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Sunday, August 10, 2008
12:17:49 PM EDT
Mr. Snow Goes To London
Charlie wasn't in great shape when the $99. London fare was itroduced but it was one of his dreams and I was going to go so....
Charlie, Bob and I arrived at Heathrow and took the train into downtown London. It was the first time I had seen train employees peddling donuts and drinks on a cart through the train. We grabbed a cab and headed for the hotel...on the left side of the road , of course. That was an adventure in itself. Charlie was too tired to go out so Bob and I headed into London to find a place to eat and the nearest gay bar. When we got back, Charlie was out like a light.
The next morning I got up at a fairly reasonable hour and headed down the hall to Chralie's room. I knocked a couple of time\es and got no answer. I let myslef in after a very feeble "Come in."
He did not look good lying there in the tiny bed with the covers pulled up around his neck. "You're not doing very well?" I asked.
"I'm not feeling so hot...you should go out and do what you want, maybe Ill be better to go out for dinner."
I put my hand on his forehead. He was cooking. He sat up and I got him to drink some cold ice water and take a couple of Tylenol. Charlie worked his way back under the covers with hardly a word and we headed out for the Tower of London.
The tour and the tower were a good time. While on a rest stop, Bob had gone to look for something to get Charlie's temp down and ended up with a cold water bottle. I went into Picaadilly Square, taking one of those famous two decker buses right back to the hotel. He rang his bell loudly at every stop. Did I mention that I spent half the day in Madame Toussand's Wax Museum with Abe Lincoln, Julius Caesar, the Queen and Adolph Hitler?
Then I had lunch and stood on line to see the crown jewels. They are amazing. Finally I stopped by the 1/2 price ticket booth and got a single ticket to a play called "The Island". I didn't have a clue what it was about. In a tiny theater filled with fog, it turned out well later that night. After theater, I headed back to the hotel and Charlie.
He was worse and by day three, we were really getting worried.
Charlie was not getting any better. If anything, he was worse; sleeping most of the time, not eating or drinking and his fever was getting higher. We wanted him to go to the aptly named "Queen" Hospital diretly across from our hotel but he was afraid that they would ask for meoney. I told him he just couldnt handle the name.
Bob and I did our best to take are of him and still have a semblance of a 5 day vacation. It wasn't easy.
The day came to head back across the Atlantic. We could barely get Charlie out of bed and dressed, never mind to a cab to the airport. We should have dragged him to the "Queens" but we dutifully pulled his clothes on, slowly.
We made it to the plane after literally carrying Charlie along the way. He sat up for the take off ina daze after we buckled him in. I'm still amazed that they let us board. Luckily it was a near emply wide body and we put Charlie to bed on an empty row of 5 seats. He slept all the way home. We asked the stewardess to call an ambulance in Boston...
We arrived at Logan Airport and the ambulance was waiting. They took Charlie to Beth Irael Hospital. Only one person could ride so Bob went with him.
Charlie spent a couple of days in ICU and several sweeks in the hospital. He had a very bad case of pnumonia that had not been attended to for weeks. He never told us because he knew we would not have taken him to the city of "Big Ben".
A couple of months later, Charlie and I sipped tea from one of his elegant bone chain cups in that small, beautifully decorated, subsidized apartment in the South End of Boston. We were sitting enjoyng his being home and our time together when he set down his cup of tea and looked right at me.
" I had a wonderful time in London, Thank You for thaking me."
Saying that I looked surprised would be an understatement.
He continued, "I never got out of bed but I could hear the bells and the clanking of the two-tier busses. I could smell the streets. I could hear the "bobby' outside blowing his whistle several floor below. I could hear many peolpe speaking or yelling the Queen's english outside my window. I listened to those wailing Police and Fire sirens and I swear I could hear Big Ben toll. I knew exactly where I was for the whole 5 days. It was a great trip that fulfilled a dream. Thank you".
Never underestimate your friends or the power of a good deed.
These stories will be part of of my one man show "The Last Brontasauras". I'm looking for a director or a movie maker. Know anyone? Forward it, please.
