Kiss of a Butterfly

4:55:21 AM EDT

This weekend is  race weekend in my town... One of the most popular race tracks -Bristol ,TN(Fastest quarter mile). The place I work at is right off the interstate, about 4 miles from the track... Which means , of course, LOTS of buisness... So let's see... People started getting here last friday....  Wednesday was the truck race , and we got busy at like 11 pm (supposed to close at midnight) So we stayed open until 1 am, and thats when the last person came through.Thursday wasn't too bad... Today I was originally supposed to close (which would be 3 am ) , but was asked to come in 2-10, possibly close....  I should've never been there so early. Today was qualifying and the small night race (250 I think?), so it wasn't TOO busy , until right when I headed home, iot picked up. I wanted to stay over and work until close, but since I already have 47 hours, they wouldn't let me get anymore overtime. Tomorrow I close, so we will probably be busy ....  It's the night race then they head home.  It really  hasn't been near as bad as I expected.

I recieved snail mail from Lisa today (My first maile ever from California lol)> It was on beautiful BUTTERFLY stationary!! OH, speaking of.... I recieved post cards from a couple people a while back... I will be sending one out  this week, I PROMISE,... At the time I did't get out ANYWHERE to buy some, and lately have been to work and home , that's it.. But I haven't forgotten and will do that this week.. Also, if anyone else would like to exchange postcards, just leave me a comment and we will xchage info in email.. OK, I'm really tired.. I know I've rambled (I had a real reason to write, which I forgot due to tiredness lol)

 So I will be back later after I've had sleep lol

 

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4:08:00 PM EDT

I found this little quiz in Cathy's Journal, so thought I'd try it..... Here were my reults:

 

 

Now my co-workers can rest.... Not MUCH of a chance of me going postal on them lol

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2:45:14 AM EDT

Hello !! I actually came back soon....  I wanted to mention a new friend I have made who is also in J-Land. her name is... Lisa , and here is her journal link (though I think many of you already read her ). She seems like a really nice person!

  So, the other reason I brought her up is because she and I are in the same line of work, kind of, and we were discussing rude customers... That leads me to my topic.

 I didn't have any rude customers today.. Most of my customers are quite friendly, though there is always an exception .(and race weekend is coming up so I'll be dealing with ALL types lol)

SO here's my problem.... Co- workers who think they are better than you, or can boss you around, and their rank is no higher than you!! Ok, let's get this straight.. I have no problem with authority (from proper authority figures) , nor with CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.but when it comes  to nit picking- I can only take SO much!!!

So there's this girl.. who shall remain nameless since u never can tell who might come across this journal... and I think she's been there a while... But, overall she's a decent person.. But ever since my first week.. she's found little things to bug me about.. For instance..The coffee pots.. have this lil thingy you take out, well i asked if i had to take it out while brewing coffee (it has a lil hole) the team MANAGER told me no.... so im brewing.. and Lil Miss Think she KNows it ALL came from her area to MINE and told me I was doing it wrong, and started taking the thingy out.. I stood there, debated telling her to go back to where she was supposed to...Instead, smiled, said nicely "well...... I was told to do it this way" her reply was "whoever told u that was wrong "... Mhmm..  I replied "well, his name tag says manager on it" and made a point to look at hers (which of course does NOT say that) then I said but of course we can ask Steve... (the store manager .. who likes me lol) and I left her standing there with the coffee..  So today I was stuck working with her... At first all was well, so I felt kinda bad for thinking illy of her... Well, not for long lol. She kept crowding me trying to take over, acting like I didn't know what I was doing. THAT pisses me off MAJORLY! I keep my mouth shut and a smile on my face though.. Until 4 hours later and I feel like smashing her face in (a rare feeling for me lol). Before I left management told me to make sure noone needed anything. Well, my dad's ouside waiting for me, and he hates to have to wait .... So, I ask.. generally everyone says they need nothing. But, it was HER... Told me she needed more coffee made (I'd made one pot and left one), and for me to take trash out!!! which was NOT my duty today. I looked at the clock it was like 3 mins till time to clock out.I looked at her a minute, and said "I'm feeling nice today, so I will do this for you"(Though I wasn't) SHe said it was MY job.. I got the job list.. Showed her, nope it wasn't.... But I would anyways because I'm nice like that. I took out trash, came back... Told her to have a great day, then added I would greatly appreciate it if next time we work together, she lets me do my job myself unless I ask for help because I'm quite capable....  I'm usually not so........ easily to upset... But Im under stress, and I hate people acting like I dont know what I'm doing..... But it's all good - my managers love me, and one's already mentioned me getting into management (think i mentioned that last night?). Oh well I'm done venting...  Hope everyone has a great night (day)!!

