MY PARTNER TO CONTINUE?"

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11:27:58 PM PST
Feeling Happy
Hearing A CHANGE IS GOING TO COME,ELVIS

"HAPPY NEW YEAR, FELIZ ANO NUEVO TO ALL" 2005 MAY GOD BLESS AMERICA THIS COMING YEAR!

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