Never Give Up

9:48:29 PM EDT

I am closing down this blog / journal.  

If you are looking for me, I am blogging at Neil's Journal, on Blogger.

Thanks for coming by...

Neil 

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2:51:28 AM EST

Can't sleep.  Let me tell you about some books - briefly.

In the days between my recent injury and subsequent surgical intervention, I read "White Blaze Fever", William Schuette's account of his through-hike of the Appalachian Trail, from Springer Mountain in Georgia to Mount Katahdin in Maine, covering 2,167 miles between late March and late August of 2000.  Schuette took on the trail name of "Mountain Slayer" and by the time he had completed his trek, I think he earned the appellation. 

An odd choice of reading for a man whose backpacking track record may have accumulated at most 60 miles over the past 15 years - and especially for one destined to spend the next six weeks on crutches, but I really loved the book.

The book was not as much fun as Bill Bryson's "A Walk in the Woods" but this wonderful book made me itch to pick up my pack and head for the AT. I am thinking about how long it will take to do the trail in sections, and whether I will be in shape this summer to spend a week or two on the trail.  If I start this year, and do 120 miles a year, I can complete my hike in 2025 (at 70 years old). 

We'll see.  Meanwhile, if you like to hike, you might give Bryson and Schuette a read.

I read 167 pages of Barack Obama's "Audacity of Hope".  I like Obama, and I feel like I ought to read more of his reasonable, moderate, good-hearted liberal writing.  Maybe later. For now I have read enough to solidify my sense of the man as someone this country really needs right now.  Maybe as President. Maybe as AL Gore's VP.

In anticipation of an April trip to Gettysburg, I have read James McPherson's "Hallowed Ground: A Walk at Gettysburg".  McPherson is the author of "Battle Cry of Freedom", my favorite Civil War history, and a former professor of history at Princeton who was well known for leading his students, friends and family on annual tours of the Gettysburg battlefield.  "Hallowed Ground" is a good guide for anyone thinking of a trip to that battlefield.

I am currently 251 pages into Edwin Coddington's masterful "The Gettysburg Campaign, A Study in Command". So far, one of the best books I have read on this part of the war, with insightful and well-written accounts of the command decisions, leadership styles, and performance of the generals who led the armies, corps, divisions, and brigades in thatcampaign. After 251 pages the first shots of July 1 have not yet been fired, but the book has been fascinating nonetheless.

Somewhere in between, I squeezed in the latest (perhaps the last) of the Tony Hillerman Navajo country crime novels.  "The Shape Shifter" was a quick read, and completely enjoyable for anyone addicted to Hillerman's characters Joe Leaphorn and Jim Chee.  I almost swallowed this one whole, on a sleepless night (not unlike tonight - why am I blogging at 2:45AM?).

Time to return to bed, with Mr Coddington's book in hand.  I will fall off in a while I hope, and if not, then I may finish this good book sooner than expected. 

What are you reading?  Any recommendations?

Neil

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4:58:44 PM EST

One week later.

Surgery last Saturday was no big deal.  Local anesthesia, sedative, laydown and let the doctor stitch my Achilles tendon together.  Easy as cake. 

The nurses showed me how to use crutches, and explained how to run the lunch-pail sized ice chest to circulate icewater through my cast.  Twenty minutes of every hour - except when I am in bed for the night. For three weeks.

Showering with one leg out of the tub.  Wearing sweat pants all day, every day.  And finding that many things are more difficult than I ever imagined possible; everything takes longer; and some things do not get done unless someone else does it for me.

Oh this is not easy.  All the medicine - the antibiotics, painkillers, anti-inflammatory drugs, and others - some related to my surgery and some to the lingering pneumonia/bronchitis/will I ever stop wheezing and coughing crap.  When my foot stopped hurting, my stomach started up. 

It is incredible to look down at my lower leg and witness the physical sign of my momentary misstep.  Fortunately, in just five more weeks, the cast will be gone (and the sweat pants too) and I will be in physical therapy.

Till then, I have to count myself lucky that my injury is so temporary.  I will write more tomorrow - I have been doing some reading and would like to tell you about it.

But right now, I have to pump ice water, again.

