5:25:31 PM PDT
As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel.. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.
This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company.
SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW.
SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management.
This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).
Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.
If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment).
As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.
Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our:
Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We take pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor.
Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the SHIT you can handle.
And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.
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11:39:05 AM PDT
Another day....another call from the doctor. Seems the blood test results came in and he's more perplexed on why this one enzyme is higher than it should be. He's ruled out liver so now he wants me to go in for a bone scan at the nuclear medicine place sometime next week. Ah, the joys of getting older and having your body fall apart on you hahaha Don't know what he's looking for and not too sure I really want to know until he finds out. No need in worrying more than I have to.
My advice to all those young enough to hear me. Take better care of yourself now before it comes back to haunt you! Growing old just isn't as we imagined it to be. BUT I'm still thankful to be as old as I am since I've always had this feeling of not getting the chance to grow old at all. Hahaha I remember when I didn't think I'd make it to 25. Ah yes, modern medicine can prolong life. It's just a good thing that we have some control of the quality in which we live it. You know, I've always loved and that has made all the difference. I truly feel hate and anger takes some of our life force and with it, some of the meaning of life. It's because of love that I refuse to give up and will always fight to live longer..now where's the pain pills? hehehe
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1:32:18 PM PDT
Well, the ordeal is over with or should I say at least the wearing of the heart monitor for 24 hours. It was simple enough after having hair scraped off to attach the electrodes...well most of it anyway. The rest came off when I pulled them off. Hahaha Sleep wasn't all that easy for I was afraid of pulling them off and having to do it all over again. That and I didn't want to roll over on the actual monitor that I had on my side. Now it's a long two weeks before I get to know what's what. No word on the blood tests from two weeks ago so I'm taking the "no news is good news" stand. Probably get it all at once hahaha
My jungle is growing fast and one thing for sure....Never have to worry about it dying off for lack of water. Was watching the cats in the yard stalking the squirrels through the tall grass and laughing at the thought of them catching one and having the fight of their life. Never mess with the wild. Naw, can't really say that since I've known a few wild women and they were fun.....and yes, dangerous too. Ok, wild can be interesting. hahaha
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10:28:24 AM PDT
The One Flaw In Women
By the time the Lord made woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said, 'Why are you spending so much time on this one?'
And the Lord answered, 'Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart-and she will do everything with only two hands.'
The angel was astounded at the requirements. 'Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.'
'But I won't, ' the Lord protested. 'I am so close to finishing this creation that is soclose to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days.'
The angel moved closer and touched the woman. 'But you have made her so soft, Lord.'
'She is soft,' the Lord agreed, 'but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.'
'Will she be able to think?', asked the angel.
The Lord replied, 'Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.'
The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.
'Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.'
'That's not a leak,' the Lord corrected, 'that's a tear!'
'What's the tear for?' the angel asked.
The Lord said, 'The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride.'
The angel was impressed. 'You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing.'
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice..
They don't take 'no' for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends..
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE TINY FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
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10:31:10 AM PDT
Finally getting all the bullshit out of the way at the doctors office. More tests to help him get an idea of how and what makes me tick hahaha He sent me down for an EKG and I was relieved to see that all looked well. Another med change in my favor and still losing weight. Larrie says it's from all the blood draws that they've done hahaha
Now it's just a count down until Vegas Baby 3 in July. Should be blast once again meeting up with cruising friends.
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1:19:54 PM PDT
A big todo about nothing
Vista, the other operating system. It's not that bad but it does have it's down side. What doesn't?
Sharon! Yes I bet you can get scary and as you say, I should be afraid.....very afraid hahaha OK I guess it's good that you live on the other side of the country.
Jae? you still out there? Never worry about what others feel about you or your journal for the only opinion that really matters is your own. Yes, there are times when we love to hear from others but I find that we enjoy it more when they agree with us hahaha And... I've also found that there are some that just like to stir the pot to see what's on the bottom.
Linda, we've had the same strange weather here so you are not alone. Spring will get here just like every other year....in it's own good sweet time. Just think of cruising hahaha
Lisa viewpoints change as we grow with our kids....it's just something we have to take in stride. Hmm, guess fits like all the Lisa's here hahaha
Angela, I know you don't come around much but know that you are thought of alot.
Karen, damn girl, stop and say hello once in awhile, it's been way to long!
Martha, hope things are still going smoothly out your way. Long time since we've chatted.
And to the rest I've not pointed out....Hugs also for you too are missed.
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1:39:52 PM PDT
Was watching TV today and ran across a story line that had me thinking about all the bad things we have done in our past. You know.... all those things that we don't want to talk about and wish that we could forget them. The ones that we pray would never come back to haunt us let alone any of our close friends and family, God forbid, would find out about. The truth is... If you think like this, then you have belief in God. For God let's you feel how wrong the things we did was and even forgive ourselves but not forget the lesson learned.
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I was pulled to the front door out of one of my games by the doorbell....it was the forever Jehovah's Witness's asking if I believed in the one and true God. My answer to them was simple....I said yes and that I was sorry that they were so closed minded to think that theirs was the only true God. God is a place in each and every heart and like any place, there are many roads to get there and who is to say which one is the right road to take? It's a journey we all must take on our own. I can't believe that left them speechless.... Maybe they will think on it before pushing their beliefs on the next one to open a door........No! Who am I fooling?
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Aren't friends great? No really....it doesn't matter how long you stay out of touch, it's always good to hear from them. Better to hug them but always bringing a smile to the face.
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Women......................You amaze me. There are times I'd like to crawl inside you and see what makes you tick and yet there are other times that scare the hell out of me.
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6:52:21 PM PDT
Two week visit to the Testing place.
My doctor wanted me to go in for a pee test after two weeks to see how the change in my meds are doing. I got there and had to wait almost an hour to get into the Lab. The test he ordered wasn't the pee test I'd practiced all morning for. It was a blood test and I'll tell ya this. It hurts a bit more than just peeing in a jar hahaha Here's wishing you all a good weekend.
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