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10:21:50 PM EDT I've been MIA for a month.. I didn't realize it had been that long!! So where Have I been? Well, first it was an addiction to a yahoo game called Graffiti. (It's like win, lose or draw)- or Pictionary.. ANd... I finally got a job... WHo thus far doesn't believe in days off lol. Today is my 9th day in a row...  It's not the job I really would have wanted, but considering my situation I needed what i could get, FAST. Plus its only .08 of a mile from where I live, so with not having a car it's no problem getting to work. On an upside, I've been there a week and the manager has already talked to me about getting into management. I have to be there for 6 months before I can though.. So we shall see what happens. Everything is going well with me and Dave, which with me working and him too, we dont see a whole lot of each other other than bed time.. But I can't wait until I'm able to get my own place. Funny, at first I didn't wanna get a place all alone... Now, I think I will like it - For a while anyways lol. But anyhow, just wanted to update on my whereabouts.. I will be back soon !!!

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2:40:49 AM EDT

I was looking at John's  weekend assignment (which I haven't done in a long time), and noticed the assignment is easy, yet interesting. The assignment is to google your pet's name and see what comes up. Since I've googled my name before , this is a new twist...

  My pet is a Chiuahua named Runt...

 Here's her results:

 

 -The reset USB Network Tester..

 

Apparantly there was a recall on Wysco's "Runt" mini bicycles..

And that was pretty much all I found..

The bonus assignment was any odd named pets I've ever had...  I don't think any of my pets had odd names... My first dog was Pierre (female dog), my first -and only- cat was Bojangles (from the song Mr.Bojangles..Later had a dog named Jake (from the song Feed Jake), then we got a Lhasa Apso and my mom named it Dusty after Dusty Springfield.. We all just assumed the dog was a female.. Turned out HE isn't,  but Dusty still works.. My pit bull I had was named India (she was Brendal and looked like a lions, and that's where they originate from) Runt... I would've never named her that, but she was already named when she was given to me.... OH!! And I do have a picture of her.... (Not very good, taken on cheap dig cam)

         Ok, I don't... everytime I try to paste it on here (because I am on aim and don't know how to upload photos like I did on AOL), it shows up until I hit save, then- POOF -gone.

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2:24:07 AM EDT

I also borrowed this from Lahoma's Journal... I thought it would be fun and interesting...

So how does it work? Ask me anything, anything at all (In comment section)- and I will answer the questions in my next entry..

Leave your link of you decide to play too, and start asking away.....

  I'm waiting.. Comeon, I know there's something you wanna know!! Lol

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2:18:15 AM EDT

Strip searched actually - a story for another time

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters? 

NO!! that always makes me feel sick 

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?

I hate sleeping alone, but I won't sleep with just ANYONE 

5. Do you believe in ghosts?

Dunno if I believe in ghosts, but I do believe in spirits (and NO, I don not mean alcohol!)

6. Do you consider yourself creative?

Yep

7. Do you think O. J. Simpson killed his wife?

If the glove fits...


8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?

Now, why can't that say Tom Cruise or George Clooney??