Written by bobpublicover
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12:17:48 PM EDT
Mr. Snow Goes To London
Written by bobpublicover
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Tuesday, April 29, 2008
1:14:50 PM EDT
Feeling Hopeful
Joey's Story
Joey Politano was a good kid. He got good marks. He treated everyone good. He was well liked by his small circle of friends. Then came that fateful day. Joey came home and said to his Mother and Father,
"Sit down, Mama and Papa, I have to talk to you. My news is not good."
They were a typical Italian family, if there is such a thing. Papa was 61 years old, a big man who had come from Sicily when he was a boy with his family. Mama was a bit younger and married him when she was 18. They had 5 children including Joey who came late in life. He had worked hard to pay his familie's way. Mama had taken good care of them through some tough times.
The three Politanos sat down in the living room. Mama turned down the soap opera on tv. "This is not easy but I have to tell you". Joey spoke first.
He looked worried. Mama could sense something was very wrong. "What is it baby, what do you need to tell us that is so important?" she asked.
He took a deep breath. "I'm gay". He quickly addded "I just found out that I have HIV, the virus that causes you to get AIDS. I'm ok right now but I dont know what will happen in the future. I could get very sick, I could even die".
Mama's face fell, she began to cry softly. Papa sat and fumed and nothing was said for a minute. He got up and spoke very loudly.
"After all we have done for you , you come home and tell us you have a fag disease and you're one of them. Maybe you should die". Papa raved on for a good five minutes saying things that made the other two in the room cringe. Mama cried more. "Now, get your things and get out of my house". Papa's face was rapidly turning red. "Im not having no perverts in this home. You get out and don't come back. You are not my family anymore".
Joey knew better than argue. He went to his room and packed what he could in two suitcases. As he started out the door, Mama walked over to kiss him, tears still in her eyes. "Mama" yelled Papa, "come here". She turned and went to him.
"I love you mama and Papa". Joey walked out the door.
In the next two years, Mama would sneak in a phone call to Joey when she could. They talked long minutes. Papa never once mentioned his name. Then nearly two weeks went by when she only got his answering machine. She began to worrry. A few days more of no answers and she wanted to say something must be wrong but she did not dare bring up the subject to Papa.
The phone rang when Mama was upstairs cleaning. Papa got out of his heavy chair and picked up the old fashioned receiver. "Hello, Is this Mr. Politano?"
"Yes, you gotta Joe Politano, who's this?"
"This is Dr. Snow at Mass. General Hospital in Boston. Your son Joey is here and he is very sick. He said you might not take my call but I want you to know how very ill he is. He has Pnumosistis Pnumonia. We dont know how long he has to be with us. I know that no one has been in to see him. If you want to see your son, you need to get here in the next few days or it may be too late".
"Yeah, ok.." Papa slowly hung up the phone. " Mama, come down here".
Six members of the Politano family and a couple of cousins gathered around Joey's bed at the hospital. He was thin and looked as pale as one can. His face was sunk. They had been there for 3 days, always someone at his bedside. There were flowers and cookies in the room. No one was sure if Joey could see them. He could not speak because of the breathing apparatis.
The bell rang to signify that visiting hours were over. The group filed slowly out of the room, each of the women kissing Joey on the forehead. Each of the men, touching his shoulder. They were all in the hall escept Papa who remained behind.
He leaned over and took Joey's hand in his. Papa whispered in his ear, "you get better and come home, we'll take care of you, Ilove you, my son". He kissed Joey on the forehead, a tear in his eye.
They went home.
Two weeks later as Joey continued his amazing recovery, the family all came once more to take him home to his own room. He spent the best two years of his life in that home.
