| |
|
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Subject: ASTROLOGY ON NET RADIO BY DONATION BY FARLEY MALORRUS, CLICK ON ANY TOPIC, ENJOY
Time: 2:18:25 PM PDT
Author: bestactor
Mood: Happy
ASTROLOGICAL METAPHYSICAL RADIO RIGHT HERE ON THE INTERNET. CLICK ON ANY TOPIC ABOVE TO ENJOY A SHOW!
Written by bestactor
Permalink
| Blog about this entry
|  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this
This entry has comments: Add your own
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Subject: BENEFITS OF LICORICE, 100 things ALL MEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT WOMEN
Time: 11:57:21 PM PDT
Author: bestactor
Mood: Chillin'
100.
Girls enjoy always having something kind of wrong, like a headache or
cramping or something. Main Reason: To avoid going out with you. And
remember: No matter how bad it sounds, she’s going to outlive you.
99.
Most women will not have sex for the first time with a guy unless their
legs are shaved. If your date shows up and you spot stubble, she’s
trying to keep herself in line.
98. No matter how much she reassures you, if you can’t get a hard-on she assumes you’re not attracted to her.
97.
Beware of your girlfriend's single party friend or gay bud. They want
her to be single with them and will encourage any bad behavior as often
as possible.
96. Jewelry. Now you always know what to get her for a last-minute gift.
95. The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.
94.
Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn’t get along with
other women because she’s either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean.
93.
Girls who say, “I love sports!” are lying. Girls who ask you what time
the game is on, without specifying which game they’re talking about,
are not.
92. A random hookup is more likely to result in pregnancy, because a woman has more sex when she’s most fertile.
91. She still has all the love letters and cards from her past boyfriends.
90. Just started dating? Women want you to drive, even if it’s their car.
89.
A girl would prefer to get a $100 gift from Tiffany & Co. than a
$500 gift from Fortunoff. Why? Because her friends will ask where she
got it.
88. “If I give you my number on Friday, Tuesday and
Wednesday are your best bets to score a date. Monday is too desperate,
Thursday is too late.”—Claire, 27
87. Your female coworkers are
obsessed with the fact that on average they receive less pay than male
counterparts—and the fact that they work less overtime and get pregnant
is irrelevant to the discussion.
86. Laying a towel down over the wet spot is like putting your jacket over a mud puddle for her, you noble bastard.
85.
A recent study revealed that natural blondes could be extinct in 200
years, so unless she’s Norwegian, her towhead might be bottled.
84. Sixteen percent of American men have been with a prostitute—scientific proof most women are decent in bed.
83. Women always want to believe what you’re saying is true.
82. What do women really want in bed? More blankets. They get colder than men.
81.
The threesome is not about you; it’s about the two girls. If you’re
lucky enough to score one with your girlfriend, enjoy sex with the
other one because there’s a good chance it’ll end the relationship.
80. If women have an excuse to take a pill, they’ll take it.
79. Never trust the woman who gives you the best blow job you’ve ever had.
78.
“I hate when my boyfriend is sweaty and tries to lie down on top of me
or cuddle after I’ve come. Wait five minutes.”—Erin, 21
77. The average woman kisses 79 men before getting married.
76.
She hates your Xbox more than she lets on. Blow her off for some gaming
and she’ll soon stop wasting time on a dork like you.
75. Women who are obsessed with their dogs also like to keep their men on a short leash.
74.
“Girls who buy their men lap dances and pretend to enjoy it are kidding
themselves. They’re trying to keep him happy with some controlled
freedom.”—Suzy, 31
73. Over the course of her life, a woman will
use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped
her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10.
72. During
emergencies, women are likely to remain calmer than men. Though it
should be noted that inventing minor crises on a weekly basis gives
them more practice.
71. “Women grow hairs in a lot of the same places that men do—lower abdomen, nipples—we just get rid of them.”—Katie, 26
70.
Unless they’re lesbians, she won’t approve of your hanging out with
other girls. Even if they’re ugly. And, really, even if they’re
lesbians . . . she still won't approve.
