Astra's New Journal

5:09:25 PM EDT
Feeling Confused

"?" returned  the 4th July. He was telling me all about his holiday in Dorset and the marvelous views and places he had seen.

"ST" came round on the Saturday. "?" and "ST" chatted for quite sometime. In the afternoon "A" came by to collect "ST" as they were going to Southend for the rest of the day with "E" ( "A" girlfriend "E" who is about to give birth next week) and "J".  "A" waved to me and said hello from the car ( he did'nt come in ) i waved back. "?" wasn't too happy with me for acknowledging him though and "?" said a few words to me about it which made me feel bad for the rest of the day and evening. I don't know how this situation with "A" and "?" will end up. "SH" phoned me in the evening to tell me that "Z" has to wear glasses as she is short sighted ( like me and "SH" )

I booked my appointment at the hairdressers to have my hair re-styled in three weeks time so that its done for my holiday inAugust.

Last Wednesday, i went along to the GP for a new prescription for my Asthma which has'nt been too bad lately thank-goodness! I've been really lucky these last few of years with not going to and fro to the hospital for medical attention. I started taking Spiriva inhalation powder again because the pollen has been so high lately and i started to feel wheezy at times. I'm ok now that i'm back on my meds. I try not to have them all the time, because i might need them more so in the future. I've been rather stressed out with worry this last week what with one thing or another

I've been having problems with my computer, it keeps freezing and i've had to close down quite a lot lately, which is getting on my nerves.

"SH" phoned me yesterday, to let me know that "A" had been arrested on Monday and has been refused bail when he appeared in court yesterday and he was sent to Birmingham on remand untill 16th August. I hav'nt heard from "A" at all...No-one will be able to visit him there ( personally, i think the prisons are too flippin' easy going and there should be some kind of hard labour introduced to fit the crimes, then maybe, people would think twice about doing wrong. And i think hanging should be brought back for the really bad crimes that we hear of daily )

"L" is taking "ST" and "J" to Gt.Yarmouth Saturday week the 26th for 1 weeks holiday. I hope the weather will be ok for them.

I got a letter from my server SKY and it seems they are going to put the cost of my subsciption up in September, so i'm not sure what to do as yet, whether to stay or go else where.

Well, that all my news of late. I'm going to watch Lewis now on ITV3...All my Best Wishes to one and all and Take Care!

    

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3:58:33 PM EDT

Not much has happened lately. "ST" came round last Saturday for the day and Tuesday and Thursday after his school work was done. He is getting on well with his school work.

We hav'nt seen or heard of "A" at all for quite sometime now. I've spoken to "SH" a couple of times on the phone, she said "A" is ok. I think about "A" everyday wondering how he is and if hes ok.

"?" is still having up and down problems with his health, Fibromyalgia,Bipolar,Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. All this can be a nightmare at times esspecially for "?" and for me too.

"?" has gone away for a few days. I am in my element with my solitude, i know that sounds terrible, but i need to have some time to myself too so i can unwind and relax with no-one to tell me what and when i can do things ect...

Today, i hav'nt done anything, just sat and read some of my book CRACKDOWN by Bernard Cornwell. Its a thriller set in the real world of international crime. (Readers Digest hard-back)  Then i came online for a while. I hav'nt been online for a few days because, i could'nt hold my concentration and found myself just staring at the screen. I've been like that for quite sometime and i lose interest quickly, plus i've had a few painful headaches. Tomorrow, i will have to knuckle down and do some chores as i hav'nt done anything today.

 

Wroxham Norfolk Broads

I'm looking forward to my holiday in August, we're going to Gorleston part of Gt. Yarmouth. "?" and i will be taking "ST" and "Z" and hopefully "J". I know they are all looking forward to our hols too. I hav'nt mentioned it to "J" at all incase she can't come, because i would'nt want to upset her. I will leave that up to "L" and "A" incase it causes friction between "A" and us...its a tricky situation. as "J" mostly stays with "A" at the weekends.

