Wanderer

Friendship: on-line and off-line.

When your off-line friend doesn't call you for a few weeks, you call them to find out if they're okay. If they don't respond to phone calls, you drive to their house and ring the door bell or walk right in. You have to know if your friend is okay, because if he or she isn't, you want to be the one to help them through whatever malady has taken them away from living their life as you know it. Friends will do that for each other.

But what does one do when an on-line friend doesn't post for several weeks? You return to their journal many times and you see that the blogger isn't posting, as he was in the habit of doing for a few years. So you email him. Or her. A week passes, no response from the email. You reread past posts to find out if there were any clues about a family vacation, or possibly a planned surgery, or other intended hiaitus. You find nothing. Not a word. Even previous emails leave no suggestion that the blog writer would be away for such a lengthy time.

What do you do then? You don't know their real name, you don't know phone numbers and addresses. You just know the story of their life as they have told it in their blog and in subsequent blog-related email communications.

One of the drawbacks of establishing an on-line friendship is that when the person disappears from life, they literally disappear. When they stop posting, how long should one wait before one starts thinking they might be in the hospital, seriously sick? or worse, they're already gone from this world?

I am feeling fearful about our blogger friend, Barry. AKA, Bbartle3, of the aol journal Vengeance. He started his aol journal in 2004 with an entry about reconnecting with a former classmate that he hardly remembered, but was able to find some common memories.

He wrote the following words: "Over time, not only do people die, become incapacitated, or ill, they also store up feelings of having failed, even when there is plenty of evidence of achievement, and growth in wisdom."

I don't remember my first visit to Barry's journal, but I do remember having to read and reread his entries to find out just where he was coming from. It took some work, but I soon figured him out. And now that I haven't seen an alert from him in over two months, I'm very worried.

So this entry is my APB alert... All Points Blog alert!

Has anyone seen or heard from Barry? He's a handsome gentleman in his seventies, has a very young wife (they've been married 15 years) from South America, and four beautiful sons (the youngest is just over a year old, Marc Andrew, and he sings Beethoven!).

I did a few minutes of searching through his archives this morning just for this entry, and found what I was looking for... photos of his beautiful family. Click here for that. and here is another great photo of the whole gang.

I miss Barry's entries, often caustic, always opinionated, and always reflective. You can tell his mood once you get to know him. He's a gentleman at heart... a real gentleman. 

Barry, if you read this, how about dropping me or anyone of your journal friends an email. Tell us you are away on vacation in that new car you just bought, or you off to Australia to visit your family. Please tell us something like that! Maybe your oldest daughter (previous marriage) will read this and respond.

I just want to know. Otherwise, I'm thinking you've left us for good this time. I don't like where that thought is taking me.

I'm praying for you, Barry, and your family. I hope this is just a temporary situation, and that all will be well. But I am worried.

If anyone has any inkling of information about the well-being of Barry of Vengeance, would you email me? My email address is bgilmore725@aol.com

|  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this

• #19 Comment from mumma4evr
  4/22/08 7:57 AM | Permalink

  any news yet???
  Becky
• #18 Comment from nemokat05
  4/19/08 9:02 PM | Permalink

  hey how are you doing?
• #17 Comment from sunnyside46
  4/18/08 7:47 PM | Permalink

  you are so sweet to care
  if I disappear, come find me too
  love
  Marti
  http://journals.aol.com/sunnyside46/MidlifeMusings/
• #16 Comment from helmswondermom
  4/16/08 9:42 PM | Permalink

  I hope that you hear from him or someone in his family very soon.
  Lori
  http://journals.aol.com/helmswondermom/DustyPages/
• #15 Comment from luvrte66
  4/15/08 9:26 PM | Permalink

  Hi Bea,
  
  Thanks for visiting my journal and leaving such nice comments! Hope to see you again soon....
  
  Hope you hear more about your friend. You're right, online friendships can be so tenuous. Good luck.
  
  Beth
  http://journals.aol.com/luvrte66/nutwoodjunction/