Written by bobpublicover
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Thursday, March 20, 2008
9:17:38 PM EDT
Feeling Hopeful
Life Goes On
The last time I wrote a real column, I had just gone on TPN, an 8 lb.s intrevenous bag every nite. I spent 9 long months on that damn thing. I weighed 82 when I started. Ive been off it for 3 months now and it looks like my body has decided to accept real nutrition again. Im back up to 120 pounds and holding. This, after a year on the new Merck Drug with an undetectable viral load. Together they semed to have wsorked for me. I thought I might not make it til next June, Last June I could not get from the couch to the tv to turn it on. Last week I went on a 7 day cruise in the Carribbean with my loving partner who has put up with all this. This is my 31st year as an HIV poz man, perhaps as the ultimate fluke of a Poz guy. Im still here. My mental state still sucks. The shrinks think my right frontal lobe may be affected by the virus over such a long termn and its greatly affecting my motivation. I want to do so much but cant get up the will power to do it. But Im still trying. If that ol frontal lobe wont work, then perhaps I can find a way around it.
I really want to sit down and write my book, "The Last Brontosauras", about these 30+ years of positive stories that I have in my head. Just cant seem to do it. Maybe I should just film it. Anyone got any ideas.? Tom Hanks, are you listening, it would make a great movie!
Written by bobpublicover
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Saturday, November 3, 2007
5:18:11 PM EDT
neighborhood
August 27, 2007
Neighborhood
From Bluntly Speaking by Robert J.L. Publicover
(Editor’s note: I asked Bob to give me a “timeless” column of his from a decade or so ago – he gave me several to choose from and I liked this one – I hope you do too – JN)
(The opinions and views expressed in the commentaries of The Somerville News belong solely to the authors of those commentaries and do not reflect the views or opinions of The Somerville News, its staff or publishers.)
What exactly is a neighborhood? We hear talk that “Sanctuary City” is destroying our neighborhoods. Yet, can it really do that? I doubt it. Sanctuary City is illegal. We cannot disobey federal laws regarding illegal aliens. I would love to repeal Sanctuary City if it was on the ballot, but that really is not an issue of neighborhood.
The dictionary says: “Neigh-bor-hood – n. Nearness; proximity; the region near or about some place or thing; the vicinity; a district of locality, often with reference to its character or inhabitants; as a rundown or fashionable neighborhood; a number of persons living near one another in a particular locality…”
That’s not really a very good “real” description of what a neighborhood is all about. Somerville is still a city of many neighborhoods…ask someone who has lived on the same street for many years.
The neighbors may consist of the people next door and across the street or of many people on a given street. There is a special relationship among the people who live in a neighborhood. They may be there for many years or only have moved in recently but that feeling is still there.
I lived in the same house near Davis Square for most of the first 30 years of my life. A great neighborhood. When I moved away from home, I got all the way across the street and a couple of houses down.
It is really the things that happen between people living on a street that make a neighborhood. Neighborhood when I lived on that street was when Bruno came over and shoveled my mother’s walk before I got the chance to do so. Neighborhood was when Ann would cook a little extra and send it down the street to my house…or when something smelled good when I happened to drop by, there was always room for one more dinner…and there still is to this day.
You’ve heard the stories of someone getting in an accident and the folks in the neighborhood hold a fund raising dance to help them get by. It has happened more times in Somerville than I can count. I hear the stories because of being in this business of news. The happen a lot. The “neighbors” recently cleaned up Foss Park. Another group of “neighbors” is heading to clean up Prospect Hill Park this weekend.
When I finally managed to buy my own home near City Hall (no, I was not planning to run for office at the time), I wondered what it would be like. You don’t get to find out much about the people on the street before you move in. I had a house warming party a few weeks after moving into the house. No complaints from the neighbors, no police cars coming by to tell me that the neighbors wanted us to quiet down.
I didn’t think of that as a sign that I moved to a good neighborhood. It wasn’t too long after that when two puppies showed up on my front porch on a rainy day. I kept them for a week until we hunted down the owner nearly a week later. She was quite happy with her neighbor!
My own puppy was out in the front yard one day when I went off to work. A downpour raged into town. I knew that I did not have the time to head home, so the dog would get drenched. Nope. Jim, across the street, whose name I did not even know, had run across and taken the puppy into his house. That’s neighborhood.