 

 

 

 

 

Wednesday last i went into Romford and bought myself a few tops for my holiday from the market. Its very rare for me to go out and buy clothes for myself, i normally buy one or two things from my catologue and i make them clothes last for years. I've still yet to buy a couple of more clothes and a pair of shoes.

While i was at Romford i went along to Maplin's to buy a pressure aerosol and an anti-static wrist strap to hook onto the computer tower when i clean out the computer so as i don't damage the components in the tower or i won't have a computer left at all. I will clean out the tower sometime this week while its quite. I think i will delete a lot of stuff too as i hav'nt got a lot of computer memory left.

Well, thats all my news for now. I hope your all keeping well and i hope you all have a great weekend...Best Wishes to one and all.

 

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5:17:17 PM EDT
Feeling Cheerful

I had already wrote an entry on Monday, but for some reason it was lost when i tried to save it, so hopefully this one will save.

Last week i had someone round from the council to fix in a new fire alarm. The workman had a young boy with him who was on a  work experience course. When the workman went out to his van to get something the boy asked me if i lived here on my own. Well, alarm bells rang in my head. I said, no my husband and children live with me, he poked his head around the door of my lounge and spotted "?" sitting in there. The boy did'nt say another word. When the workman came back in he sent the boy upstairs to take out all the light bulbs, which made me feel more uneasy. After they had left i went to check on things upstairs to make sure nothing had been disturbed...all was ok. I said to "?" that i should ring the council to let them know what the boy had said. "?" i should'nt worry about it, so i did'nt ring them.

I was looking at holidays online last week and decided we should have a few days away, so i've booked a week at Gt Yarmouth in August. "?" and i will be taking "ST" and "Z" with us and hopefully "J" too. So, now we are all looking forward our hols and hope the weather will be ok too!

"?" has been feeling better than he has been of late, but with a few up and down moments. He's been doing a couple of the jobs around the house that he needed too finish off this week.

I hav'nt seen or heard from "A" for a couple of weeks now. I chatted too "SH" on the phone for a while last night and she said he was ok.

Well, thats all my news for now, so i'm off to browse for a while before i settle down to watch TV...Best wishes to you all.

 

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10:52:38 AM EDT
Feeling Quiet

with thanx to missie for this sweet graphic...

Hello to all my readers and i hope you've all been keeping well and had a great holiday weekend. My weekend has been quite so far, all i've done is a couple of chores and watched TV as normal.

The last few weeks have been busy. I've been helping "?" by tidying up while decorating the hallway, up too last Monday that is untill "A" had one of his outbursts.

I hav'nt said much about "A" in my last couple of entries. "?" and i thought we would let him gain strength after his ordeal and without anyone knowing of his where abouts. All was ok for the first 2 weeks, then last Sunday he got a threatening text message from the person who had stabbed him. Last Monday when "A" came by, "?" asked "A" how did it come about that he was stabbed, all was still ok and "?" was talking normal (nicely)to him, then "?" mentioned a couple of things too him and all hell let loose. "A" went mad with rage and verbal abuse towards "?". "?" was sitting in his chair and "A" lent over to him  and put his  face in "?" face in an intimidating way and he was so patronizing towards him. God knows whats wrong with "A". As "A" left, he shouting abuse, slammed the door shut and sped away in his car in temper. He did'nt say anything bad to me at all, but he just might as well have done, because i felt anger towards him. We hav'nt seen or heard of "A" all this week, so i don't know whats happened to him since. I know he still has to go to the hospital about his kidney... I don't understand "A" at all, because there was nothing said that could have upset him...he just turned on apenny!

"?" has'nt been too well lately, so he has'nt finished off the decorating in the hallway yet. The outburst from "A" did'nt do him any good at all. "?" has been resting all week as he has felt so depressed and within himself.

I too have been under the weather. I've been feeling down in myself with chiari related symptoms. My hands have been numb with pain esspecially my right hand which has been cramping/twisting up and i've had a couple of severe pressure headaches and i've had a foggy brain for a couple of days. I'm feeling ok now though!

