Y2K Survivor

So here I sit in an empty conference room in Wagoner Oklahoma.  The night's meetings are all over and the group has turned-in for the evening.  The new Deputy Director popped in and grabbed a bite as I sit in the only spot in the resort with electricity and wi-fi.  Life on the road is hell when you want a daily post and feel a level of responsibility to a faithful reader.

Yes damnit, I said reader!  I have been watching the numbers of hits I get lately and I think you and I might be the only ones left out there in cyberspace.  Why?  What the hell did I say that ran off the throngs of 3 or four other guys?  Was it the little gag about clipping my toenails that was written to sound like I was eh... doing something else?  Well SORRRRRRieeeeeee Dude.  I know you come here with a reasonable expectation of being entertained, even more, you expect it to be funny.  Well, remember the famous words of the great American actor, William Shatner, who said, "Dying is easy, but being funny is fucking hard Dude!"

So maybe I crossed a line.  Was the line Michael Richards crossed when verbally assaulting poor black hecklers any different?  Was the line Lindsey Lohan crossed when she flashed her coochie to the photogs, then drank her way into a lesbian affair, any worse?  Hasn't America forgiven Mark Furman, David Mark Chapman, and Michael Jackson?  Can't you find it in your heart to be as kind to me as you are to those pillars of common decency?

OK OK OK So I made my co-worker do the Smedley laugh.  It is a personal mark of achievement if I can get her to laugh like that cartoon dog on the old 1970's cartoon "Those Wacky Racers."  Granted, her laugh is not always intentional... there have been a few humiliating fauh-phas in the past that do not deserve merit in this blog.  But there are times, just goofing around, I make her laugh so hard that her breath comes in fast rapid gasps that sounds like Smedley's cartoon snicker.

So tonight we were with a group of old friends and I mentioned how I had just found Craiglist.  I had already discussed water melon for Viagra, the more red wine you drink the healthier you get, and hair loss, so you can tell my arsenal was running low by the time I whipped out my Craiglist tale.  Yes, I thought I had jumped the conversation shark with that topic, but instead the table of old fuckers came alive as they started sharing buy/sell tales.  Raymundo dominated the conversation by saying he needed to sell his Plotso (or something like that) and one of the girls asked him what it meant. 

He said his Plotso was old and probably didn't still work, but....

And THAT'S when I told him he was being too hard on himself and maybe he should just more water melon.

Not One Person in that room (except me) knew why my co-worker suddenly melted in a fit of laughter that she tried to cover up and ended up making the Smedly laugh.

Yeah, I think I should get double points for a sniper shot that went undetected in a room full of witnesses.  hehehehehe 

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