When a good friend died recently, he left behind two cats for which we decided to try to find homes. Of course, the next day, we found four – two cats, two new kittens. Oops.
Our neighbors helped find homes for all of them. Clare, across the street, found that Mama cat had worms and had never been spayed, so she headed off to the vet and paid the bill herself. That’s neighborhood.
If you have had a relative pass away, remember how many of the neighbors dropped by with some food “just in case you needed it”? That, too, is what neighborhood is all about.
If you are a long-term resident, you’ve had a lot of experiences with neighborhood. If you’ve just come here recently, you many be lucky enough to have moved into a good neighborhood. Neighborhoods don’t just exist. You make them.
Somerville is still a city of many wonderful neighborhoods from Teele Square to Foss Park; from Davis Square to Ten Hills. That will only change if we do. Let’s not. Written by bobpublicover
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Tuesday, October 9, 2007
9:12:03 PM EDT
Journal Notes
The journal is supposed to be a regular thing...somewhere there is the self discipline to do more. I just got fitted with a new PIC line for nutrition after having a double line since only Sept 7. Damn thing fell out. Its been about 4 months since I started the intravenous nutrition and there is a big difference in how I feel. I'd love a lot more energy and movitvation along with less aches and pains but this is a heck of a lot better. A few days before first getting the line, I was lucky to make it from the couch to the tv to turn it on, I was so weak. I'm very frustrated by the way I feel both physically and mentally but keep on making my way along.
I hope to try a new experimeantal drug, 'Crofelemer', when the study starts soon which could make a big difference in my intestitnal problems. I dont want to get my hopes too high after two years plus of this crap but it sure would be nice to see it all go away as suddenly as it came. I have not been able to find a great deal of discussion on the web about the drug but it has been successful in a large number of cases..
I'd kill to be able to take a part time job but I know Im just not ready. I am still thinking about looking for a part time job for the holidays and see how I would hold out. Meanwhile, the Red Sox and the Patriots provide too much tv time along with CNN but it beats sitting around and sleeping or not feeling good enough to care whats on. I am reading a great deal more, setting time aside each day when the tv goes off and the books come out. I figure if David can take 5 subjects at school, I can read on 3 different things at a time. He brings too many home from the bookstore where he works but Im not doing bad.
I feel like I need a break...a trip away with hopes that it might jump start me and get me going at a better pace before the miserable winter comes,. Sis is hopefully settled into here new home in Phoenix and I would love to go see her. Maybe for the World Series if the Diamondbacks win. Meanwhile, I appreciate how lucky I am to be able to live at a decent level thanks to owning the house. I could be a lot worse off. When David graduates with his nursing degree, we should both be a lot better off financially. I need to stick to mybudget which never seems to happen. That doesnt cause much of a problem now, but when Im 75, it could be a bit tight if Ive run out of money. Im still hoping to be around for a long time. \
Meanwhile, its back to my therapist, considering returning to acupuncture (finances dont help gettting back to either). Im also thinking about a return to my old bowling league. I need some inerests. I have made up my mind to do something entirely new whether it be a saltywater acquarium or learning french, who knows. I need to do things to keep the brain sharp.
...and that includes writing more often!
Written by bobpublicover
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Sunday, April 15, 2007
6:09:59 PM EDT
Hearing mixed cds
Dark and dreary days (daze?)
Its about as dark and dreary out there during this spring n'oreaster as one can get. My mood is better than the day which may not be saying much but these day, not a bad thing. I have now been on the 'real' new Merck experimental drug, Retalgrav, for 6 weeks. At last count my Viral Load had crashed to undetectable which is a great thing. I had thought I was on the real drug during the first part of the study but its obvious I as not which is a big relief. I'm not really sure where my health goes from here, I'm not sure any Doctor is either although I plan to talk to the folks at MGH about it further.