"SH" phoned in the week. Its the first i've heard from her for a few weeks now. She and "Z" have gone too "ASH" her friend at Maldon in Essex for a few days, not sure when she will be back though.

Friday, "?" and i were disgussing where too go during the summer hols. We have decided too go for days out. We thought we might go to Brighton one day and a couple of other places that we've never been too as well...hopefully, that is if nothing stops us (healthwise). As we hav'nt been too some of the place we want to go too, we bought one of those sat navs. I found it complicated myself, but "ST" knew how to work it straight away. "?" and "ST" went on short trips around this area and it works fine, so we're all set for summer...lol.

Last night i watched Pearl Harbour. I know its been on TV before, but i hav'nt seen it myself as i have to be in the right mood for certain films. I thought it was a good film and so well put together.

Well, i'm off now to watch some TV before "?" returns a bit later...Best wishes to you all and take care and i hope you all have a good week ahead of you.

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6:40:25 PM EDT
Feeling Quiet

with thanx to Chris for this lovely graphic...

Hi everyone! I haope you all had a lovely holiday weekend and this week has been good for you.

"A" is getting better, slow but sure. He is still only eating sloppy foods or cut up tiny portions as he can't eat much really, he has also lost quite a lot of weight and he is using crutches to help him get around. He has to go to another hospital to see a specialist sometime this month about the opperation on his kidney as he has got a blood clot where the vestles or vesicles(something like that)have been severed...I can't tell you any more than that for obvious reasons.

 "ST" was here yesterday for the afternoon, he was helping "?" sawing a bit of wood for my cupboard in the hallway. Today, "?" finished the cupboard and stained the wood and doors of the cupboard so it matches my hallway doors, all it needs now is a door handle and its all done.

The faulty washing machine i had stuck in my kitchen waiting for collection was picked up yesterday and today the replacement one came, but i refused delivery for that one and they took it away again. Tuesday, i phoned Hotpoint to stop them from delivering, but the driver said no-one had told him. I'm pleased that i've got more room in my tiny kitchen again.

"?" and i have tried to keep ourselves busy this week, but "?" has been having Bipolar moments here and there which makes me feel like i'm walking on egg-shells half the time when he gets these mood swings.This thing going on with "A" has'nt helped either.

We hav'nt heard from "SH" at all this week. Nothing much else has happened too mention, so i will leave it here and i hope you all have a great weekend...Best Wishes to you all.

                                      Astra!

 

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4:29:24 PM EDT
Feeling Worried

Hi everyone, i hav'nt been online for a couple of days as i've been busy and too tired.

I'm afraid i can't tell you too much about "A" for obvious reasons. All i can say is hes slowly on the mend and he has to go to another hospital to see a specialist about his kidney as there is definetly a blood-clot on the kidney where the vestles are( not sure if i've got the right word here) have been severed. He was told the other hospital will do the opperation... He's ok at the moment and as well as can be and resting.

This has been such a worrying time for us and to be honest i don't think the worry will ever go away.

My cousin Margaret's funeral was Friday afternoon. I was told she had 200 followers. The funeral went well (as well as funerals go that is.) The funeral was relayed too Canada where her sister "F" lives whom i have mentioned before in previous entries.

Myself, i went along to my appointment on Friday to get my lump investigated. After i had the mammogram and ultra-sound i had to see the consultant. He told me i am alright, but i've to go back in 4 weeks time to see if there is any change. I'm not sure what to thinkabout that...is it something or nothing? still, i've been told i'm ok, so i must be!

As for my washing machine, i was told i've to wait for another 2 weeks for it to be delivered. Well, "?" repaired my old one and reinstalled it, so when the new one arrives, i will refuse delivery and  they can take it back and the faulty one thats stuck in my kitchen too...enough is enough!

"?" has'nt had time to finish off the cupboard in the hallway as other things have got in the way which needed to be done sooner rather then later.

Well, i hav'nt got any more news to tell. I hope your all having a great holiday weekend and i hope you all have a good week ahead of you. Best Wishes to you all...

           Astra!

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6:21:38 PM EDT
Feeling Worried

with thanx to Donna for this lovely graphic...

