Many Go; Few Understand

Wednesday, May 11, 2005 America loves award shows. We love to see celebrities dressed to the nines strolling down the red carpet as wonder if they boning the bat with their dates. As a result, the entertainment landscape is littered with countless shows that claim to celebrate greatness. However, at this blog that was almost named “Boning My Bat,” no pretense of that sort is ever made with our awards. In fact here, we celebrate nothing and usually mock those deserving because this forum is about social change. It is no coincidence that the arrest records of professional athletes have shrunk considerably since this blog introduced awards like “STD”.

Today, we have a new award, The Kellen Winslow Jr. Driving School Certificate, which is given to those whose extreme arrogance allows them to do something really stupid. This is not to be confused with the Brian Anderson Laundry Pass, which is an award for doing something plain stupid like trying to iron your shirt while still wearing it (this week recipient is the bozo who decided that interrupting Spring Training for World Cup baseball would be a good idea). No, the Winslow Jr. Driving Certificate is reserved for those who think they are larger than the game they play. This ego eventually leads to a fall, and we are there to laugh.

Since Kellen has this new award named after him, he can’t be a recipient, even though he is more than deserving for crashing his itty-bitty bike. The putz was riding a chick bike, a bright Suzuki that no real man would even dream of riding. Winslow showed he could handle the girlie bike about as well as he can handle passes in the NFL. Plus, the shrub he landed on was the first think he knocked down since he signed a pro contract.

Since baseball players are a rather dumb lot in general, it shouldn’t be long before one wins the Winslow Driving Certificate.


bads85 at 12:41:00 PM EDT Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this

This entry has 4 comments: (Add your own)

• #4 Comment from pugloversd 
  4/1/06 2:51 PM | Permalink

  Winslow likes to beat up little kids to a pulp too.  The boy I know ended up with
  multiple surgeries and a crushed face.  Winslow was such an idiot he had his friends video tape the incident. Daddy bought him out  of trouble with the law and off he went to Miami.  Miami knew of this horrible situation but wanted Winslow's
  butt for football notwithstanding this act of violence perpetrated on a young man
  from Scripps Ranch in San Diego.
  He was 18 at the time but he still has not grown up and Daddy is still buying him
  off.
• #3 Comment from cocoabuttalove85 
  1/29/06 1:38 AM | Permalink

  As i was going through the K2 search results i came upon this one and after reading the little paragraph all i have to say is ... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG YOU??????? yea K2 has made some stupid mistakes that he will learn from with the guidance from his father the Hall of famer, but right now kellen is still a very young man who needs to experience life just like everyone else only his life is magnified ten times more cause hes a celeb. hes not fuckin perfect and neither are u so stop hatin and wishin for someones downfall and get a life!!!! He will be back this year. keep ya head up kells!
• #2 Comment from bads85Entry Author 
  5/12/05 12:16 PM | Permalink

  Smith is disqualified for the Winslow Driving Certificate because he was awared the Rex Hudler Good Traveler Badge, which goes to any idiot busted with drug "tools" in an airport.
• #1 Comment from arranwen1 
  5/11/05 8:46 PM | Permalink

  Can I nominate Onterrio Smith?