desires

2:44:35 PM EST
Feeling Frustrated

well most of you will probably maybe fall off of your deskchairs ....BUT YESSSS it's nancy bk from my absence.....I am sooooo frustrated right now because i love to play online games and i've been having a lot of trouble getting into the gamerooms...WHEN I CAN GET IN THE GAMES!

I just got done chatting with my soon to be sis in law Cindy...she said it took her a long time just getting in to play FIRST CLASS SOLITAIRE,but alas she got through and got in. I gotta tell ya it is COLD outside todayvery cloudy and it looks just like snow....but if it does anything i look for ice!........I'm sooooooooooo happy now because my fiance is finally out of jail and is working,I have heard from him a time or two....but I can handle it because I know what he's doing and that he's thinking about me ....and this makes me forget my frustration

 My mother is so happy because we were all informed a few weeks ago ( by my baby sister JUDY) that she is pregnant and will be due on or around the 11th of june....She & her husband already have 1 adorable little angel ....her name is Margaret Elizabeth Fuller...she's 2 yrs old now and as many of u can probably guess .....she's also quite a handfull

You can sit down with maggie and ask her what she wants ( A BROTHER orA SISTER?) and she will tell you "MY DADDY WANTS ANOTHER GIRL!"....but my sister wants a little boy this time around because this is more likely to be their last child because she doesn't want anymore than twokids.

 I heard it from Paul with my own ears that he wants kids / that's 1 reason why he's working ....the other is so we can finally be together nevermore to ever be apart.

 I went to a christmas party lastnight and recieved something that i desperately needed ....A FLASHLIGHT!.....because when i get off the computer at night i have to make it half of the way up 15 or 25 steps in the dark so now i'll be able to see going up at night

  ok i guess i've talked your ears off enough so i will close for now but in closing i will add this ...Thank you all for reading my journal and thank you all for letting me read yours and I hope you will consider me a friend to you all for I already consider you all as MY FRIENDS...god bless each and every one of you and if I don't see you before january 2008 let me be the first to wish you all

the merriest of christmases & the happiest of new years! i love you all

               MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL& HAPPY NEW YEAR...Nancy ,,Cindy's sister inlaw

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1:26:59 PM EDT
Feeling Chillin'
Hearing classic dico

okay once again it's me bravesgirl1965 ( you all can call me nancy) i'm so sorry it has taken me a while to write but things around this place have bee haywire the last few times i've tried to get on here and do anything grrrrrrrrrrr

I haven't forgotten my jland friends though....ty to all who have been thinking about my mother Linda Bradbury....she's doing lots better but still has a long way to go because the drs still have not ruled out a heartattack  ( and she's had 2 of them already....and she's only 60)......anyhow i just thought that getting on here to post an entry would help me to get my mind off of worring over her for a few minutes at least...Right?

my father told her yesterday that he would take off from work if need be....wellll that did not go over with momma ...."YOU LISTEN TO ME HONEY WE NEED THE INCOME ....BILLS NEED TO GET PAID AND THWEY WON'T IF YOU DON'T WORK"....the woman is sick herself and all she is concerned with is that the bills get paid and my dad goes to work.....she is getting a surprise today.....my dad is good friends with the florist ARLEE WINTERS and he's going to get her a dozen roses ( assorted colors)

okay now on  more pleaseant note to me ...I got a beautiful letter from my knuckleheaded boyfriend PAUL (emabecmar's baby brother) he said that he was sorry for being as ugly in his last letter to me ....at least i know he loves me !cuz he said he did ....he's just getting edgy over his stint in prison being close to over.....I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!

well that's all for now i'll try to write somemore later ....love to all my jland friends and god bless you all for thinking of my momma ...it means a lot to me

GOD BLESS THE BEST GROUP IN THE LAND.....NANCY

oh and i totally forgot to mention that today she turns 61 years old...happy birthday momma!!!!

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11:08:35 PM EST
Feeling Frustrated
Hearing soft rock

Once again it's me....yes tardy is my middle name and i am famous for just that.hahhah....I had a dental appoiuntment today that was so very much such a letdown....instead of  getting the teeth out i get told that one of them only has to come out and the other one may be saved by having it filled.Now don't get me wrong i'm no stranger to filled teeth i've had it done before but i do wish the dentist had at least tried to pull the tooth he said had to be pulled  sheesh!

 I get home from the dentist and we tell my mom what dr,meritt said and that he did not a thing except to take x-rays of the inside of my mouth ....just what you all wanted to know ....Nottttt....I'm just so disgusted right now that i don't know what to do....I did come back home to something that made me happy only it made me wanna smack him good but the important thing is that i know he loves me and he knows i love him ....very much with everything i have got inside me

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9:49:05 PM EST
Feeling Mischievous
Hearing NONE

11 years ago when I first began my online chatting I went into a pogo bingo room and I met the sweetest most wonderful caring person in the world ...She was the first person to say hello to meand welcome me to the wonderful world  of online ....her name then was privategator....since then she has taken on two internet ids....she still has PRIVATEGATOR but is better known to most onere as EMABECMAR.....yup you all guessed right shes my loving beautiful sissy Cindy Sawn & she is also the best friend that I could have ever asked god to bless me with.and I wuvs me sissy a lotttt!