Thank-you again for your lovely comments concerning my son "A". I have been in contact with him by phone twice a day, i've also phoned the nurses reception 6am each morning to see if he was alright.

Monday night he was'nt doing too well. "A" told me the Drs were waiting for the bruising go down and sent him for another cat-scan. I had a tearful day and evening as i was so worried for him and still am. Tuesday, "A" was sent for another cat-scan, later he was given his first meal, he had 2 spoonfuls of soup and could'nt eat any more. Today when i phoned he sounded better than he had been, his voice is back to normal, he had another cat-scan this afternoon. The Dr told him that he is still beeding inside and it looks like its coming from the kidney, he also has damage to his intestines, too what extent we don't know yet and . "A" said he thinks the Dr said something about an opperation tomorrow or Friday and the opperation would be tricky,they also want to get his blood pressure down. "A" was told they had to wait for the swelling to go down so they could see exactly what needs to be done and all they could do is keep an eye on him and help him with meds (morphine) to ease the pain.

"?" has been keeping busy building a wall cupboard in my hallway to hide my electric meter which is coming along nicely (hes still having his up and down moments) and he only needs to get the sliding doors and its all finished. We've been trying to find some paint for the doors upstairs near enough to match the teak doors downstairs, i did'nt think it would be so hard to find the  right colour. We think we would have to get a colour made up (mix n match)

I hav'nt done much this week, just clearing up after "?" and a little vacuuming here and there. I will be glad when all the decorating is ended so i can get back to normal chores.

I hav't heard any more about the faulty washing machine being collected and replaced, i think i will get on to them tomorrow. The leak has been repaired today, it was coming from the pipe from the bath within the outer wall.

"ST" was here today, he came round after his tutor had left. He told us he has got high marks for his school work. He loves to learn and i'm pleased for him that hes got good marks.

I hav'nt got anything more to tell you, so i will leave it here...Best Wishes to one and all.

with thanx to Donna for this beautiful siggy...

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4:50:38 PM EDT
Feeling Worried

I think this is one of Sugars beautiful graphics, but i can't read the siggy...with thanx!

Thank-you so much for all your comments, it is much appreciated...I rang the hospital a few times during the night. At one point "A" had to have more meds to make him comfortable as he was in a lot of pain, the other couple of times i rang he was sleeping. This afternoon "?" and i went along to visit "A". When we got there his friend "E" was there, she was with him when "A" got stabbed (thats another story) The knife that was used was a long kitchen knife. The knife had just missed his right kidney, but damaged the vestles to the kidney. He had a cat scan yesterday and another this afternoon half hour before when we arrived it was 3:30pm. The scan is to make sure the blood clot had not moved as it could go to the heart or the brain. The left side of his face is battered and bruised and he has a small knife mark around his neck where one of the men tried to cut his throat.

"A" told us what had happened and why and names of the people who where involved, but i can't write about it here for obvious reasons. All i can tell you is it was'nt "A" who caused the trouble..."A" is lucky to be alive. I'm still worried about him because he's not out of danger yet.

Later, "SH" phoned "A" (he has a phone/TV/Radio next to his bed...all the mod-cons) to find out what the cat scan showed and when they are too opperate, this was around 6:30pm, but he had'nt heard anything yet.

Its the first time i've been in thewards of the new hospital, as i said before theres a phone/TV/Radio at the side of each bed. The TV costs £3.50p per day. For me to phone "A" it would cost me 20p per minute. I know its expensive, but to speak to someone you care about, i think it is worth it just to keep in touch and feel closer. I hav't used that phone yet, i have only phoned the ward phone.

Thats all the news i have at the moment, i will let you know of any more developments when i know more...Best Wishes to you all.

 

 

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4:53:11 PM EDT
Feeling Worried

with thanx to Donna for this lovely graphic...

This week has had its ups and downs again, more downs than ups. "?" has finished painting the hallway, only a couple of odds and ends still to do. "A" came by Monday afternoon to let us know that he has to appear in court again in  4 months time.

