Journal To "Kay's Backyard Nest"

Im going to be deleting this journal. there's alot on here that I spoke about that I did wrong. I dont want to delete good feelings about the ex or all my chicken stuff, but its ok I can start over.

Im trying to get the ex back. Ive confessed alot. Ive realized alot. Havent taken depression meds at all this year.

Anyone is welcome to email me at BtmChickenLady@aol.com

Im online daily. I start a new job tomorrow at a pet shop right down the road. Making $6.65hr.

You can also reach me on myspace. just send me a message who u are so I know to add u. http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=95796561 

Im trying to make things better in my life. I want to thank everyone who has been here for me!!! *hugs* and Keep In Touch!!

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farm show was great.

here's a link to my thread with the pictures I took. Enjoy.

http://p098.ezboard.com/Im-leaving-for-the-PA-Farm-Show-at-4PMPICS/fbackyardchickensfrm11.showMessage?topicID=10652.topic

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so I've been fighting a fever on and off since sunday. I didnt take any medicine overnight last night and woke up this morning with one. 100.2 Well I took something else and went back to sleep. Woke up sweating, but feeling pretty damn good and able to breath. Aleve cold and sinus! So yeah I slept til 1130 today. John called a bit ago at a suprise to tell me he moved all the animals except Snickers my dog! Wow I didnt expect that. He had to stop and go to work. Had to be there at 1pm. He came over here yesterday for awhile from 2-5pm. I felt like shit, but its still nice to have the company.

I think I slept after he left. Ive been sleeping in my dad's bed when he's at work. I washed all his blankets and sheets too. Im having space issues with the couch, so it isnttoo comfy to me right now. This morning I heard my dad get up to shower, he he I crawled in his bed. He came back to get his glasses and I was giggling. He doesnt care.

Dad'll be here at 4pm. some of us are going to the Farm Show together. I was originally going with my hospital roomate, but her kids are sick. I dont care that Im sick, Im friggen going! It ends saturday. My batteries are already charging, taking my camera!! Gonna get my dear daddy to buy me some potato donuts too LOL. Oh yeah I emptied my bank account yesterday to get cellphone minutes. I have $3 left! WOW...ha ha.

I guess one of these days I need to go to John's house and sort out them chickens. I have so manythat need sold. Getting tempted to just start giving them away! I told him if he sells them for me he can have the $ in return for the feed. Logical.

Well I need to get my butt up. Go with the flow and get a shower. Calling for rain here tomorrow. YUCK!

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Damn I thought it was saturday.

John didnt get mal mal last night. When he got to the kennel the kennel girl(that I previously fired, but they called her back to temp replace me) saw John and shesaid she didnt know if the boss' were there either. Went up to the barn and called Donna. Leslie called me. I didnt answer. Then John talked to her onthe phone and he just said he didnt know what was going on, he didnt want drug into it. That my dad called and asked him to bring my kitten up(which was a lie, i did but O well). She told him and me, nothing is leaving the house until they are home and I call her. I "dont have the curtosy to tell them what is going on myself", and that Im running my mouth to everyone else. Legally I can get what I want of mine there. I live there. This wkend I am going to get my cat, a few things I need like a new pair of contacts and solution........SAVING John is talking to me.

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Can't say today has been too good either. 2am I had another anxiety attack. felt weird and dealt with chest pain for 45min to an hour. John was here 730pm to 1am. then stayed up with metil I was done text messageing from my cell til it was over. He wanted to drive BACK up LOL. well I woke up around11am. throat feels weird, I dont exactly feel right/the greatest. Last night was nice that he came, I got relief over me, felt better. we talked about alot. Still didnt tell him about Michael though. It was nice to spend time with him. After dad got home and we talked to dad an hour, we left for walmart. I got phone minutes and some medical tape to cover me back up for showering. Then we were both hungry and went across the street and got a lil something to eat. was only $11 bill, breakfast food. Their coffee sucked, he agreed. then we waited over 15 minutes and the girl never brought thecheck. Tap tap tap went my foot. Well......I said we're leaving andwalked up to the register. Girl saw us up there, quick pulled her tablet out and just told the cashier the total. Cashier asked how things were and I said "alright except for waiting for the check". I was ignorant. No tip for her last night.

So I napped again about 215pm to 330pm. Woken up by Leslie the boss again. I didnt answer. She left a voicemail saying she still wanted to talk to me to call. U can still hear it in her voice. John got some animals. Im not sure yet, other than 2 of the cats and guinea pigs. He's online now trying to email me pics and update me on that. I had a huge smile when he sent 1st batch of pics though. makes me feel good. He wrote "stinky and shadow  are lovin it here  just like they never  left its great".

Saving....

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Ive not been doing too good today. taking a break on the update thing. Im depressed. Ive been fine, just stressed, but now Im depressed. Ive been sitting online wit John for 2hrs talking. trying to talk some things out. he wants me to go wit him to counseling. Also talking to him about my animal situation. He's going right now to get Mal Mal. THe bad thing is,is no one is answering the phone at the kennel. I told him I dont think anyone is there. I always just had him walk in te house, because when someone comes there, u cant hear them knock on the door. so I told himif they dont answer the door, no one os there, to walk in the doorway and just call for Mal Mal. Then he doesnt have to be gallavanting through the house. I dont know what else to do or what they expect me to do.