Anyway time went on and we were in a game together and we were talking amongst ourselves and she casually mentionedthat her brother was in a va prison and hardly had anyone to corespond with other than her and she asked me if I wouldn't mind writing to him if she gave me the address.I wrote to him and was both a little shocked and very surprised when he wrote me back and requested that we keep on writing to each other. Well we soon found out after three monthes...thanks sissy ...that we were falling each with the other head over heels in love with one another and we both love this beautiful laddy named cindy for it

Paul william Smith & Nancy Lou Bradbury are both very lucky that she pushed us into writing to each other because he said he had been so lonely for so long and it bothered her that he was in this place with literally no one who cared for him ....Their mother passed away when my lovong fiancee was just 3 -6 mothes old and it hurt her badly .She literally raised her baby brother and did a great job ....thank you cindy....

I write this with so many happy thoughts in my heart and lots of love and admiration for one of the only two people on this earth who love me for who I am and who I want to become .....my only hope ? TO MAKE THEM HAPPY

Thanks for always being around for me girl and letting me bug you and talk your ears off .Here'sto another 11 more years together hopefully as sisters in law....I LOVE YOU GIRL.....you're a very special christmas angel

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9:41:26 PM EST
Feeling Mischievous
Hearing no music tonight
well it's time for me to make adire attempt to get my sister in law back in my good graces.I realize it has been AGES since my last entry, so i hope you will forgive me . Cindy is right about one thing ....that being my fondness for talking about my family and my true love ( her baby brother ....MY REDS Paul). I got a letter from him just the other day and in it he talks about how he wishes he could get me a birthday gift or how he can get me a christmas present ...I told him that all i cared about was that I had his love and his heart and that as long as I had those 2 things well...then I have everything that i could ever want or hope to have ....until he's released next year....then he'll be free to love me the wayhe deserves to love his girl. I'm ready for christmas and we are gonna put up our tree on the 16th of december...whch is only a few days off.I'm in the process of writing "REDS" a reply to his letter this week...he'll like that....once again i'm sorry to all who have been looking for a new entry in here and were disappointed to log on and find that there was not one made....i'll try hard to put new entries in here in the future

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12:46:17 AM EST
Feeling Happy
Hearing SOFT ROCK

on friday morning oct.20th  my parents my sister & I loaded up the car and headed out to tennessee to visit with mybrother and his family.We left friday at 5am and got to Kingston springs at 3pm .

After we arrived we checked in and got freshened up before going to james'home to visit.....later that same evening we brought some kfc for dinner and we had a nice family dinner. After which my brother and i went for a walk and had a very long discussion and that's when it happened....He told me that if Paul waswhatit took to get me happy then I should by all means go after him

that was friday .....Saturday we took james chas and the girls shopping.....hegot two shirts an some jeans she got shoes and the girls all got an outfit shoes and a halloween costume plus my dad got them some candy......Saturday night we took james chas and the girls out to eat...and as is alwaysthe case with children they ended up misbehaving....it was embarassing.Oh mannnnn, you guys should see these kids in their costumes for halloween.... Alaysha Age:9 will be a bride,Savannah Age:6 will be a fairy princess, and the twins lizzie and kimmie will be dressed like little witches and they are soooooooo cute.

My dad got pictures and as much as i'd like to show them off i  an't because i don't havethem on a disc:-( .....Thesekids are very energetic and fast......but my mom is happy and so is my dad because they have seen their girls.....It's now sunday morning oct.22nd andthe day that we set out for home....before breakfast we stop to visit thwe kids one last time and my brother wishes me well and tells me that when i write Paul to tell him he is sorry for passing judgment and that he hopes that he will accept his apology.I hugged his neck and with tearsin my eyes i thanked him.

Someday these two men will come face to face with each other and i just know they will be the best of friends and brothers in law

         THE END.....comments welcome as always...and i ty

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10:44:31 PM EDT
Feeling Worried
Hearing none

hi everyone,,,,how are you all doing?I know I know it HAS been a very long time lapse since my last journal entry....and little things have happened that prompt me to write in this tonight...I am sort of sad and affraid ( actually scared stiff) my boyfriend : the man i love most in this world ....just wroteme today and i was happy and ecstatic....until....I opened up the envelope pulled out the 4pg. letter and read it.

