Inside the Mind

There is a world within myself of uncertanties, unhealthiness, and quandries.  I am only human. I have buttons that get pushed, goats that get got, and a desire to be amazingly awesome at all times.

One specific person in my life currently brings out the worst in me.  She intentionally antagonizes, berates, and insults in an effort to feed her little narcissistic self-will-run-riot. It's not often I want to pulverize someone to such a degree as I do her.  This causes a spiritual, moral, and emotional rollercoaster in my being.  The thoughts of ill-will toward her go against everything that defines who I am and how I live.  Do I berate myself for these ill thoughts and feelings towards her? Do I acknowledge them, dismiss them, and move on?  Do I ignore them in a past-time of prayer, hoping that God will remove them from me?  Where is the balance of being human and giving over to God? How can I achieve this? Am I indulging in selfish delight when I give definition to these thoughts & feelings?  Can I not bash her up-side the head with the 2x4 of appreciation? How to get her heart to melt? How to motivate God to move faster in her life so that my life will be a little easier?

Until we meet again...

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