Stay Hot and in Love

Throughout my time blogging as the Common Sense Diva, I've been in a pretty serious relationship. For reasons I won't discuss on here, we recently broke up after three years. We lived together, traveled across the world together, and even performed in a local rock band together. I'm in his sister's wedding photos for crying out loud! The hardest part of getting through this breakup won't be who gets to keep the furniture and the houseplants ... instead the main issue will be, "what's going to happen to my Myspace?"

Breakups are hard. They're a fact of life. You live, you love and sometimes you lose at love. You've got to deal with the pain and move on. When you're fresh out of a relationship you're going through a lot of emotions. Isn't your real life stressful enough without having to figure out how to deal with your virtual love life, as well?

Like many couples on social networking sites, we were each other's "No. 1's," meaning that he sat in the top left hand corner of my friends list, and vice versa. Our profile pictures were full of the happy times we spent together. Our relationship status read: in a relationship. So when the day comes to do a major overhaul to your Myspace or social networking site ... how do you cope?

Here are a few pointers on how to deal with your profile after a break up.

Give It Time: When we were breaking up, one of his concerns was, "What will be do with our Myspace profiles?" I didn't even want to think about it at the time. "I don't care." Well, since I knew he cared, I waited until he changed his information. Yes, I could have logged in right after our breakup fight, rearranging titles and information, but I gave it some time. He changed his profile within a week, and I would have given it about two weeks. I wanted the information to set in before people started questioning me about it online. If you keep in touch with a lot of your friends via Myspace, this may be the first way the news is communicated to the group.

Rearrange Your Friends List: I listed about 20 friends on my page including him, his family, his closest friendsand our mutual friends. Sadly, I had to remove his family and the friends that I will most likely end up losing because of our breakup. I kept only my very closest friends and some of my older close friends that I hadn't displayed before.

New Life, New Photos: You're single now, and once you're feeling up to it, it's time to go out there and have some fun! Change out those romantic pics of you and your sweetie. Don't get stuck in the past. There's a whole world out there just waiting for you.

It's Official, You're Single Now: After seeing the label "in a relationship" for awhile, it's time to face the music and check a new option for relationship status. Single. Sure, it's a word you haven't used to describe yourself in awhile and it probably conjures up all kinds of images and feelings. Not particularly bad, just different.

Don't forget to check out all of your other social networking accounts and change your status on them, too. Might as well, right? I had to look everywhere for my Friendster password, but I did, and now I'm single on there, too. It was strangely satisfying, or should I say therapeutic to change it. (I changed my Friendster profile before he got to it. So there!) Once you've changed all of your profiles to fit your new single and fabulous title, you are done. Now that wasn't so bad, was it?

Finally, you're going to have to decide whether or not you're going to keep your ex as a friend on your Myspace page, remove them as a friend entirely or just try to coexist with them. Don't get caught up in spying on what they're doing and the comments they're making. You're wasting your time and you'll just drive yourself crazy. Hopefully, you can remain on each other's profile pages and begin a new peaceful existence, one pixel at a time.

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• #13 Comment from lusciouskristin 
  12/11/07 5:09 PM | Permalink

  Interesting.
  
  Read my interesting articles about men, women, relationships, love, romance, dating, online dating, etc., check out my blog at http://www.adultdatingpost.com
  
  Feel free to comment in my entries. =)
  
• #12 Comment from strawberikiisez 
  11/10/07 10:02 AM | Permalink

  Your Last Paragraph Made Perfect Sense. Especially When You Still Love Them You Really Want To Know Their WhereAbouts.
• #11 Comment from calinvain 
  11/9/07 9:13 PM | Permalink

  Wow, this is an absolutely pathetic society we live in.
  Ya, i just broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years and I'm worried about myspace?
  You have some serious problems my friend, you need counseling or something...
  
  I just pray for your sake and all the other people like in you in your myspaceness that this is a sad joke
  
  ♪Sceamo♪
• #10 Comment from tikisdaname 
  11/9/07 1:47 PM | Permalink

  ARe You SERIOUS ??? O to the M to the G !!! .... Breaking up from a Serious relationship and WHAT u worry about is """"MYSPACE"""" hahaha .... Stop telling jokes its hurting my stomach.
• #9 Comment from redheadedcutie85 
  10/25/07 4:09 PM | Permalink

  i had the same problem but what haappened with me is that i kept him on my page and he would go on it and spy on me then start drama with his friends that hated me after i broke up with him he was making up storys about what was going on with my life and tell his friends show them my page so when i would run into them on a date they would try to start shit with me there in the store or at the park where ever i was. it was crazy it didnt stop untill he moved on finally and now we can be nice to each other. he was very mad that i had moved on and had pictures of friends and adventures that i went on with out him. it was crazy.