Leslie(boss) called earlier around 4pm. I was sleeping. AGAIN. said Im to call her. she wants to know what is going on. She dont want to hear it from John, My Dad or Chris the kennel help. She wants to talk to me. Well since she called earlier(btw I dont answer my phone for her now), Ive been worked up. Dont know how to calm down about it. Friends have advised me to just stay away from there until I feel better.

So I guess Johns driving te hour up hereto spend some time with me. We'll see how that goes. Sorry I dont talk much about animals, but how am I supposed to, when I dont know much of what is going on. This sux.

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Im going to roll back a few weeks, to explain my health. I believe it was the night of Dec.15th I got sick for a week. December 19th I got paid(my last paycheck). I had worked that day and afterword my friend Tim, always took me on payday to cash my paychecks. Well I wasnt even at the bank and started picking up my voicemails( I dont get cell service at the kennel where I live). My younger sister had her baby!!!! Well change of plans, we werent going xmas shopping, we took a roadtrip up home here to Hershey Medical Center. Gavin Lucas S. 6lbs 7.2oz 19 1/2inches. That was the only time I got to see him. The following day i worked all day. Then that friday morning around 1-130am I wokeup in severe pain. Where my appendix is. So I took forever in climbing the stairs, woke my boss up and she took me to the hospital. As short a story as I can make it........630am I finally got put in a room. 7pm they finally did surgery on me. before surgery they had found a cyst on my right ovary. They had 4 ideas on what to do with me. One idea being they med me for an infection and send me home. I said NO, your doing the WHO-DO-YAC-ALLIT and going in looking to find the problem. Good for me cause I went in with a fever of 104, also an infection, right ovary was twisted and adheaved to my uterus and I have endometriosis. They took my right ovary. Stitches on my belly button. Cut me (like having a c-section) and stapled me shut. Im self conscious of my belly and below right now. Its very unappealing to me. Getting the sticky junk from the tape and the Iodine off is a b*tch Still working on it, but got mostof it off. SOOOOO......December 24th I told them I wanted released. They sent me home (330pm) on vicodin, 6wks pelvic rest. Not aloud to lift more than 10lbs 1st 2 wks, no driving 1st 2 wks, no sex for 6wks. That means NO WORK, NO MONEY.

Saving to continue on what has happened since.

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Wow alot has changed. I need to update the side of this page.

Well I decided Im going back to journaling, at least for a few weeks. I have nothing better to do, Im outta work for a month. I'll get to that today. I'll do another entry then. Forgive my typos, as I find I make alot lately. I cannot add pics because Im not on my own computer. I'm staying an hour north in Harrisburg, PA at my dad's. So you all will have to live :) It's currently 26* with a wind chill of 16* today. I dont know thogh, cause I dont go outside much. Calling for a high of 28* and low of 17* tonight.

At my dad's it's really quiet. He lives in the city, but in a decent part, right outside the city in Paxtang, but still HBG address. The only noise I have to deal with is the ambulance and firehouse are right next to/acros from dad. At night though the ambulance is good about it and just turns their lights on right here. The firehouse though, they cant control when that firealarm goes off, butI guess its not too bad, kinda get used to it. My brother whom is 18 lives here with my dad. He's graduated and works with my dad. So no one is hardly here, they're workaholics. And If I hadnt previously mentioned however long ago, i like and enjoy my quiet, long as I dont get too lonely.

Im going to save this and then I will update u on why Im at my dad's.

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I'm dyin to spill!! Imma be leaving John soon. Going back to work at the kennel in return for a place for me and my animals to stay and a little extra cash. They are actually the ones that said it, that's how much they want me and like me. It's gonna be hard and I'm scared, but I know it is what's best for me to make me happy. No more tolerating bullshit from assholes anymore. I don't have a car, but I'm sure they'll let me use one of theirs. They did before. Owner said yesterday, "you're one of the only people I trust around here." Next week we are gonna sit down and try to comprimise something. Long as my animals and I have food and I can still see my friends some, I'll be happy. I'm just praying this all works out.

Haven't been home too much lately. Hate being here so I hang out with friends in town. I have my new kitty. Her name is Mahalia or MalMal for short. She's a lovebug. Well that's all for now : )

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back to the kitty~ HAZEL.

I got denied. Reason #1 being who my vet is. And guess what I chewed back about it. That's personal preference. Reason #2 is below after the lady and I got further into conversation when I told her fine I'll go somewhere else.......you don't have to read the whole thread, it is rather long, at least read the first post.

http://p098.ezboard.com/fbackyardchickensfrm11.showMessage?topicID=10185.topic

I cried a good bit about it and I think of the cat every day, how badly I want to see her and that I don't want her put down. I did however finally find another cat that got my attention. I have to wait 2-3 weeks for her, but here she is......

I passed up several kittens all week. None just seemed to be it.

Tomorrow John and I are going to Ocean City MD for the day(beach!!) I am very excited, I can tell he is now too. We want to get there around sunrise. Going with my dad, brother and preggo sis. John's exstepson is feeding for me.

Sunday is the chickenstock!! picnic/buy-sell-trade. Gonna be a long weekend LOL. Lots of traveling, hell alone the beach is 175 miles.

I got a new lionhead buck! He'll be ready to use in December if I want. I got eggs coming this week and also going out. I got till the end of September to hatch, trying to quick get every last thing I want.

John has been spending time with me and also being loveable...PLUS! : )

That's all for now that I can think of...have a great weekend everyone....and I will have TONSSSSS of pics when I come back! *woot*

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