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12:18:00 PM EDT
The Preakness Parties Hard!
From what I understand, the Derby and the Preakness are two completely different worlds. Churchhill has the rich snobs, and Pimlico has the down-to-Earth borderline white trash folk. In other words, the Preakness is one big, sloppy, dirty frat party. Exhibit A:
Some of the reasons you may want to considered attending such a lovely event:
1. There’s nothing gay about having a four-way with just dudes.
2. Free shoes!
3. Complete strangers are willing to bathe you for free.
4. There are plenty of classy ladies, and douchie dudes willing to molest them.
5. The cops are friendly and helpful.
6. You might run into SBL co-host Kevin “The Lush” Nemeth.
7. Oh, almost forgot, you can also gamble on which horse can run in a circle fastest.
The festivities aren't until tomorrow, so you still have plenty of time to get up to Maryland for a nice, relaxing day in the Pimlico infield.
Written by cmottram04 Blog about this entry |
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I used to live on W. Rogers Ave from '78 till '87. We could watch the horses come around the far turn from our roof. We even charged people a couple bucks to park on our front lawn during Preakness. One year (I was maybe 11 or 12) I remember being home alone during the race (my parents were at a neighbor's Preakness party) and shooting a bottle rocket from our roof. It veered towards a vacant field across the street where hundreds of tailgaters where parked. Some guys over there took serious offense and came running. They ran around our house pounding on doors and screaming at the top of their lungs. I was with a friend at the time and we both thought we were going to die. Eventually the drunkards lost interest and left us, hiding in a bedroom closet on the third floor. Ahhhh good times the Preakness, good times.
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Been to a half dozen of 'em in the infield and most years I haven't even seen a horse, unless you count the mounted patrolman trying to move us along. Have also had occasion to take in the race from the grandstand, and it does have a certain snob appeal, especially after downing a dozen or so black-eyed susans, the local mint julep substitute. If you are an east coaster and not ready for the inbred heart of darkness that is Louisville, think of this as the Derby, witnessed by a majority of Baltimor(e)ons, any of whom could just as easily have been an extra in a John Waters film. And that is among it's endearing qualities.
5/21/06 5:48 PM
http://journals.aol.com/kneme