Et cetera

10:00:21 AM CST

So, it's not merely a passive return to the journals, as you can see.  I actually have something to say here, believe it or not!

I would say I'm sorry for my extended absence, but . . . I'm not.  I lost interest in my AOL journal for the longest time, and who knows?  Could happen again tomorrow.  We'll see.  One day at a time, I suppose.  That said, let's move on to the purpose of the entry.

The following is what I wrote in my journal at home the other day:

Firstly, I don't believe in love at first sight.  Love is something that grows on you, and involves knowing a person.  How they react to the world around them, what they like or dislike, the way they think, the way they approach people and conversations.

You love a person.  You lust a body.

So love is something you have for the inside of a person.  Shouldn't that mean you can fall "in love" with anyone over the internet?  I think to be "in love" with someone you also have to have chemistry.  I love my friend JT at work, but I'm not "in love" with him.  I love his self, his personality, even his dark wit, but I don't lust after him at all.  Difference between Clint and JT?  Lust.

And looking at someone's photo is not enough to incur that lust, IMO.  There've been plenty of people in my life who I thought were sexy, but I just didn't feel any urge to get sexual with them.

For example, I think Matthew McCaughnehey is incredibly sexy (even if he is blonde!), but if I met him in person I probably wouldn't even consider jumping in the sack with him.  His age would be a serious turn-off, if nothing else.

Furthermore, I think lust and like share equally important roles when referring to romantic love.  Neither is more important to have than the other, since they both have to be present.

Another problem is we change over the internet.  When we type, we have more reaction time than when we speak.  There's no backspace on our vocal chords; we can't call our words back.  Online, we present only the side of ourselves that we want to be seen, and this is often our most attractive or our most abrasive side.  Either way, it's misleading.  Worse, we often do so unintentionally, which smooths the lie and makes it easier to believe.

Even if we were more transparent to others online, the other person will never see you grouchy and taciturn in the early mornings, or do that cheesy victory dance after winning Monopoly.

Then there's perspective.  The problem is, you're only getting theirs.  Almost everything is a matter of perspective.  So when they tell you they don't drink much, they may be honest.  How do you know, though, that their idea of "not much" is the same as yours?  And don't forget that his side of the story is just that:  his side.  You will never witness first-hand how he handles real-life situations or understand the other party's motivations.

I suppose that in writing all this down, I've answered my own question.  I think you can find a person attractive in their chosen photos, and I think you can love a person and his personality--at least the persona you can see online.  But I don't think you can truly lust after anyone, and if you met the person in question in actual life, there's a good chance you're going to discover things about them that turn you off to their character.  So, is falling romantically in love with someone via the 'net possible?  I don't think so, though I can easily see how that illusion could be cast.

I think there can be an initial sense of attraction via the web, and it could possibly be worth pursuing.  Hell, I've felt attracted to people I've met on the internet, but I always dismiss the feeling.  Besides, what else can be done when living hundreds, or even thousands, of miles away?

-Ave

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9:05:07 AM CST

"Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be."

-Ave

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9:55:15 AM CDT

Now, don't laugh too hard, but . . .

I am going to the mall to be with myself and not have a little one to tug around, or a husband to insist I'm taking too long looking at stuff I don't intend to buy.

I worked last night, and I have to work tonight, but you know what?  I think I'm willing to suffer on three hours of sleep for this precious time alone.  It's going to be awesome-amazing!

I just thought about it while I was catching up in Robert's journal.  Kickass, off I go!

-Ave

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9:47:31 AM CDT

So, I was FINALLY going to start my booty project today--and then I realized my digi-cam is NOT HERE.  It's at Clint's grandparents' house.  We had put it in the diaper bag, and Zack went to his great-grandparents' for the weekend.  So no digi-cam!

There's no telling when I'll feel like starting it again, but I wanted you all to know that I WAS going to do it today . . . honest.

The birthday was laid back and fun.  I went to see Failure to Launch, the new Matthew McCaughnehey movie with Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Bates.  It had a lot of laughs and was a generally great movie.  Some surprises and such--total chick flick, you guys would hate it.

Anyhow, not much else is cookin' at the moment, so I'm out for now--until I can start that damned experiment.

Holla.

-Ave

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2:28:39 AM CDT

Yes, that is exactly how you spell "Avril."

No, I haven't been "too busy."  The idea of being too busy to write is ridiculous at best.