69. If you have something to hide, she’ll find it.
68.
Eighty-five: The number of males per 100 females in Gary, Indiana,
lowest male-to-female ratio of any city with a population of
100,000-plus. The highest male-to-female ratio is in Salinas,
California: 114 males for every 100 females.
67. Kiss her before two dates have gone by or you’ll be “friended.”
66.
They can't live without tension. Every once in a while she's gonna pick
a fight with you for no reason. Accept this as a running, inevitable
theme and your relationship will make a lot more sense.
65. The most painless way to end an argument: Let her win. The best way . . . be honest with her and dump her.
64. An online dating service’s survey found that a woman’s ideal man has brown hair and blue eyes.
63. In the U.S., 21 percent of women ages 18 to 59 hold out for their honeymoon.
62.
A British study claims a woman’s chances of getting married drop by 40
percent for every 16-point rise in her IQ. The same increase in IQ for
a man boosted his chances of getting married by 35 percent.
61. When a woman tells you her problems, she does not want you to offer solutions.
60. Women often cite manhandling of breasts as the biggest foreplay faux pas.
59. “When I’m drunk, I can’t come. Not even with a vibrator.”—Lauren, 35
58. If they're going to do it, most wives cheat between the ages of 18 and 29.
57.
Most women think they’re better drivers than they are. Don’t point this
out while she’s at the wheel or she’ll freak and crash.
56. Women ingest about half the lipstick they apply, which means they eat approximately one to three sticks per year.
54.
A woman might say she just wants sex, but sleep with her for a while
and she’ll change her tune. “I’ve known so many women who think they
can pull this off, but they always develop feelings for the guy,” says
Evie, 22.
53. According to the American Association of Facial
Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, Angelina Jolie’s lips were the most
requested celebrity feature among all female patients in 2004.
52.
Despite always complimenting another woman’s short haircut, she
secretly celebrates having one less competitor, since men prefer long
hair.
51. Don’t call her “cute.” In her mind it’s the same as
“not vomit-inducing.” “Sexy,” OK. “Hot,” yes. “Fucking awesome,” only
if she’s at least slightly buzzed.
50. Women often buy shoes a size or two small because they’re in denial about the size of their feet—which they can’t stand.
49. They dream of one day peeing in a urinal.
48. Women know where they stand looks-wise but worry about being considered cool, about which they’re unsure.
47.
According to the U.S. Bureau of Statistics, 23 percent of 18- to
34-year-old women live with their parents, versus 31 percent of you
losers.
46. Women want to talk dirty, but they’re afraid you
won’t respect them in the morning. Reassure her that letting go in bed
doesn’t make her less classy and she’ll probably go wild. Jäger helps.
45. Twenty-three percent of Maxim magazine readers are women.
44. A psycho jealous girl will do anything to keep her man—including anal.
41.
If she suddenly cuts her hair short, it might mean she no longer cares
what you think of her and she already has what she wants, your money.
But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about someone else’s opinion.
40. About half of all brides will lose a good friend over a ridiculous bridesmaid squabble.
39. It never hurts to say you're sorry, even if you don't mean it.
38.
Let her beat you at something once in a while—poker, chess,
Ping-Pong—and she’ll be more likely to give you what you want, like
some peace and quiet.
37. Women’s public bathrooms are about three times more disgusting than men’s.
36.
“At one point or another, I’ve gone through your things looking for any
evidence from past relationships. I’m talking photographs, postcards,
mementos, address books, diaries. If you don’t like it, get rid of this
stuff before letting me in your apartment. It’s not about trust; it’s
about curiosity, and it drives us crazy till it’s been
satiated.”—Caroline, 28
35. Like you, girls hate nothing more than a clingy partner who needs them every eight seconds.
34.
Chick rock strikes a deeply primal chord inside women while
simultaneously revolting men. Just sit back and let her sing the Sarah
McLachlan or Ani DiFranco song. It’s only about four minutes long.
