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9:23:00 PM CST
Feeling Sad
How do you handle someone else losing a loved one?
When a friend's loved one passes away, what can one say? It's difficult to know what the right words. The link here, says it best:
http://www.geocities.com/scartlady/ar05049.html
One of my friends, Don, passed away from a hereditary liver disease when he was 17 years old, his family had signed for him to go in the Army in another state.
Don was handsome, with olive skin, jet black hair and green eyes...we'd lived on the same street, sharing the same classes up until the 5th grade, playing kick soccer, just friends. Don never realized how good looking he was until just a few years before he passed away. I introduced him to my friend Shelley, who adored him in his early teens. I remember he was a Sagittarius because he wore the emblem on a chain around his neck.
When the phone call came that he'd passed away I remember being in shock. No, he's too young, it's a cruel joke. The sadness was overwhelming. I decided to back off from reality by not going to the funeral, just remembering him as he was, alive and happy.
Disrespectful not to go to a funeral? No, I don't think so because he lives in my heart...although Shelley who did go, and wasn't dating him then, told me that five girls from different towns all claimed to be his girlfriend showed up at the funeral. I'm not really surprised. You never know who will arrive at a funeral.
Some people just barge their way into the funeral, not caring that the family is already upset, but insisting on "showing respect" even if it makes an immediate family member dealing with grief uncomfortable. That's being insensitive, and not endearing that person to the family member, if they know they aren't wanted there.
Years ago I ran across my childhood valentines, those from grade school, the kind where you make a constuction paper heart, staple it together, open at the top for people to put Valentines in the pocket. I found one from Don, a girl in a bonnet that said, "Be mine" in antiquated silver writing, his named printed on the back.
I've thought about his parents over the years, wondering how they were doing, dealing with the pain.
Death is such a touchy subject. We want to reach out to people, yet afraid of saying the wrong thing or our words being misinterpreted, we say nothing at all.
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Debi, Thank you again for dropping by. Death definately brings out all kinds of people... you find out who your friends are, you loves you, who wants what. It's not a easy time anyway... 17 years old... very, very sad... I'm so sorry that you had to go through something like that... too young.. I could go on, but since my emotions are right at the surface, I'll stop. Thank you for caring. Lisa
http://journals.aol.com/lisita15/lisita/
11/15/06 4:26 PM
xoxo