I just haven't felt the urge to update my journal.  Until now, that is!  As I've been courteous enough to remind all my friends, my birthday is in a mere eight days.  This is IT.  The biggest, bestest day of the entire year.  The day when all attention is focused on Avril.  The day when kids around the world come together and sing in harmony.

Well, all of it's true except that last part.

But really, it is a rather wonderful day.

In other news, I WILL be restarting the Booty Experiment soon--I know I'm behind on that.  But I'll get to it.  I may even do it tomorrow if I feel like it, who knows?  I'll need to reread my old notes and see how I wanted to conduct it, and if I decide to make any changes, I'll let you all know.

Also, as an early birthday gift from Clint, I received a digital camera!  I have been goo-gooing over those forever, and I'm thrilled to finally own one.  What does this mean for you?  It could possibly mean more pictures of--well, everything.  I may even grace you all with before and after pictures for the experiment, if I'm feeling froggy enough.  We'll see.

And finally, I've chosen a new quote of the moment to leave you all on:

"In the lives of children, pumpkins can turn into coaches, mice and rats into human beings.  When we grow up, we learn that it's far more common for human beings to turn into rats." - Gregory Maguire's Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister.

-Ave

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9:09:58 AM CST

Sorry, I just remembered that Jeff Foxworthy joke . . . "If you have ever been accused of lying through your tooth, you might be a redneck."

Anyway, the whole reason I used that as a title was . . . Zachary has finally got his first tooth!  This is an exciting moment for me.  He pulled my finger into his mouth about a week ago, and I noticed the sharpness just under his lower gums, and yesterday I was checking the progress, and it's already protruding above the gum now.  I'm so excited.  He hasn't really been showing signs of teething, which I know is a really good thing for me.  Teething is awfully painful, as I'm told, but my baby's a little trooper.

Anyway, thought I'd share.

Soon to come . . . I'm reestablishing the Booty Experiment within the next couple of weeks, so be on the lookout for updates.

-Ave

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7:59:44 AM CST

I think perhaps the whole "chivalry" bit about men opening doors for women started with men wanting to watch a woman's behind as she walked in front of him.  Just a theory.

-Ave

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8:57:43 AM CST

Okay, just as a bit of a disclaimer, if you are already offended just from the title, please stop reading this, because my humor--yes, HUMOR--is just going to offend you further.

Now that THAT'S out of the way, onto my essay.

I got to thinking last night at work:  what is God but an imaginary friend?  And this stemmed off into several different thoughts.

Going along with this imaginary friend bit, don't you find it odd that this is the ONE imaginary friend we can have as adults and not be looked at strangely for admitting it?  Further still, the largest percentage of Americans are either Christian or Catholic and fully EXPECT other people to share this imaginary friend.  Kinda like a community drink, only not, you know?

People also gather to WORSHIP this imaginary friend, as he created the ENTIRE universe, they say, and speak to him on a regular basis.  Out loud.  In the privacy of their homes, on the road, wherever.  Just random times during the day.  And they fully expect this imaginary friend to provide for them, but refuse to believe he'd be a backstabber and cause some misery, too.  No, for that these people have invented an arch nemesis for their imaginary friend, Satan.

Go figure.  Think about it for yourself.  The more you think about the things people do about this imaginary friend, the more you'll laugh.  I guarantee it.  And THEN, my friend (real life, not imaginary) has a cat named Jesus (it's a she).  Now put the two together and you have one helluva combination.  I nearly went into giggling fits at work, but couldn't tell any of my Christian co-workers for fear of offending their religion.

And yes, I'm half serious, considering.

-Ave

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8:44:41 AM CST

I decided to get it all out in one really big rush.  Besides, I had entries in my latest ten from NOVEMBER, and I just couldn't have that.  So, onto the quotes of great wisdom for today:

"Someday your prince will come.  Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions." - Unknown

And keeping in stride of the entry two down:

"Fortune knows we scorn her most when most she offers blows." - William Shakespeare

And in celebration of Valentine's Day:

"The heart has reasons that reason does not understand." - Jacques Benigne Bossuel

-Ave

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8:39:29 AM CST

Yes, "thoughts" with an "s."

I think men are attracted to me mostly because I seem sweet and innocent, and I bring out that protective instinct.  And I don't necessarily mean "attracted" in a sexual way, either.  I mean attracted to me in general.

How come we call people "roommates?"  Aren't they generally dorm mates, housemates, apartment mates, or some such?  Why don't we just call them "livingmates?"

And finally . . .

"Yo."  I love that word.

-Ave

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