33. The average woman owns eight bras and wears each one five times before washing. Shasta!
32.
Girls will not sit on any toilet outside their own home or a five-star
hotel. Everywhere else they’re hovering above the toilet in a squat.
31.
Got a new girl coming over? Your (tidy) bathroom should include clean
linen, a box of Puffs Plus, and several full rolls of TP.
30. “Don’t caress our faces while we’re kissing, unless you really, really, really like us.”—Rachel, 21
29. On a first date, women never order what they really want to eat.
28. Breast augmentation surgery has grown by 257 percent since 1997. The most popular size? C-cup. As if you didn’t know.
27.
Gain her trust when you’re out by calling her at 10 P.M. She’ll go to
bed content you’re thinking of her, even if you’re slurping Jell-O
shots off some skank’s cleavage.
26. Put down the Drakkar and grab a box of Good & Plenty. Women are turned on by the scent of black licorice.
25. At least one of her friends wants to sleep with you.
24. A good but flawed man is a fixer-upper gem, and women love nothing more than home improvements.
23. Every woman is self-conscious about her ass. Tell her you love her ass and you’ll see it more often.
22.
If you want more sex, tell your girl an attractive woman hit on you
that day. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.
21. More than half of surveyed females between 18 and 25 would prefer to be run over by a truck than be fat.
20. All women think they’re smarter than their partners in some significant way.
19. The more piercings she has, the more places she’ll let you put it.
18. Once in a while, let her pick the movie and don't complain about it.
17. Any good woman will tell ya, honesty is not always the best policy.
16. Chicks aren’t afraid to get kinky; you just have to have the nerve to ask.
15. Girls don’t want to date doormats. So make her proud and refuse to give up bowling night with the guys.
14. Don't take a woman to a concert you really want to see—she'll just want to leave early.
13. “Women appreciate a big penis, but having one doesn’t give you an excuse to suck at foreplay.”—Elena, 28
12.
Studies show women are more attracted to “macho” guys near ovulation.
The rest of the month, they’re drawn to “good providers,” otherwise
known as chumps.
11. She likes one of your friends.
10.
Ugly girls like to hang out with pretty girls because it makes them
feel like they're more attractive. Pretty girls hang out with ugly
girls for the same reason.
9. The minute she decides she’s even
mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what
your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.
8.
Sixty percent of women in the United States color their hair, according
to L’Oréal (who are obviously hoping they can peer-pressure the other
40 percent).
7. Dated a stripper? Keep your mouth shut, stupid.
6.
Rub a sheet of medium-grade sandpaper across your face. That’s your
five o’clock shadow when you kiss her. Now rub that sandpaper on your
inner thigh. (Mind you, we’re not suggesting you shave.)
5. Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives.
4. Foghat’s “Slow Ride” is not about a trip in the car. Get the hint?
3. The one breakup line she’ll never be able to argue you out of: “I’m sorry, but I no longer have feelings for you.”
2. Buying a present for your girl? She’ll hate it (and you) if she finds out you took along another woman to help pick it out.
1. You'll probably never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12.
Licorice FROM: http://www.womens-health-symmetry.com/licorice.html
Licorice is a perennial herb native to southern Europe, Asia and the Mediterranean. The herb is extensively cultivated in Russia, Spain, Iran and India. Licorice is one of the most popular and widely consumed herbs in the world.
Although many know this herb for its flavoring in candy, licorice is believed to contains many health benefits. Ancient cultures on every continent have used licorice, with the first recorded use by the Egyptians in the 3rd century BC. The Egyptians and the Greeks recognized the licorice herb's benefits in treating coughs and lung disease.
Licorice is the second most prescribed herb in China followed by
ginseng, it is suggested for dealing with the spleen, liver and kidney.
The Japanese use a licorice preparation to control hepatitis.
The most common medical use for licorice is for supporting upper respiratory track health.
The main constituent found in the root is glycyrrhizin. The plant also
contains various sugars (14%), starches (30%), flavonoids, saponoids,
sterols, amino acids, gums, and essential oil. Glycyrrhizin, stimulates
the secretion of the adrenal cortex hormone aldosterone.
