ChaseNKids!

     

 

I have resisted writing a goodbye entry, because I hate goodbyes. I welcome change, but at the same time, I have a hard time with it.

I've received and read your emails, appreciate your comments, and am flattered that some of you have missed my entries. Most of you know why I've chosen not to continue writing in this blog and I hope eventually I will start it up again. I don't see this as an end to ChaseNKids... because I'll always be ChaseNKids.

Just not here. Not right now.

I wish I could give you a more detailed explanation, but there isn't one that isn't complicated and probably just out and out boring. I don't do boring. I do chilling and exotic twisted with a little insanity... and to go against my true self and give you the boring explanation... I'd be cheating you. And I don't cheat.

Okay... maybe just that one time at CandyLand... but we don't need to live in the past.

 

It's been nice. It's been real nice.

Love to you all.

chasenkids at 12:38:53 PM AKDT Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 15 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

It is only Wednesday, and already I can tell you this has been one emotionally disastrous week.

Hands down.

 I follow the rule about not writing about the workplace,but I will say that Psycho isn't just a movie. It can also be someone you work with.

And that's all I am going to say about that.

I called in sick today, with good reason. I don't have it in me to play the game, act like all is okay, and STILL BE OKAY. So I'm taking the day off. For things that really matter. Getting my kids off to school. Making blueberry waffles. Watching Sesame Street with Eden Marie. Working on my book. I will NOT be thinking about work.

I will also be doing a lot of reflecting. While I was giving Eden Marie a bath, there was a message on my cell phone that our beloved Shirley had passed away. I'm sad. I can't verbalize what a truly beautiful lady she was. It was an honor to know her.

She belonged to so many people... if you could describe an Angel, you would be describing Shirley. She was graceful, but tough. Her strength while she fought the cancer was unbelievable.

I'm having a hard time ending this entry. I can't gather all that I'm feeling with a word, or catchy phrase. But maybe there just shouldn't be an ending. 

Only a continuation as life goes on.......

chasenkids at 10:11:28 AM AKDT Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 18 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

                    

I am supposed to be at work in exactly an hour. Which includes my sitting behind my desk, staring aimlessly at the computer, trying to drum up the strength to do actual work. I decided not to put so much pressure on myself to get to work on time, because I could do the same thing at home. And get an extra half hour of sleep in the process.

I really just amaze myself in my time management skills. Seriously. I should totally get a raise.

We had a good weekend. I stayed in my pajamas yesterday until 9pm. I decided it was time to take a shower and then put on fresh PJ's which was basically my husband's t-shirt. This started a complete whining session done soley by him. He was moaning like a school girl about how he never has any clothes to wear because I'm always wearing them. He doesn't seem to realize that I only wear his shirts because it makes me feel really close to him.

Yeah. He didn't buy it either.

Just by accident (or for you romantics... Fate) a fellow J-Lander stopped by my journal. She saw the entry about my book and downloaded a copy right then and there. I had just started reading her journal when I got this email:

chasenkids at 6:20:56 AM AKST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 12 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

At this very moment, Eden Marie is hanging over my shoulders whispering how much she loves me and how she really wants to go bye-bye. I interrupt her by asking if she has to go potty, not because I'm particularly interested, but because she gets really quiet and sometimes even runs off.

I do yell that I love her as she runs away. And if she is willing to listen, I will point out that going potty is fun and everyone is doing it. She truly is missing out. It is something I probably look forward to each and every day.

But that's just me.

I had lunch with Tina and Jason yesterday and somehow the subject came up about a colon cleanse. Jason got pretty specific about what red meat can do to your intestines and how a colon cleanse is good for you. So today, after I get done with my Arbonne Open House... (yes, I'm selling Arbonne again. Four kids to feed, remember? Please submit your orders via email...) I will do a cleansing of my colon.

I'm actually looking forward to it.

I don't think people will be able to truthfully say I'm full of shit anymore. Because it just wouldn't be true, now would it?