9. Do you stay friends with your exes?

I did with one - the one I'm back with now

10. Do you know how to play poker?

Kinda... Can't do the poker face thing though, I grin real big or start laughing when I have a good hand

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

Yes, and no drugs involved, it was when I first found the wonderful world of AOL ....

12. What's your favorite commercial?

Hmm I dont watch enough tv to have one..
13. What are you allergic to?

cats,pork and grass
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?

I've been known to...
 
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?

Most likely..
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?

What about 'em?
 

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating? 

Nope.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?

Almost always - I have very vivid dreams
 
19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?

about 3 months ago 

20. Can you name 5 songs by the Beatles?

Honestly? If I stole Lahoma's answers ,yes.. But the only one I actually remember is Lucy In the Sky

21. What's the one thing on your mind right now?

Not a whole lot for once (until I go to try and sleep like always lol)
 

22. Do you know who Ghetto-ass Barbie is?

ummm NO 

23.Do you always wear your seat belt?

Yes 
24. What cell service do you use?

None


25. Do you like Sushi?
nope, tried it once, was told I turned green..
26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
oh yes, just this past April
27. What do you wear to bed?

nothing, or a t-shirt.. Too HOT to wear clothes!

28. Been caught stealing?

Yes... I was 14 and wanted a tube of mascara (even though I had money to buy it) Silly me told mom not to look in the bag while I payed for my stuff, she saw it in a different bag with that store's sticker on it - she made me give it to the manager, apologize and I got everything I bought that day taken away for like a year

29. What shoe size do you have?

6 - 6 1/2 (altho a pair of my sandles is size 4 in kids)

30. Do you truly hate anyone?

hmm. I'm not supposed to hate anyone, so as close as it can get without hating them, yes.. just one person

31. Classic Rock or Rap?
both

32. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?

now why would I want to?? Think of all the other people they have slept with.. I dont want sloppy seconds.. They can go out to dinner though and let me parade em around my friends lol

33. Favorite song?

Currently?Bob Carsliel (sp)'s Butterfly Kisses
 

34. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror?

Why sure, I sing and dance in front of it.. well, I did when I was a teenager anyways

35. What food do you find disgusting?

Sushi

36. Do you sing in the shower?

nah I quit doing that when I was a teenager and my dad was laughing when I came out of the bathroom- you dont realize how loud you are (and out of tune) with the water running..
 

37. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours?"

No.. I was a good girl

38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?

No, I just laugh with them... 
39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?

Yes
40. Have you ever been punched in the face?

This girl in highschool punched me in the eye... I didn't feel it though!! I just walked off from her - never was much of a fighter

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5:06:13 AM EDT

                

Have you ever felt like you weren't good enough? Unappreciated,like you can't do anything right?

That's how I have felt today. It started earlier today.. Dave decided to start some of the cleaning his mom wanted done while he's on vacation this week. She was due home in an hour, and I suggested we wait until tomorrow (now technically today)so she could come home to it all being done. Besides, we were supposed to go to the park.He didn't see my point of view on the matter.. Here was my thing: days I wanted him to help me clean, he would just play his ps2 games or whatever. Did I complain? Nope...And, things his mother said she's asked him to do for a year, I did it (with no thank you), and when I first started staying here this place needed a  major overhaul. I made big improvements and it's stayed that way. But what do I get? it thrown up in my face that I didn't wake up early and that because I don't have a job, and everyone else does..... You get the picture.. But the  HOT point for me was when my mom called and David started talking about me and stuff to her. I went off!!  I went downstairs to clean his room (still haven't heard him say it looks good)while he vaccumed... After his mom got home, I overheard her tell him I need to change my tune.. Which means he said something to her about it all.Funny how I hear the things I'm not supposed to