I did complete my initial consult with a potential new HIV /infectious disease team at MGH (Mass General Hospital.) It felt a bit stilted but they havent got a clue whom I am any more than I now them and that is reasonable. They know their stuff and thats what I need right now. The Doctor told me tht I can not expect to gain all my weight back and she really dosnt know what to expect; everyone is different. Several people with 1-2 years on new drug and with virtaully no VL have gained some wieght back. I need to talk to them when I go back in 6 weeks about the potentially of the lower viral load finally doing something about the intestinal problem and the weight loss. What are my odds of this getting much, if any, better/ If not, I can deal with it but it would help to have a better idea of where I may be going.
I am leery about saying that I have felt aspeck better over the past couple of weeks with fears that the old 'don't speak too soon' is true. I am hoping this continues. Spring has to make a dif. Not having the energy or for that matter, the desire, to do things is not the me I prefer. I worry about finances after spending down my equity loan way too fast. I dont regret it but I also have to think of the potential years down the road if I cant find a way to acquire an income. I can get by but I dont have a ton of money and if I run down my equity at 57, what happens if I make 70 with few assets?I have certainly not given up on the potential of a part time job, opening a tea shop or growing the ticket agency down the road. I do not wish to continue this 'forced retirement' that I have had for the past couple of years. I sold the paper became my mental state would no longer handle it and It was time but I have not truly dealt with those issue, getting ill not long after. I need to re a social life and that will not be easy. I have again faced some of the issue of real friendship as I have been ill. There are not many out there whom I can depend on. I am a more dependable friend that a number of those I thought I was closer to.
I am trying to help out one of my tenants who has been out of work for 4 months, due in part, I suspect to his 'alien' status in todays world. Need a yard or attic cleaned? Its not easy with two rents not coming in but I am doing it with a bit more caution. I look forward to the Spring garden season, if spring ever comes. I am about to try a whole new system called 'square foot gardening' where one builds 4x 4 boxes and plants 16 plants divided into each and builds new soil on top of the ground, in the boxes. This system can plant 80% of the plants in 20% of the space with a lot less work maintaining. It worth a try. I only have enough seeds to plant 3 neighborhhoods and 280 plants started in my planters. They are growing so fast, spring had better get hereso I can get them into the ground. we got the wood today. Now, its time to build, paint buy vermiculite, compost and peat and get to work.
Did I note that we will be sailing on the Queen Mary II the end of May to London? No, I dont know why the equity loan has diminished so quickly...not to mention the car croaking, painting the house and tuition. Gotta go get a lottery ticket.
Written by bobpublicover
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Wednesday, January 24, 2007
8:51:03 PM EST
Feeling Anxious
Hearing good advice for anyone in my position
Notes from a fine therapist
Hi, Bob. I'm so sorry to hear that you are so unhappy/depressed/anxious/exhausted/dispirited...all of that which I understand both from your email and from Dave's email and my conversation with him yesterday. It's hard to know where all of it is coming from, but I do know that you are having to face and come to terms with multiple losses, disappointments and realities that certainly can and do evoke all those feelings. I know you are struggling to understand how to manage your life right now, both respecting the progression of your illness and also challenging yourself to live as well as you can, within current realities. It's so hard to be facing such losses of control over life plans and activities. Your "fierce independence" seems both a strength and a liability to me, as you will need increasing levels of help (physical, emotional, spiritual, etc.) over time, I think, while still pursuing possibilities for more. The challenge of coming to terms with the present situation, while fighting for whatever other options and resources you might pursue is huge and exhausting. You will need much help and support. I encourage you to work with Dave (who wants so much to be of help - this will help him, also, as helplessness is such a troubling experience) to organize your thoughts and plans in the following areas: 1) pursue a second medical opinion as soon as possible, to get a clearer understanding of what's happening and what can be done to maintain quality of life as best as you can; 2) get a psych meds consult to see what dosages and types of medications will help energize and boost your mood as much as possible, without compromising your mental status and thinking abilities; 3) evaluate and track your energy levels over the course of a given day, with a goal of maximizing your use of "good" time and energy, pacing the day to include times of rest and times of activity. Some sort of routine may be helpful so you can do some planning and also respect and understand the fluctuating capacities of your mood/ spirit and your physical body; 4)identify and access as best as you can any and all resources, supports, assistance and good company; 5) take the time,as you see fit, to ensure that your affairs are in order, so as to lessen anxiety about things. 5) this seems to be a time of grief and loss as you grapple with the reality of your condition, work to accept and work with new limitations (physical and mental), without totally surrending to them, manage the shock of facing a potentially closer mortality, and factor in some healthy denial as you enjoy whatever brings you pleasure, day by day. Bob, please know that these are only ideas and recommendations in support of everything you are already doing....of course you and Dave are discussing all of this and making your own plans. Let me know how I can help more.