 

chasenkids at 9:08:01 AM AKST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 11 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

 

                                                                                       

 

The tapping of the keys on my keyboard give way for a complete zone out of my surroundings. I find myself living in another world, the world of people straight from my imagination. I think how odd it is... how completely different my role as a writer is compared to what I envisioned it to be. Around me is the pitter-patter of feet, occasional screams, and often a two year old grabbing my hand to place a toy or chewed up candy in my open palm to bring me back to reality. I always thought that when the time came for me to get serious about my writing that I would be transformed, my house in an peaceful existence of solitude. I'd be entwined with my endless flow of creative energy with my only background distraction being classical music and the energetic glow of aromatherapy candles.

 

This is probably why I'm a writer. I can imagine a world of fantasy and not be  disappointed by the realism that my life is less than the tranquil existence I created in my mind. It is more of a chaotic circus with occasional outbursts such as my four year old peeing on the dog because the dog ate his cookie. Or my two year old stripping off her clothes and proudly throwing them out the window unto the roof. The complete urgency in the voice of my six year old when the baby decided the dog needed my lipstick and blush more than I did.

Dishes in my sink until almost midnight, bickering, cries because someone lost a toy or almost a finger... are very much forgotten when there is laughter, a quiet moment, the ending of a difficult chapter in my latest project and most definitely when each of my four angels are in their beds...

fast asleep.

It is then that I exhale and say a prayer of thanks:

"Thank you God for creating birth control."

 

 

chasenkids at 8:40:47 PM AKST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 10 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

                            

I had just read the kids the book, The Old Lady Who Swallowed The Fly... not once, but thrice. My children found the whole death by swallowing of a horse very intriguing and it began a huge discussion about death and how we should never swallow a horse.

No matter what.

Jacob started asking me about death and if I was going to die.

"No," Eric says interrupting what I was about to say. "Most of the time, only old people die."

"Only old people?" Jacob asks looking at me for assurance.

Again, Eric interrupts saying, "Yeah. Sometimes young people die, but it is usually old people. I just tell myself only old people die and then you don't have to worry about it. Because even if people die they stay in your heart because you remember them."

"Old people die?" Jacob asks again, missing Eric's in depth answer.

"Yes," Eric sighs heavily. "Old people die."

Jacob is silent for a minute and then says, "Grandma is old."

Eric shrugs his shoulders and says, "No, Grandma just acts old," he says pausing long enough to take a sip of his juice before adding,"It's her job."

"What's Mom's job?" Jacob asks.

"Telling us what to do," Eric looks at me and gives me a genuine smile, "Right, Mom?"

I wanted to tell him that my job consists more of my telling him what to do like cleaning his room or putting his dishes in the sink. I wanted to tell him that my job as a Mom is never ending...my love never ceasing... that being a Mom is wrapped with so many emotions that having it labeled as a job is an insult. Being a Mom is a sacred privilege and sometimes we just forget what a honor it truly is.

I didn't say any of this to him because I knew that it would kill the mood. It has never been in my job description to be a killjoy 100% of the time. (only 75%) So I smiled and gave him a hug and said, "Right, Eric. Now go clean your room but first, hand your Mom the remote control."

Of course, he laughed because I was joking. But just to be safe... he found the remote control and placed it near me.

I guess he figures he shouldn't test the 'old people'.

 

 

 

chasenkids at 9:21:37 PM AKST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 10 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

Eden Marie's new saying is, "You being mean!" And it is usually directed at me.

I am mean because I won't let her wrap chewing gum around the doorknobs. I am mean because I will not let her use a marker to decorate the keyboard. I am mean because I won't let her play outside with only her Cinderella shoes and Cinderella crown and nothing else on her body. ("I NOT COLD MOM!") I am mean because I won't let her drink pickle juice from the jar.

Okay, the last part is a lie. I'm mean because I did allow her drink the pickle juice. You gotta love the face that your child makes when she realizes juice that is green should be questioned. Or at least a smelling test is in order first.

 

I love being a Mom.

 

 

chasenkids at 6:40:13 PM AKST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 18 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

I haven't had much to write about.

But that isn't true. I've been writing... just not blogging.

The sales of The Beauty of June are quite good... but I should clarify: "GOOD" in the sense that there has been little promoting and I still haven't found an agent. I put aside my second project and started to work on ChaseNKids... the book. I am hoping to have it finished by Summer. You'll be able to buy it straight from this website.

If you've been a longtime reader of this blog, you'll know the past year has been hard for me and my family. I haven't bounced back. It has been a tough road, but slowly I'm feeling better. I've realized there is 'no getting over' a terrible series of events, there is only accepting and allowing yourself time.