Neil

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3:14:02 AM EST

My holidays have been a test of my medical benefits.  So far, I have been treated three times with antibiotics to cure the ongoing invasion of my lungs that started as "walking pneumonia" a week before Christmas.  I am now on day 3 of my third wonder drug prescription - this a more powerful antibiotic sure to do the trick.

Of course the holidays weren't one endless plague -- I was too well-behaved in 2006 to be treated that badly by Santa.  No, I felt very well indeed for the week from Christmas Eve till New Years Day (till about 6pm on January 1 anyway, when my nose began to stream and my lungs began again to produce venomous coughs to scare off small children and pets.)

So what did I do with my week of clear lungs and resurgent vitality?  Well, I tore up the Achilles tendon that connected my left foot to the rest of my unlucky body.  I could describe the incident in great boring detail, but it will perhaps be sufficient to note that I was jogging from my car to my sister's front stoop with a Christmas present in hand, and planting my foot on the first step, allowed my left heel to slip down the stairs while the rest of my body was moving upwards and away from what was soon to be a useless, swollen subject for my blog.

I should have gone to see my doctor, but it was late on Christmas Day, and there were better things to do.  For days in fact I put off that visit - maybe it would be okay in a few days - maybe it was not so bad.  Then, once I fell ill again, it was too much to try to deal with my foot.   

Between holidays, illness, and my left foot, I have managed to work two days since December 19.  Not that I haven't spent my time wisely - I have had a root canal done in that time span (dental benefits need a workout too - right?).  And I have had time to spend with family.  I have even finally found some time for television.  I have read some good books, too.   

Eventually I even found time finally to seek medical attention for my foot.  I saw a podiatrist, and he scheduled me for surgery day after tomorrow.  Six weeks in a cast (no weight on the foot at all - crutches and a lot of sitting), and physical therapy for several weeks more.  I even need a chair for the shower - oh my god!

It is a bitch getting old. 

Neil 

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10:19:39 PM EST

No cards have been mailed again this year, and all I can say in my self-defense is that I have been sick.  My body provided an excuse.  Walking Pneumonia, according to the doctor.

What began as a cough two weeks ago, and in a few days became a demonic possession that shook my body, emitting foul and coarse-sounding coughs every ten minutes, apparently at some point moved deep into my lungs and earned the ominous title "pneumonia".

Apparently, walking pneumonia is distinguished from the other kind only by your ability to stand and walk about - some reward for not smoking, apparently.

On this past Monday, I developed a fever and began to take my health more seriously.  I went to the doctor.  I went back yesterday and had a chest x-ray.  Considering how rarely I seek medical attention, this is roughly equivalent to a 9-1-1 call for some people. 

I am feeling better tonight.  Wrapping gifts.  Blogging.  And thinking of friends I have not spoken with in a long time. I should have sent cards, but tonight, I will send an e-mail to a friend or two, just to say I wish them well.

My kids will be here tomorrow, and I am looking forward to being with them.  Christmas was more fun when they were small, but now they are older and not always around, and just being together is all I need. 

Life is good, much better than we think.

And I still have some presents to wrap - so goodnight.

Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas, and a happy New Year, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Festivus!

Neil

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11:39:34 PM EST
Feeling Quiet
Hearing China Gates

Once again, I have purchased Christmas cards.  Very nice cards.  Stamps too.

I have a closet in which the cards purchased last year and the year before, and indeed for several years previous to that, are still peering out through the clear plastic covers of their original packaging.

I am the place where Christmas cards go to die.  The dead letter office for unmailed greetings.  A black hole of holiday spirit. 

Perhaps this weekend, I will pull together the addresses of loved ones and sit with coffee in one hand and a nice pen in the other, and carefully write out the names and addresses, and some poorly-wrought small-words representation of my heart.

Perhaps, once again, not.

I do so hate Christmas.  Why can't we just do Thanksgiving all over again?  It is so perfect!  No shopping, no freakin' tree, no cards, no guilt (unless you have a care for the poor turkeys). 

Bah humbug - they call me Scrooge. 

So I have shopped and spent too much and not enough till it is all gone and I am still not done.  Senseless. 