Written by bobpublicover
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Sunday, January 7, 2007
7:46:35 PM EST
Hearing the music of life
Journal # 2 AIDS - Through the years
This is a message to all who get notice of my entries in the AIDS Diaries. I have started another Journal called AIDS - through the Years which is an exact copy of the notebook journals I began to write in l992. Feel free to add it to the things that you are notified about when I write them and to send a link to anyone whom might have an interest. I wish I was doing a bit better right now but the reality of life sets in. Drop me a line, I need to get a social life back.
(A note to Stephanie...send me your email and to Bart, we will get to church.) Bob Publicover
AIDS - Through the Years
Written by bobpublicover
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Monday, January 1, 2007
5:40:44 PM EST
Feeling Anxious
Hearing background
Not a good time
When the Doctor pretty much tells you there isnt much more he can do, its not a fun announcement. My body has not only become resistent to the cocktail drugs, its crashing and not taking in nutrients properly. Ive gone from 124 to a bit over 90 pounds and the intestinal troubles continue...and they are not about to change. I could be a lot 'sicker' but this still isnt fun nor is looking at what the future may hold. Its scary and its despressing. I dont have much motivation lately but there is a lot of life still hiding inside of me and it cant seem to figure how to get out. Im still not exercising, meditating, praying, or the other things that might help me along. I just cant seem to get going; Too much tv and still little reading or writing or that Tai Chi I talk about. I really want to get to that AIDS life book that I have in my mind, mostly written up there.
My emotional state has not done well lately. I wanted to write my annual year end /beginning plan today but Im not up to it. We went out to dinner last nite. I never made it thorugh, having to tell David that we had to go before dessert or I was going to totally break down. This is not me. It has only happened a few times in my life. I didnt answer my Sister's midnite call because I didnt think I could hold up. We went to bed when we got home and watched good ol Dick Clark...he and a soothing cup of tea helped.
I've never had these break down incidents before but then again, Ive never been told that Im in real trouble nor been sick for so long either. Reality sets in. Im not the same me as I was over 20 years ago when this all began either. Im frustrated that Im not moving forward at all. Im now planning to take some of that hard earned money and go to Key West and a surprise resort with David. He is thinking of cutting back his hours by a day a week so that we can spend more quality time together. The two days we have are very cramped and rushed and dont work out very well. Its worth a try. I dont want him to keep working and then start nursing school with no time at home and suddenly discover that Im too sick to do anything. Thats not the way to tone down whatever it is we are dong or is going to happen.
I have friends who have been in pretty lousy shape for 10 years and go on. I may not quite be ready for the big blue casket just yet. I dont plan on throwing in any towels but I do need to get myself moving along a bit better. Perhaps I'll be looking back in 10 years and wondering what all the fuss was about. It was over 20 years ago that the Doc suggested I might have l8 months left. Ive watched several good Somerville citizens, much younger than me, on their way out in the past few weeks and that has not been fun either. I need to find a social life that disappeared when I first got into this trouble l8 months ago. I talk and talk about church but dont get there.
Im off to my nutritionist and perhaps to a chinese herbalist and may look up a consult in 'Best Doctors' to talk about any chance of things I can work on to do better.
I dont feel right but I wll give it my best. Write and say hi and send this Blog to someone new, maybe I can help someone else along the way.
Happy, healthy, prosperous, learning 2007.
Bob
Bob
Written by bobpublicover
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