Licorice is effective as a cough suppressant. Licorice rhizomes
have a high mucilage content which, when mixed with water or used in
cough drops, soothe mucous membranes. Licorice apparently also has an expectorant effect which increases the secretion of the bronchial glands. Licorice is thought to be an effective to soothe throat, lung, and bronchial membranes.
Homeopathic use of licorice for gastric irritation dates back to the first century. Today, herbal preparations are used to support the digestive system. Rarely used alone, licorice is a common component of many herbal teas as mild laxative, a diuretic, and for flatulence. Licorice has also been known to soothe joints and support normal blood sugar.
The licorice root extract produces mild estrogenic effects, and it has
proven useful in supporting stress of menopause and menstruation.
The constituent glycyrrhizin is 50 times sweeter than sugar, making it a widely used ingredient in the food industry. The distinctive flavor of licorice makes it a popular additive to baked confections, liqueurs, ice cream and candies. Licorice is also widely used in medicines to mask bitter tastes and also to prevent pills from sticking together.
Licorice has also been used in poultices for control of
dermatitis and skin infections. It helps to open the pores and is used
in combination with other cleansing and healing herbs as an emollient.
Common Use: Licorice is an ingredient in many cough medicines and a
popular and well known remedy for bronchial distress. Licorice can have
a beneficial effect on digestive processes.
Written by bestactor
Permalink
| Blog about this entry
| Add to del.icio.us | digg this
This entry has comments: Add your own
Friday, April 4, 2008
Subject: FOR ADULTS ONLY, MYTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE & the Facts of LIfe with Farley Malorrus
Time: 2:53:35 AM PDT
Author: bestactor
Mood: Happy
http://www.radioastrology.com
Written by bestactor
Permalink
| Blog about this entry
| Add to del.icio.us | digg this
This entry has comments: Add your own
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Subject: FIFTH PANZER-"DEFECTION," Copyright 2007/2008, FARLEY MALORRUS
Time: 1:01:27 AM PDT
Author: bestactor
Mood: Happy
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, COPYRIGHT, 2007, FARLEY MALORRUS
"DEFECTION" Chapter......(FIFTH PANZER, A NOVEL I AM WRITING)
FLASHBACK BY COLONEL BAKER C COMPANY BEFORE CROSSING INTO GERMANY.....
"It was late morning and the foggy myst wore off...I could hear the sound of tanks in the distance. It sounded like a stampede of 1000 horses. The men were spent but frisky, and although we had no tank support, we did have artillery, and attitude. The column got closer, and eventually shadows could be seen over the horizon of their approach. It looked like a company or maybe a division. We had 120 men, exhausted, tired, and mentally freaked out from the previous 4 days of non stop battle. 300 of our guys dead. The order was given to "Lock and Load." With tank traps set, mines placed, snipers in place, bazookas in the trees, and artillery on call so we watched and waited........The tanks stopped, as did the rest of the approaching German battalian.The silence was eery. Sorely outnumbered, without radio, and cornered in a ravine, I knew nothing else to do but sweat in 40 degree weather, and Pray. The tanks opened fire, as the sound of 88's roared, and started to pound us. A decision had to be made, as we were spotted. Cut and run or fight...."
"I called in the spot, and the Artillery opened up like the Gates of Hell itself had opened. I saw most of my guys trying to keep their heads down, as the German Regiment opened up on us and scattered. I couldn't understand why they stopped, they paused, and seemed to just stare at us...It was a conundrum....."DEFECTION)
CURRENT TIME
"Vat iz Zis? The Commander ist Dead? Rommel ist Dead? VAS?
Nein, NEIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZIS CANNOT BE TRUE? HOW DID ZIS HAPPEN???????????? OUR COMMANDER KILLED BY THE FUHRER?"