And that is what I'm pretty much doing. Taking time. I take time to bury my head in the sand when life has gotten too much. I've taken the time to shield myself from the negative in my life and I've taken the time to appreciate all that is good. And I take time to thank God for giving me time to appreciate the beauty that is life.

I encourage all of my friends to do just that: Take time. Take some time out of your day to breathe and be thankful for all that is good in your life.

Just take time.

 

chasenkids at 7:41:54 AM AKST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 13 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

I was very nervous about walking into the gym today for my first workout. I hadn't seen the inside of a gym in almost a year. All sorts of things went through my mind...things like naked women in the locker room. Not that I mind other naked women... I just don't like to be "the naked woman". (Ladies, you know what I'm talking about.)

When I took the tour of the gym last week with the "Membership Lady", she guided me into the women's locker room. We actually took a good three minute tour where there were lots of naked women. Tons. I tried really hard not to look... but I'll admit it: I did steal a few glances. I did the whole body comparison thing and found myself thinking totally like a guy... which isn't as disturbing as one would think.  Yeah, I said things in my head like, "Nice butt and thighs. A little to much boobage, but that's what support bras are for."

Anyway.

When I went to get my scan card today I was told my card had already been issued to my husband, "Jaime".

"No," I corrected the Gym Attendant "I'm Jaime."

She looks at her computer and shakes her head, "No, your husband is Jaime."

Now while I'm not always the quickest in catching on to the simplest of things, I do believe I would have caught on to my marrying someone with the same name as me. Just a hunch though. I could be totally way off base in this optimistic assumption, but I'm going to just bet everything and say I'm right.

I show her my ID and couldn't help myself by chirping, "See! I'm Jaime! My husband is Ian."

She nods, grasping the harsh reality that the computer could actually be wrong, and starts to correct it. She tells me she's going to have to void this out, strike out that, and mark off this, which seemed like a lot of work. So being that sometimes I actually do have a simple game plan for something that is to be a lot of work I said, "Why not just take my picture, I get my husband's scan card and then when he comes in, he can get another one since the one he has is already been issued to Jaime Chase."

Her eyes lit up.I swear I could hear the Angels of Common Sense sing their praise.

Then the manager walks up.

For what can only be described as a complete remake of a scene from the movie Anger Management... I will give you the brief dialogue...for comic relief.

The Gym Attendant told Mr. Manager what had happened and then he starts explaining to me what they were going to do.

Me: "I know. She just told me."

Mr.Manager: It's going to take about ten minutes but we'll get it all done.

Me: Oh, but I told her she didn't have to do all that, I'm going to take my husband's and then he'll just get another one.

::Stomps foot, sighs heavily:: Mr. Manager: Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to be patient as this is something we must do.

<looks dumbfounded> Me: I am being patient, I'm just saying we don't have to do all this because--

Mr. Manager: Ma'am, you're going to have to calm down.

I have not raised my voice. I haven't even did the twitching of my head that sometimes happens when angry... BECAUSE I WASN'T ANGRY.

The gym attendant is shaking her head and doing the crazy sign behind his back, so I laughed.

It was funny.

Mr. Manager: Ma'am this isn't funny. This is a potential identity crisis.

Me: You're telling me? I was told I was married to Jaime and I'm Jaime!

Mr. Manager: Ma'am, please just calm down.

I just shook my head and shrugged. He soon left to find some other soul to 'calm down' and the gym attendant snapped my picture and said, "Just get the scan card from your husband...

Jaime."

 

And people want to know why I drink...

 

 

 

chasenkids at 9:27:24 PM AKST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 14 comments: Show Recent | Add your own

I've been asked by many to please give them the information regarding my book. I had meant to send each person an email, but because I'm such a ditz when it comes to returning phonecalls and emails, my intentions froze on just that: Intentions.

This is where you can purchase the book:

The Beauty of June By Jaime Lozada

Lozada is my maiden name. Yes. The secret is out.

It will be available on the Amazon Marketplace in a few weeks.

 

I'm curious to know what my blog readers think about my going fiction.

Enjoy.

chasenkids at 8:17:37 AM AKST Permalink | Blog about this entry |  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this This entry has 11 comments: Show Recent | Add your own