Paul thinks that I don't wanna see him because it's taking longer than we both had anticipated for me to gert things situated andorganized enough to the point where I could go up and visit with him. Now I have told him that "yes i do love you & yes darling I do wanna be with you" but i also told him that it was taking melonger this time because i am low on money and transportation.....well generous to his fault as he is , Paul found the number of a place with a bus that can pick me up and take me to the prison then bring me back home.....but the problem is that theyt wanna do a complete lol (search of my own history)before they will even thinkof letting me see him.HOW COOL WAS THAT????I  have a new picture for paul.....you all recall my soon to be sis in law'spicture of her wearing "THE TRAVELING NECKLACE"right? Well that very blouse she has on in that picture is the SAME shirt that I am wearing for paul's picture...I am just so out of it tonight that i don't know what to do about myself.Cindy told me she was writing in her own journal tonight and I thought that if I came in and started writing out my feeling that I would kinda feel better about things....I do a little but I also know that it won't takelong and i'll start feeling bad allover again....I really think that necklace she got to wear for a week or what have you ...is very pretty& it sure made cindy look beautiful .

Girlyou know that i love you ( we're sisters) lolhow could I not?thank you for standing by me the way that you always do....you're always there to lend a shoulder to cry on (when i need it) an ear to talk off too as well.....I LOVE YA GIRL:-) ALL comments are welcome...

            here is one of my favorite comfort food recipes....my mom makes them to cheer me up .....

                                 PREACHER COOKIES

2 cups sugar

1/4 cup cocoa

1/2 cup milk

1/4 lb butter

1tblsp peanut butter

1 tsp vanilla extract

3 cups oats

boil for 2 minutes (1st four ingredients) add peanut butter , vanilla, & oats. Stir  well & drop onto waxpaper with a teaspoon and let stand until cooled*****this recipe is GOOD****

thanks for listening and please DO try the cookie recipe

       

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9:04:22 PM EDT
Feeling Surprised
Hearing soft rock

well today has been a great day for me....my parents told me that they talked to my brother and he promised that he'd be civil to me and he wouldn't put down my relationshlp with Paul. I wouldn't let him anyhow.....I got a letter from my handsome guy yesterday though and he said that he loves the new place he's at now.

He is 7 hrs closer to me than he was....which makes me very happy....the only thing that doesn't make me very happy is knowing that i'm coming down with a bad headcold....Paul's just getting over one that he had and i'm not going to give it to him over again. I am sorry it has taken me so long to get an entry in this  ....but here i am and here it is....hahahaha better late than never RIGHT?

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12:04:57 AM EDT
Feeling Anxious
Hearing classic roc

I wrote paul today and i talked about everything under the sun vertually....everything thart is except my upcoming vaction. I haven't told him about it for fear that he will worry himself ill about me because he knows that as of late i have not been getting along with my brother and i can't stand my middle sister right now.

Now there ias a person who really needed a lesson in who she could badmouth and who the hell she can't.two weeks ago I got into a sort of a catfight with her over paul....She opened up her skanky mouth one dang time too many and i shut it for her really fast

I knocked her on her patooty too and told her that she was no danged better than our asshole of a brother was becasuse she felt the need to get in my face andproceed to tell me Paul was not the  man that 'SHE' wanted me tobe with....i told her that if she had any senseshe would takeher attitude and her holier than thou stuff and get away from me with it but she just kept it up and BAMMMM!

I gave her a left hook she'll neverbe able to forget too soon...do I have a temper?....I ama natural born redhead so you tell me.Anywy after I go to tennessee and come back then is when i will tell him about it  I wanna go and see if I can reason with my baby brother ...if I can't well at least i will have made the honest effort right?

I am really looking forward though to seeing my beauties ( the twins)

ty all for listening to a know nothing vent ....( a little joke on my part) there's lots that i know like I love my family both here and in philly you all take care and i hope you all feel free to read these enteries and respond to any or all ofthem ....comments are welcome

 

 

 

 

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11:14:22 PM EDT
Feeling Quiet
Hearing classicrock

tonight i'm just relaxingn andwritng in my journal....I have a private journal that i keep in my room under lock and key ....so nobody can pry in my personal stuff.....I have a bunch of nosey assed ppl with whom i have to live and believe me folks ....IT AIN'T EASY  one little bit

sometimes i find myself wanting to pack my clothes upand just walk out the freakin door and just never give this life a second glance......oh sure i love my family ( or at least certain membersof em) but they DO have a profound way of getting on your nerves and driving you abolutely bonkers . I love to just get alone by myself  and letmy hair down and just be me. I wrote my handsome fiance the other day and I told him that my parent's were planning on a trip to nashville to go and visit my brotherand the kids

well my soon to be sister in law Cindy Sawn can tell you stories of my father and my brother the likes of which you will Never be able to comprehend without actuallybeing there to witness it...my brother is such a smartass that he really thinksthat he can sit on his holier than thourearend and tell me what I should do with MY life....people let me tell you ....ut uhhhhh no damned way life ain't like that  and i told him that....I said james you don't KNOW Paul so how dare you stand there and tell me that YOUdon't think he's right for me!!!!!

really now .....level with me please .....somebody please (for the love of god above) please  tell me how one person can have the absolute nerveto actually talk about someone that they just do not even know?! okay now i need to calm myself down and appolygize for yelling .....so here it is folks i'm sorry i yelled like that.....comments are greatly appreciated  andvery muchwelcomed I love my JLAND neighbors each and everyone......muahhhhh to you all NANCY

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