Wanderer

I am touched by all the comments and words of comfort and support given by my friends, and friends of friends in the J-land community. I can tell that everyone has a pet, or has had one. Your words have touched my heart and made the passing of this moment a little easier to bare. Thank you all for stopping by and leaving a note of kindness and understanding, and for the emails and ecards. You are all so wonderful.

                                             Max, Misty, and Daisy

There are people out here who have lost someone very close to them, or are about to lose someone. Eventually, we all will lose someone, there's just no way around it. Losing one's pet cannot compare to losing one's spouse or one's child, or one's parent... but I tell you, I have cried as much over my pets as I have over lost family members. Love given and received feels the same whether it involves a pet or a person.

I know I will get through this. I've been there before, several times. Thank you for being so understanding, and for sharing your own stories of love for a pet.                  

I already miss the sound of his barking when we come home... Though Misty greets us, she does it quietly with a wagging tale. I miss the scratching of his paws on the door when he wants to go out or in. Misty just barks once she wants to go out or come in. I miss the sound of his food bowl banging against the floor as he signals that he is ready to eat... and the sound of his collar tags jingling as he trots down the hall to my bedroom to come wake me up. I miss him leaping up into my lap when I sit down to watch a movie, and how he runs after Misty after she has had a bath.

He loved riding in the car. His favorite ride was to drive past the cow fields on Preacher Holmes Road ... he'd bark at the cows as we drove by.

We buried him this morning in our yard, near the place where we had buried another pet about 12 years ago. Max had never met Dusty, but I think they would have gotten along well enough. Dusty was a mix of German Shepherd and some other breed... she had a tawny color, and a deep bark. We knew Dusty was getting older, so we bought Misty. After Dusty died, we had Misty alone for two years.

The year before I started teaching, we were thinking how lonely Misty would be when I went to work, so we went looking for a companion dog for her, and found Max. Same breed, Mini Schnauzer, different color, different parents. He was just a tiny little puppy then, boundless joy and gentleness. They were opposites, and got along well.

I like where my husband chose to dig the grave... it's a beautiful peaceful little corner of the yard, beside a young tree. Our son came to help us with the work we had to do: to let our puppy go... To learn to live without him. I never thought it could be so hard to do this. 

Oh Max...you could never have known how much we'd miss you. I knew it would be hard, but I'd forgotten how much it would hurt. You weren't with us long enough, Mr. Max... you made me laugh, and when you were sick, I felt sad. When you played outside, I enjoyed watching you. I loved having you in my lap, I always loved that, Maxxer.

Forgive me for not knowing how sick you were this last time... for not staying with you long enough at the vet's, for not realizing that you really were going to leave us this time. I miss those adorable eyes, Max. I will treasure your life with us.  

Bye bye, my little pumpkin head. Forever rest in peace, my friend.

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• #25 Comment from madcobug 
  4/7/08 3:30 AM | Permalink

  You did a good job in memory of Max. I would have loved to meet your fur family. We get so attached to them and when we lose them it hurts like losing a family member. We lost or beloved Christy first and Jake really grieved for her. We had him six more years and looking back we should have got another companion for him. We lost our beloved Jake after 14 years. It was so hard to give him up. He loved us so. We did without a dog for 10 months and then got Patches and kept her for a year but she seemed lonesome at times so we got Daisy for her to play with and boy do they play. Keeps us on our toes too. They both love to ride so Ken takes them on short trips to different places. They stay in the car while he does his business. When it gets hot then they can't go usless I can go where the air can stay on so they won't get hot. I have went down reading your journal and have ejoyed reading it very much, Thank you for leaving a comment in my journal  along with your journal url. Hugs, Helen
• #24 Comment from luddie343 
  3/28/08 11:58 PM | Permalink

  Now you have them forever, Bea.  Not just a day, a year, but forever in your heart.  No one can change the joy you feel in memories and everytime you think of your good and loyal friends, you'll bring them back to you.  xoxo CATHY
  http://journals.aol.com/luddie343/DARETOTHINK/
• #23 Comment from carolsixpac 
  3/26/08 3:07 AM | Permalink

  HI HONEY-JUST CKING IN ON U TO SEE HOW UR DOING...HUGS AND LOVE-CAROLINA
• #22 Comment from shauneenie 
  3/23/08 3:05 PM | Permalink

  Dear Bea...I am so terribly sorry to hear of the sad passing of your beloved Max! He was adorable and I can see how much you loved him......love Shauneen xx
• #21 Comment from cacklinrosie101 
  3/20/08 3:16 PM | Permalink

  Oh, Bea, I know it really hurts but don't knock yourself out with guilt about not realizing Max was so ill and for going home to shower.  Who would have thought?  It came so suddenly.  Most of us are pet owners and know just how bad it feels to lose our furry ones.  I pray you feel better as time goes on.  How is Misty reacting?  They are the cutest pups...Chris