Archives
Mountain Retreat: What I learned
I am back home, and glad to be. I missed my husband's companionship, and I missed my bed, and all my things that fill my day. I missed reading my emails, and writing in my blog. There was no tv, no radio, and no telephone (or cell phone). Well, all those things were there, but I didn't know how to hook up the TV or stereo (too many wires), the telephone did not work, and neither did my cell phone. Oh, and there was no computer.
But the things I love are also the things that prevent me from taking the time I need each day to become still and quiet. You'd think a woman whose child has grown up and moved out wouldn't have a reason to want to drive far away for a spiritual retreat, alone, but I did. I thought it was the only way I could make myself do what I felt I needed to do.
My mistake, however, was going to the mountain with an agenda, and taking too many things with me. I brought several books, and some journals I had written; my Bible; pens, markers, and crayons in case I felt moved to illustrate as I wrote. The truth is, I didn't know what I would need if and when the Holy Spirit moved me, and I knew if It did, I would want to respond in some creative manner.
I intended to do two things while I was there: 1) read inspiring words to open my mind and heart so that I would be ready to enter into the new school year; and 2) to dream, and to record my dreams. I knew while I was there I could do lots of reading, lots of journaling, and nap anytime I wanted to. Which in theory, should produce some dreams.
Of all the books that I carried with me, only one seemed to draw me to its pages. It wasn't the Bible, and I pondered on that later in the experience.
It was Thomas Keating's The Human Condition, that made its way to the top of the reading pile. I didn't read much else. What I drew from his words on contemplation and transformation kept me busy reflecting, meditating, contemplating, and journaling. It was the book ordered by the Great Doctor Himself, it seemed.
I had not chosen to bring that book. In fact, it had fallen onto the desk when I pulled my devotional book out of the basket. Disregarding it even then, I picked up my church directory to take with me should I need to call anyone, but in my hurry to pack up, I had left the directory and the devotional behind. On the desk.
I was on the road by 2:30, realized I had forgotten the directory, and returned to get it. When I picked it up, and the devotional book, there was the Keating book beneath them. It is a small, slim book, so I thought, why not. The words "contemplation and transformation" on the front seemed to insist that I take it with me, so I did.
Anyone interested in personal spiritual retreats might want to add this book to their list of important words to read. Keating asks the spiritual journeyman to ponder on two questions. The first part of the lecture deals with the first question "Where are you?" (in my relation to God, to myself, and to others).
He suggests that we are all looking for the right thing: the key to finding the true source of happiness, but in the wrong places. We look outside ourselves, and we manage to get our friends and family to help us find this happiness, but they don't know where to look either.
Well, you know the answer by now. It isn't new news. The true source of our happiness is the divine presence of God, and that is to be found inside ourselves.
He goes on to say that contemplative prayer helps expose us to our unconscious, where God is. Where we want to be.
(These words excited me because I believe our dreams connect us to our unconscious as well... messages and images and guidance received from dreams come from ... God? Sometimes.... though not all dreams have significant life-changing meaning. When you pay attention to them, relate them to your waking life, you can gain great insight about yourself and about what you can do, or should do in your relationships with other people at home, at work, and in the world in general. Yes, God can communicate with us through our dreams!)
The second question and second half of the spiritual journey is "Who are you?" The message in this part of his lecture is profoundly moving and startling. He explains that when we are thrown into crisis, Jesus hasn't left us, although we often feel abandoned during a crisis. Keating suggests that God waits until He thinks we are ready, then takes us to a deeper level of faith, as though walking downstairs. He waits for us to join Him there. We find we can trust Him even in the depths of dark trials.
I've only touched on two of the points made in this book, and I've probably not done a very good job of explaining Keating's ideas. I did leave the links to a website that would further explain the concepts of contemplative prayer, and Keating's book. If you are interested, a search of those words will probably help you understand better.
I enjoyed the time at the mountain chalet. What I learned while I was there was that I should be able to make some room in my house for a daily retreat, my own quiet space, my sanctuary for contemplation and transformation. Not a place of escape from the stress of the day, but a place to work on the interior of my life.
I knew this seven years ago. I had such a room, and I used it in that way, and I was transformed by the creative work I had done in there. But over the years, that room has gotten cluttered with things, too many things, and now it looks more like a storage room for teacher supplies. Much like my exterior life has become: cluttered with too many things to do.
It's time to clear it out (both the room and my soul), and make it what it was first intended: a place of solitude for becoming empty, and for seeking the Divine Presence.
bgilmore725 at 10:50:00 PM EDT Blog about this entry |
Add to del.icio.us | 
digg this
-
dear Bea,
hugs! I'm glad you got teh rest and relaxation that you needed and that your soul got anw repreive!
hugggs! I love your pcitures!natalie -
GOD is calling HIS Beloved away even now isn't HE?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Funny how we, HIS Children, many times hear/feel the same
important messages from HIS HOLY SPIRIT.
no-not funny...amazing, actually.
What a lovely time with The LORD you had.
Thank you for sharing.
May GOD keep, guide, and bless you
now and always
Cammie
http://journals.aol.com/yeshuaessenor/JESUSJESUSJESUS/ -
I'm so happy you were able to enjoy your trip and reflect. Hugs, ~ Lori
-
Bea, I'm glad you enjoyed your retreat. I did this once, when I was 20. I went to a Christian guest farm in George, SA (amazing place - still being run today) for 10 days. This was the first time I had left home on my own. I had to decide my future. I always wanted to be a teacher, but was, at that time, a legal secretary. It was a soul searching time, but I found my answer. The quietness and stillness is so important - I found the answer deep in my heart. It had been there all along. I just needed to listen. I know you are in the right place - you always have been. You've always been the one that I think of when I need some wise, spiritual advice. Thank you, my friend. I treasure you!
9/2/06 11:24 AM
First timer here.... never checked out the blogs before but yours really caught my eye :)
The picture #3 of your pics, I believe it is princess pine? If it grows with a vine just under the ground, it is what I used to make Christmas wreaths out of when I lived in Mass (until 1999 when I moved to FL.
I am only on 8/3 of this blog for August and will read all of August, but wanted to comment on your pictures, which remind me so much of Vermont and NH :)
Thanks for sharing :)
Marilyn in Miami FL