Archives
Turning Points
I am at a turning point once more.
I can remember other turning points in my life. The obvious ones come to mind:
when I met my husband in 1974 (which led to our marriage, but the meeting and "courtship," or dating as we called it back then, was more dramatic and spectacular than the wedding);
when our son was born in 1978, and parenthood changed everything about me, about us, for the better I might add;
when Steve built our house in 1981, I didn't see his vision of our home until after it was built - my faith in him was restored;
I quit my job as a State employee in 1985 to stay at home with my only child. The years that followed were wonderful and indulgent and sweet. The time I spent with my son and his friends as they grew up was priceless. I could never have done the things we did had I been working full-time. I thank my husband for thinking it was a good idea, too.
Those were the turning points that took place on the outside, but there were others that happened on the inside, for reasons explained only by faith and intuition:
when I first became aware of God as a personal companion and Savior, I was about 16 years old. The awareness came to me in a dramatic dream of being rescued during a dark storm. It was only the awareness, as I took no action to follow up on it because I didn't understand it at the time. Looking back, I see that it was a message of reassurance to trust in Him while my dad was in Viet Nam. He took my fear away. Dad came home to his wife and seven children alive, albeit there were some major anxieties that took time for him to get over.
when I realized I could tap into my dreams to learn more about myself in this world, and to find the strength and courage to do things I had fear of doing ( I was about 35 years old).
when I became depressed one year, and found that I couldn't even save myself (1993). That's when Jesus became very personal. I turned to Him and emptied my heart for him, and in turn, He filled mine with His. I became very involved in our church as a result, started teaching Sunday School, began to act with more compassion.
when another dream story/message was followed by my husband saying the words that changed the course of my life, "You could teach" in 1996 (that was followed up by my going back to school to get the degree I needed). I began teaching in 1999 at the school where I am presently.
Yes, it seems that 1996 was a bigger turning point than I first thought.
Specifically, May 18, 1996 at Louisburg College, during a Christian Personhood Conference for the United Methodist Women.
The guest speaker was Evelyn Laycock. Her words turned me around in a way that I hadn't been turned before. She had told us that we didn't have to try so hard to look for God or Jesus, because He was looking for us.
What a revelation that was for me! I had been looking for Him for years, ever since that dream when I was 16. I was trying to find him in my life, in me, but I was never certain that I had found him in my life. I could see him in other people's lives, but couldn't see him in mine. I had wondered if I was blind to spiritual matters, if I had a character flaw?
But then to hear her say that I could stop looking for Him because He was looking for me? I was a parent... I could understand that analogy: I knew what it was like to search for a lost child. I had told my own son that if you ever get lost, "STOP! where you are and wait for me, and I will come find you. I will not stop looking for you. Wait for me!"
I realized right then and there that that was exactly what I needed to do. I had to stop looking for Him, to be patient, to wait, and He will find me. He will find me! He will show me the way home.
Here's what I found out about Him: He was always there with me, but I didn't recognize Him. I didn't notice Him because I was too busy taking care of things for myself, I was too busy looking at the world through my eyes and not His. I was selfish and narrow-minded, and my heart was closed to Him.
Irealized that in May of 96. By the end of summer of 1996 I had had another one of those dramatic rescue dreams. In one I was rescued, and in the other, I was the rescuer. The implications were far-reaching. It gave me great confidence. Jesus had found me and rescued me, and in turn, I was able to rescue another.
When my heart was opened, I was able to see again. I was able to find Him all around me and in me. He was working through me, and using me in ways I hadn't thought was possible. This coming from a girl who nearly professed the belief in no God at all.
It's time for me to stop again so I can find him once more. I know He's there, but I've been using my eyes again, not His,and I've been filling my heart with my desires, not His.
I'm at a turning point once more, so I very much need to stop and listen, to be still and wait upon the Lord. I need to know which path He wants me to take. I am standing at the crossroads, waiting for Him.
What are your Turning Points? What events turned your life around, turned you in a different direction than you had been going? What surprises did these new directions bring for you? Did you ever think you made the wrong turn? Are you at a Turning Point now?
If you write about it, leave me a link in the comment section. I think this is a worthy topic!
bgilmore725 at 10:55:00 PM EDT Blog about this entry |
Add to del.icio.us | 
digg this
-
Thanks for the link Bea. I had received the alert on this entry and I've been keeping it "marked unread" because I definitely want to add something to my journal. I'll come back and leave a link here when I can collect my thoughts and get an entry together.
Big hugs,
Gwynn
http://journals.aol.com/mgmturner/SmallThings/ -
So glad you are sharing this. I think it is very important that we let other Christians and the unsaved see the progression of God in our lives. I definately want to get in on this, do an entry......but it can't be today for sure. Will let you know though. - Barbara
http://journals.aol.com/bhbner2him/LifeFaithinCaneyhead/ -
Incredible entry here, Bea...wow, I'm just speechless. Straight from your heart into mine. Sometimes when I am so quiet, I feel like I'm not looking hard enough or moving fast enough to understand what it is that I need to do. Yes, I am near a turning point, but will I make the turn, or stay stuck in the middle of this road? You've helped me to see, that it's ok to take time to be found by him, that he will guide me, and no matter where I go, He will always be there searching for me and saving me a space until the day I am found. Thanks, Michelle
http://journals.aol.com/INAFRNZ247/Reflections/ -
This entry came straight from the pit of your heart. What a wonderful entry. He will guide you as to which path to take my dear friend just be still and listen.
*Louise*
http://journals.aol.com/firestormkids04/FromHeretoThere"
5/6/06 4:58 PM
My whole last two years has been a turning point...that hasn't completely turned yet! Or maybe there has been several turning points. I may make an entry..have to think about it a little first. I'll let you know.
Come visit! :)
Darlene
http://journals.aol.com/djohn