"It is true, Rommel was forced to take poison when Hitler found out he was in on the assassination attempt, in fact, set up to be the new President of a Democratic Germany. Rommel's family was threatened if he insisted on a trial; he had no choice to save his beloved wife and son. It was fast, as they drove off he drank the cyanide, died in seconds, and buried with all Military Honor......Erwin Rommel, the "Desert Fox," The "Hero of Germany," the man responsible for the Invasion of Europe and Africa is dead, by Hitlers cronies.
(Pregnant pause as General Von Brandt sinks deep into introspection)
"Bring ze high command of the Battlion to my tent immediately. We are holding the south flank of defense right now, but the men must know..." ( (
Written by bestactor
Permalink
| Blog about this entry
| Add to del.icio.us | digg this
This entry has comments: Add your own
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Subject: Farley Malorrus Dancing to Super Tramp Recent
Time: 11:29:27 AM PDT
Author: bestactor
Mood: Loopy
"Men, our leader, Rommel, is dead, at Hitlers hand. The truth will spread through the camp as it has like lightning.
As a Prussian, like the Field Marshall, this does not bode well for us. My choice to you is grim and deadly.........................Do we continue to fight for the madman, or do we try to defect to an angry, bitter, vindictive allied army, which would hardly trust us. The choice may be a loss in any event, but it is my belief we defect, what say thee?"
(Pregnant pause with seething anger abound)
Von STrapt: DEFECT
Hager: DEFECT
BRAUNSER: DEFECT
HAUSER: DEFECT
MEIRHAUSEN: DEFECT
VAN BOREN: DEFECTLoudly)
So, the deepest Core of the German Army, of the proud Vehrmacht,the 'Special Forces and Veterans,' the men responsible for at one time winning the War for the Axis, decide in unison to defect and surrender, and decide to present it to the men, awaiting any rebuttals....
The minutes stretched into hours, and the hours to dawn, when word let out that 5 men, supposedly SS operatives sabotaged the ammo dump and fled before dawn. The sabotage was stopped, but the word was out, that ROMMEL'S 5TH PANZER WAS PLANNING TO DEFECT AS A BLOCK of 10,000 men, 35 Panzer and Tiger Tanks, 20 half Tracks, 15 Artillery, and 15 Trucks...The order was given to break camp, load weapons, and
place a blue ribbon on your uniform in case we run into unfriendly
German Troops on our now quest to reach the American lines through 5 SS
Panzer Divisions in front of us.....The Sun rose, the air was wet, the fog came in, and the Battalion started down the road to Stuttgart, and confront what was ahead.....Copyright, Farley Malorrus 2007, 2008. All Rights Reserved.Farley Malorrus Dancing to SuperTramp
For your Entertainment, presented by
www.radioastrology.com
Written by bestactor
Permalink
| Blog about this entry
| Add to del.icio.us | digg this
This entry has comments: Add your own
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Subject: TONGUE TWISTERS PASSED ON, Acting SCI FI
Time: 8:47:20 PM PST
Author: bestactor
Mood: Loopy
The Tongue Twister Database
This page was originally created to give a good group of tongue
twisters to people in speech therapy, to people who want to work on
getting rid of an accent, or to people who just plain like tongue
twisters. I hope you enjoy them.
Due to popular request, I have altered the format of the page. This was
done because many people have felt the previous formats to be hard to
read. I also hope to add new content to the page soon, I promise.
Also, please forgive me if I do not respond to your e-mail. I do read
every e-mail sent to me, but rarely have time to send responses. In
fact I welcome suggestions on how to improve the page, since I think
the current look is dull and am not sure the best way to make it more
interesting. If you have an idea, send it to me at craigstaley@yahoo.com and I will consider it.
Visit the Tongue Twister Bookstore for books on English language resources.
Check out the credits page to see my sources. I hope that I have
mentioned everyone.
Six sick slick slim sycamore saplings.
A box of biscuits, a batch of mixed biscuits
A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk,
but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers?
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
Red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry.
Unique New York.
Betty Botter had some butter,
"But," she said, "this butter's bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter,
it would make my batter bitter.
But a bitof |
