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Subject: The Nature of Change
Time: 11:59:00 PM CDT
Author: crisquest2
Change is a scary thought for me dude. Just consider this for a moment, I work and live in the same community I was born into nearly 5 decades ago. I went into a profession that was modeled to me since I was four years old. I still have the same friends I had back in elementary school. I have been married to the same woman for over a quarter of a century and I don't think I have a single pair of underwear without holes
I mean it; I do not deal with changes easily. Changes freak me out and make me question everything I do or ever did in the past. It grips my guts in the night and makes me lie in curled up little balls of mind tortured stress. It is not the sultry lover of my imagination that haunts me in my sleep with promises of fulfillment that defy reality.... No, change haunts my waking dreams when see myself sitting on street corners begging for food and bemoaning the life and family I once had but failed to provide for, or protect.
Change is the wino, beaten and bloodied in the rain gutter. Pissing him self just before passing out into the beloved drunken stupor as laughing young thugs walk away divvying up the $15 found in your pockets. Change is the poor old couple living in squalor, no food, no health care and watching each other slowly yet painfully move a little closer to death with the passing of each day.
Change is alcoholic child, outside in the rain and yelling at your locked door that you never loved him or her enough to care. Change is having a close friend make a house call to tell you the bank is foreclosing on your home, just a few short months after your career evaporated under your hard working feet. Change is the uniformed officer telling you there has been an accident, as your mind screams there has to be a mistake.
Change sucks.
Nothing stays the same.
Damn I hate change.
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Hey Cris,
This blog is so moving......too bad it is on AOL and few will see it!!!!!! I know what's going on and you are a tough ole bastid (using your words) this too shall pass. Thanks for all you do and for the person you are.
Pam -
Dude. It's really not hard to change your blog over to a better venue. Really. It's not.
What?
You're not talking about that?
Oh. -
It's all cool. Change just freaks me out a bit at times. But who knows, it might not be all bad..... but really the hard part is... nobody knows and maybe just maybe it's that thing that happens that fucks up everything you ever wanted.
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I hope everything's okay.
5/8/08 4:58 PM
Kelly: Oh you are sooooooo funny! No it was not about changing blogs. I have been considering Coke Zero over Diet Coke. Man these decisions are tough.