I was asked tonight once again what I want for Christmas.  More pressure -- it would be easier to say what I don't want.  Don't pick out clothes for me, books or music for me, or in fact anything for me.  I generally don't like what anyone else chooses and it usually ends up in the trash.  Sorry. 

So - is there anything I really want?

I was good this year, and all I want for Christmas is:  Thanksgiving!

Apologies in advance if you do not receive a card.  Or a present.

Peace,

Neil

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7:55:04 PM EST

If you have a phone number for me, it doesn't work.  

If you think you have my address, you're wrong.

Sorry - I am somewhere else now.

Not sorry, actually.

Somewhere else always sounded good to me.

And so once again, I test the waters. 

Amazed.  Grateful.  Hopeful.  Resigned.

 

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12:16:17 AM EDT

Visited Dan in Vermont.  It's a long ride to make by yourself, but the fall colors make for a nice ride.  Dan is happy at school, so I suppose I am happy too. We shot some pool and did some shopping (snow boots and cd's) and had dinner with some of his friends.  I miss him terribly; it was no consolation to know that he misses us at home too.

Met Jim crossing the street one morning near Times Square - now we meet for dinner most every Wednesday.  That's very good.  A Guiness or two and dinner in an Irish place in Midtown -- and a chance to share small talk and what's happening.  After not seeing him at all for so long, it is very good to be able to get together so easily now.

Gen is getting serious about graduate school.  She and Joe went to look at UMass last weekend.   We went to the movies on Saturday and saw The Prestige (disappointing) then canceled dinner plans due to a sick stomach.  We managed to get together for dinner on Sunday -- I try out my cooking on Gen (the new cookbook she gave me for my birthday is an inspiration).  The risotto this weekend was a success! I was glad she had time to visit on Sunday. I will miss her when she goes off to grad school. 

The kids are shuttling in and out of my life -- it used to just be Jim, now the other two are at it.  Kids!

I am moving - not far but far enough that I will have to make some order of my domestic situation.  Ugh.  Moved some of my books to the office.  Files and spare clothing need to be pitched or donated, and the vast cd collection - oh my. I am dreading this exercise, but I do need a change of scene.

The war continues, and a new round of elections is on the horizon.  This blog has mainly been non-political and will stay so for now.  But the continuing national disgrace and paranoia weighs heavy on the soul.  Let's hope new leadership will find new answers.

Since the summer, I have helped two more boys from our Troop earn their Eagle ranks.  Craig Cox has an Eagle Court of Honor coming up Nov 11 (Veterans Day).  He called me yesterday and asked me to speak at the ceremony.  Jeremy Peters has his Board of Review coming up - if he passes, he will be the last of the Eagle Scouts from Dan's Cub Scout group.  And I will be done.

I've been doing a lot of reading lately.  Not much time for writing.  I think maybe I will start to write about the things I have been reading.  Even if nobody sees it, I think that will be worthwhile.

I stopped in at the Scout meeting tonight - I am serving as Reading Merit Badge Counselor at the moment.  Easiest merit badge in the Scout program, I think.  But I had only three boys who were willing to do it.  Reading is such a powerful tool to open and expand the mind, and writing such a powerful way to improve one's thinking. 

Sleep is also beneficial, so good night. 

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9:02:16 PM EDT

Dan is off to college.  Jim is home from Taiwan.  All in the past few days.

Dan is starting his first year at a small college in Vermont - a long way from home.  Even though he is the youngest of my crew, this is still taking some getting used to...

Jim was in Taiwan for the past year. After graduating from college a year ago, he chose to go to Taiwan to teach English with some friends.  He came home on Wednesday. Last night, we had dinner together.  It was good to see him again.

A lot has been happening here.  Some of it has been pretty darn good, and some has been just complete crap.  I try not to talk about the crap. 

Sometimes life is better boring.

.. 

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10:05:00 PM EDT
Hearing Pictures from the hike, and party later

Two pictures of a rattlenake beneath a rock -- while not as important as the pictures of loved ones here -- are nonetheless interesting (though not as riveting as being two feet away).

Featured above next to the bear, today's birthday boy himself.

.

 

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