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4:53:00 PM EST
2006 Detroit Auto Show Wrap-up
Well I’ve been able to let the 2006 Detroit Auto show settle in a bit now and I thought it was due time to gather up some of my thoughts. Most of the major sites already have wrap-ups detailing the most significant new models, the best concepts, most important business decisions etc. I’m gonna do it a little different.
Most Boring Press Event: BMW wins the honors here. During an auto show like this, where people are here to see the goods (e.g. the cars) and get excited about new products, BMW head honchos come up in their 3-piece pinstriped suits and put on a board meeting. If I wanted to sit through a boring discussion of percentages and sales figures I would have stayed at the office. After the monotonous numbers were rattled off by not one, but two BMW chiefs, they slowly revealed an M version of the Z4. Oh-boy, I had to be contained by three security guards because I was so darn excited. If you can’t taste the sarcasm there, then I suggest reading it again.
Most Likely to Get a Marketing Executive Fired: This high honor goes to the individual or team that came up with the grand plan to have Eva Longoria part of the Chrysler Imperial launch. Not only did she look lost on stage next to the behemoth that is the Imperial, but she flubbed her one and only line, which just happened to include the name of the show she is on! How can you do that?
Did anybody on that team do the math in regards to the percentage of male vs. female attendees at the show? From what I could tell, there were more men then women, that alone should tell you that most people would not even know, let alone care, who Eva Longoria is. Let’s see here, oh yeah she is on a show called Desperate Housewives. OK then, so like how many guys actually watch that show… exactly, and those that do won’t admit it. At the end of it all people were left snickering as Eva so delicately got out of the car and stood on stage near Chrysler execs. While they waited for her to say her one line the crickets just chirped away….(insert cricket chirping here)………………………………………………………………….chirp………..
”oh yeah I’m so desperate for this Imperial” she says. Ugh.
Most In Your Face: Who could miss the launch of the Chrysler Aspen? Ok well most people could after they actually saw the car, but I’m referring to the actual spectacle that occurred before hand: Freaky clowns, ear-drum shattering orchestra music, blinding flood lights and an indoor snow blizzard that literally covered everyone and everything with inches of confetti. You can read about the details in my post a few days back. To bad they didn’t have Eva Longoria in this one.
The “I can’t believe what I just heard” Award: Goes to Toyota and their launch of the new Camry. Why, you ask? Because they announced that it had seats with skin healing lotion built into them! As I said in my previous post about this… I don’t drive naked (at least not during the work week), so how the heck is lotion in the seat going to help me here? Loofa Sponge steering wheel… here I come.
Most Outrageous Concept: Ford Super Chief takes the cake. Ladies and gentleman, in a time when gas prices are through the roof, people are concerned more than ever about the environment, global warming is becoming more and more apparent and carmakers should be trying to pretend to be environmentally conscious, Ford releases a vehicle that was designed to mimic a Locomotive. Yes that’s right… a freakin train.
So here we have a vehicle that is as long as a limousine, tall enough that Shaq couldn’t see over it, filled with maple wood on the floor of the interior AND the pickup bed (because we need that when hauling mulch), could essentially engulf a Honda Civic within the cabin… yet it seats FOUR people. Oh that’s right, it is supposed to be like a fancy train car. Great, we all need a vehicle the size of a blue whale that seats four people comfortably. To top it all off, they throw in a V10 that can run off gas, ethanol or hydrogen. Thanks for that one there guys… that shows some good focused thinking.
And finally…
The ‘Trying Too Hard to Be Cool’ Award: The medal was given to Cadillac’s launch of the new Escalade. $50K SUVwith ‘Dubs’, 20-something hip-hop dancers, runway models, turn-tables spinning club beats and Travis Barker (of Blink 182 fame) playing drums. Sounds like a rap video on MTV right? Wrong. It was the event that Caddy had for the new Escalade. That didn’t even appeal to me and I’m in the age bracket that understands all of it! Next time the Caddy team should just were t-shirts that say ‘We Are Cool’ on the front, it would be less obvious they were trying to fit in.
That's all for now. I'll be back with some serious stuff later:)
take care,
Chris
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Yeah, you're right... a few more gas hogs ready for us suckers to buy. Sure I want to buy something that gets me 9 miles per gallon when gas is going up every week. Maybe that Corolla is lookin' better now.
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Oh, and Chris keep that supposedly serious stuff to yourself. P.S. You have no idea whats cool, and dont lie and say your in the age bracket being a 60 yr old writer.
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Honestly, How are you going to say that Eva Longoria was not a perfect choice for a car show, that even you said was mostly men. Well, my friend I haven't found one guy that would not want Eva presenting them a new car, especially after what I saw she was wearing. C'mon bud, if your going to write an Automobile article for men at least make it appeal to MEN!! Granted she messed up presenting and no man in their right mind would watch that show, But every normal, self-respecting guy knows who that beauty is. Who doesn't like watching a beautiful lady on stage......Apparently not you.
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Most of the people at the show are men thats why Chrysler had Eva Longoria who cares what show she is on, she is great to look at. Also do you think we care what her one line is, or do we only want to look at her, and at the car then see us in the car with her. Stop trying to make men out to be so smart when it comes to cars an women we have very little on our minds except ......
3/25/06 11:57 AM