I went along to see my GP on Tuesday about a lump i had found and he refered me to hospital. In the afternoon i got a phone call from my Aunt "D" she told me my cousin "M" had passed away Monday night. I then started to think about my own situation which made me feel a bit anxious for a while, but i soon calmed myself down. I got my appoinment letter today for screening which is for next Friday 2/5/08 at King Georges Hospital.

Still no news of my replacement washing machine, i will have to give them ring about it on Monday.

The men  from the council came to fix the leaking pipe and they found another leak which they said they would report it for me, i think i will ring up about that too, to make sure its been reported. A surveyor was supposed to have come from the council the same day, but he never turned up...No change there wth the council.

I thought i would leave this to last as i was'nt sure whether to write about it or not, but i've got to lighten the weight and get it off my chest as i'm worried about what has happened to "A"... "L" phoned me this morning with disturbing news of "A" . 4 men had falsefully stopped his car and smashed all the windows in with baseball bats then dragged him from the car and beat him up stamped on his head and stabbed "A" in the back which just missed his kidney. This happened last night, he is in hospital. He had internal bleeding which the Drs had stopped ( something mentioned about clotting, not sure wht it means ) and he will be having a cat-scan and an opperation tomorrow. My daughter "SH" went to visit him this afternoon, she said hes in a bad way and sedated. I don't know what has led to this to have happened as yet, theres probably more to this than what we've been told. God, i do hope he will be alright. You hear about this kind of thing happening to other people, but when it happens to your own, it feels like your in a dream or something. What ever it is they were out to kill him. This happened in our area close to home. I was told the police had taken the 4 men to the police station from the scene of the incedent.

This is the worst day of our lives, i would rather "A" be back in prison than whats happened to him now. I don't know if "?" will be around for the day tomorrow, i know we will go to visit him if he is.

Best Wishes to you all...   

 

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10:25:00 AM EDT
Feeling Quiet

Hi Everyone...

I hope your all keeping well. I tried to forward the Angel message which i received from Jan-Serendapity today, but it came back to me, when i tried to send and i could'nt resend. I think it was because i added a couple of addresses that was'nt recognised.

I have been quite busy these last few weeks helping "?" decorating, well, making tea and clearing up. "ST" has been here all week too helping "?" doing the painting in the Hallway. I had someone from the council here last week about my kitchen wall where the water is coming through. The water is coming from the outside and penetrating the wall from the bathroom waste-pipe which has been repaired, but am still waiting for the down pipe from the bathroom to be replaced. Once that wall is dried out it can be painted again.

"?"  is still having his ups and down moments and i've had pressure pains in my head and neck (chiari) and other aches and pains that go with chiari last week, i think its because i've been lifting things and bending while helping "?".

"Z" has been here a couple of days during the week. Tuesday was my birthday and "Z" was pampering me. She would'nt let me wash-up after dinner. She made me sit down and she done all the washing-up bless her! In the morning i bought some cakes for all of us for later. Anyway, later in the afternoon "Z" came in the lounge with a doughnut with 2 candles on the plate...lol. It was so cute and she had drawn little banners and stuck them on the walls and doors. "?","Z" and "ST" had planned this between them while out in the garden earlier. I had no idea they were doing this, i must say  i did enjoy my day. "A" came by with "L" and "J" for while earlier.

"Z" and "ST" were here yesterday for the day, "?" left early and "L" came to pick "ST" up and took "Z" home too as she lives close by her.

I ordered a new washing machine from my catologue last week, it arrived Thursday. When "?" opened the door up all the rubber inside was ruffled up and it looked like it had been used, so i phoned the catologue and they are arranging for a replacement to be sent out this week.

I spent last Sunday with Aunt "D" she is a lot better now and it was nice to spend time with her. She was telling me about my cousin "M" who is seriously ill, which i mentioned in my last entry. I'm not going to go on about it as it makes me feel down as well as my readers.

Well, thats all my news for now and i hope you have all had a great weekend and i hope this following week will be good for you all...Best Wishes to you all.

                                                                       

 

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