A little later he came down wanting me to go out with him. I finally gave in.. Here he was acting like nothing ever happened.. But bed time came, I didn't get a hug or kiss (I'm big on all the affection stuff at bedtime and not going to bed angry), and he said it's because of how I acted earlier... EXCUSE me??We'd been getting along for the past 7 hours!! Move on, already! So I proceeded to let him know I heard what his mother said about me..(when he said I was cleaning his room, she said "well there's 5 other rooms to be cleaned") And I explained to him how I , I alone - do ALL the cleaning here, and I never get a "the house looks good, or thank you" I am grateful she is letting me stay here, more than she knows, and it's even understandable I'm expected to not let the house look like a cyclone hit it (which I dont), but I still feel like I should be shown appreciation for doing it..That's all I want. He said he'd straighten it out... Don't Bother, the way I see it.. I also explained to him that ever since I've been through all the crap I have, that I still have a soft heart, but if  I feel like I'm being pushed away or I'm unwanted, I will shut down, so I don't get hurt... And that's how I feel he was today.Of course, he said I am wanted - but still no kiss, just turning over and going asleep..

I HATE feeling this way!!! And he wonders why I can't sleep at night... But am I overreacting??? Oh, well ... Had to vent lol. I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day (BETTER be!!)

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3:41:57 AM EDT

I've went a couple of days without updating,mainly because I have been addicted to a game called Literati, and can you imagine- Dave is on vacation, but we haven't really done anything yet.Tomorrow we are supposed to go to Bays Mountain (which we've been supposing to do for almost 3 mths lol),so we shall see.I will write more later (seeing as it's already the am hours) or tomorrow.I just wanted to check in, and leave you with a little poem that I found cute, yet true..

Sleepy is the little fellow who runs around in your brain,Pushing your To Sleep or NOT to sleep buttons.Now, there is a button in the middle that may give you trouble,so it is a good idea to stay clear of it.Now, the name of the button is Drowsy.If at times he pushes that one, you can very easily get a Wowsie. If he pushes hard on the TO Sleep button,you will get a good night's sleep. Perhaps in a dream deep,deep,deep.If he pushes the Not To Sleep button
You may stay up all night
And ask yourself, 'What do I do next? '

February 1,2006, Clarence A. Graham, Jr.

* for those who got multiple alerts, I am sorry - my entry wasn't showing up correcty on my end (only showed the poem)*

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5:32:05 AM EDT

                            

I wish this was me.... Sleeping like a baby... Instead THIS is me....

                             

(Minus the fact that is a man lol)

Have you ever noticed that men fall asleep within seconds of closing their eyes?? HOW do they do that??? I've been having a bout of insomnia for about a week and a half.. I will have one night where I fall asleep by a decent hour (like 3 am ), and then for the next 4 nights I'm wide awake at 6 am and wanting to sleep at noon .. GRRRR!!

I layed down at midnight, couldn't sleep.. Got up played a couple of games.. A good movie came on TV so I figured I'd get sleepy laying down watching it... Nope.

SO I'm laying there, trying to count sheep and whatever else to sleep... Then I notice mine and Dave's breathing pattern is the same, which for whatever reason gives me the giggles.I curl up beside him, get good and cozy.... Then start hearing these funny noises. Men make alot of noises when they sleep.. he puts his arm around me then starts this unsteady snoring,, which is okay until I get the "blow" in the face. I go to move and he grabs my butt, so I turn back towards him. Which receives a moaning kind of snore. WHAT the heck is that?? He contiues this light moan- mix of snore- mix of sounding in pain sound..FINALLY he breaths normal.. I settle down to try this sleep thing again.. He moves his arm - which hits me in the face , then starts to roll over, which pulls my hair!!! I gave up, and here I sit.... Almost 5 :30 in the morning and supposed to be up in about 4 hours. Insomnia sucks!!!! NO sleep aids help me at all.. Take a sleeping pill and  5 hours later I'm still wide awake . I just read on the internet that Passion Flowers help with insomia.... I didn't read how , but does anyone want to send me some??? LOL

 Well, I hear there's this wonderful thing called sleep going around, so I'm going to see if I can some..   I hope everyone else is sleeping like babies... REALLY I do!!!!

                                       

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