6:51:00 PM EST
Back to me.....almost

Thanks to Heather's entry this morning I got the answer that I have been praying about and finally at peace with the decision to have the wedding at the mansion with limited guest. I realized that I was the one that stirring up my own discontent. How often do we do that in our lives...make a mountain out of a mole hill?? Here I am stressing out the LOML because of my wedding dress insecurities, which he didn't understand. But I am blessed beyond measure because in my time of despare here come my wonderful Jland friends, full of understanding and love. Eva was there to sit through quite a few emails of the blob bride, and Jeanne, it seems like I soon as I posted her she was with "call me if you need me, text me" do whatever! LOL I might have to take you up on that trip to Philly though, I love that mall in King of Prussia, but I don't know if I can come without Keon wanting to tag along.

Heather, damn I mentioning her a lot here, had once mentioned that NY was a place you go and live. To me that holds true for CA (I am planning my one year anniversary in the bay area so look out for me) I want to live there so bad but Keon believes that is too far from Princess Bri and I totally understand his thought and logic on that one. Philly is another place that I can go and never dream of coming home. I soaked up so much from the city when I was there and did I mention that they have banana ice cream there?? I love the historical aspects, the architechture there, purely astonded by that city. And since its close to Jeanne I am sure that I could truly fall in love with it.

The dress dilemma has vanished and I have the dress that I am going to order picked out. Thanks for the words and kind thoughts that were sent my way. You guys were right, today is a new day and I woke up this morning feeling at peace with my decision to have the mansion wedding and inviting who I could, have a slightly less traditional dress but one that is still elegant, and knowing that I am working hard to change the body that I have, sure it may not happen over night but its coming and on my wedding day, I will be the Diva Queen that I am! So here is the update for all you lovely ladies. Back when I ws first speaking of getting married, I remember posting about all the stress that I was going through because my mother wasn't as "involved" as I thought she should be and it seemed like she wasn't happy for me, well that has changed. Praise God! She is very active now, she was even going to go with me to David's Bridal on Saturday to help me look at dresses, however, last night she made a great observation.
"Well Tia if you are having a small, intimate ceremony why do you need the traditional dress, try something a little less formal"
Well at first that was a HELL NO, I want what I want when I want it. Imagine a 2 year old stomping around and that is what I was doing in my head. However, mentioned it again to Keon and he said the same thing. Why not get a less formal dress. I have to sleep on things in order for them to setin, and so it finally did. I came to work and re-checked out Lane Bryant's wedding dresses, there are a few that are nice but nothing that was up to my standards. The one that my mother liked, I was emailing her my pics of my selections, there was not one available in my size or even a size that I could reach by May (size 16 was the biggest, I am currently a loose 22 nice fit 20). The one that was in my size, my mother thought showed way too much boobs and since I am top heavy she didn't think that would be appealing. So I ventured back over to www.PlussizeBridal.com. What can I say about this site?!?! If you are plus size and getting married or going to be in a wedding its wonderful! But this time I went to brides maid dresses instead of a bridal gown and picked out 12 very elegant gowns that we absolutely gorgeous and a hecka lot cheaper. There were only 3 that my mother liked and the one that we both genuienly fell in love with is the one that they use different material for because it has been used previously, as have others, for wedding dresses! Isn't that a blessing. I pick a wedding dress, thinking I am getting a brides maid dress, but they actually have used it for a wedding dress before! I had to call the shop in NC because I didn't understand why the prices were different for the same description and that is when she told me. She was so sweet and listened to my story and yeah I love this place. Customer Service sells something for me and if you are nasty then I don't want whatever product your company is selling. So I am having my dress rushed here and it will be here 3 weeks after I purchase it. The standard delivery is 2 to 12 weeks, you can rush it and have it guaranteed to be to you within 6 weeks or super rush it and have it within 3 weeks. I was never a woman that liked to be kept waiting. LOL So in 3 weeks, from Friday, I will have my dress and then I will post pictures. Now I just have to shop for the tiara, the shoes, and some jewerly...my mom did mention that diamond earrings would be nice, doesn't a bride need something new???

Today I am on a snacking frenzy. I haven't gone over my points, at least I don't think but I know that I am going to use some flex ones tonight when I eat dinner. I just ate a snack but still feeling like I could consume more. However, I will just pop somd gum in my mouth and call it a day.
I am going to take this moment to say that today I had a setback of sorts. I didn't go to the gym and allowed myself to talk myself right out of it. I know that I need it and I am doing so well with going but I believe that for me, its okay to not go sometimes. I need to do something though because I am getting that bad feeling again. Its bad enough that I have been snacking like crazy but to not workout either. However, I vowed to meet way too many people in ONEderland to not do something. So tomorrow I am hitting the gym before work and then again after work. I am sure that I won't overdo it but I want to make sure that I am burning constantly....like a make up session....
After getting to work this morning I read all the wonderful comments that were left for me and I have to thank each and everyone of you. It really meant a lot to me to know that even during my down time I have people pushing me forward, its a great feeling..you guys are wonderful!

Written by cuteybaby1981 Blog about this entry
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I have had no home phone and no computer for the last 2 days because something was messed up with my outside wires but Verizon came today and fixed it all so I am back now!!!!!
PICTURES, PICTURES, PICTURES!!!!!! I cannot WAIT to see pictures of the dress!!!!! This is so exciting!!!
Yes, I think Philly would be a WONDERFUL place for you to live!!! Think of all the fun we would have!
Anytime you want to head to the mall, let me know and I'll be there!!!!
((hugs))
Jeanne -
Isn't it amazing how when we open our minds to different choices we find things that we once thought were impossible becomes somewhat easy? Tia, don't let the "dress stress" steal away the joy of this journey. You ARE beautiful inside and out and I have no doubt that will shine in your true "diva" fashion on the day you wed the love of your live. Divas aren't divas based on their ability to work a "made for waif dress" it's the attittude, Miss Thing. Now you keep on working it!
Tia, Keep moving forward toward your goals and leave yesterday behind. You are worth it!
big hugs,
Mags
:easing the words blob bride: You better cut that out! :wink: -
You can talk about me all you want! Look... I'm a glam girl... I'm a spotlight grabber... I wanted the big wedding and all that comes with it until I realized how STRESSFUL that would be. To have a man in my life who says, "let's make this an intimate moment for us" wow... I think that's a blessing. It's far more important to me to be able to focus on the moment, to enjoy him and celebrate our love for each other and our commitment to each other than it is to be the center of attention... at the end of the day... his is the only attention I really need. *wink*
*hugs*
heather -
Hey Tia,
I absolutely cannot WAIT to see your dress! I would love it if y ou could post photos as soon as possible. I am sohappy you are feeling better today and more positive and upbeat. Yes, J-Land can be a nutty place, but a LOT of the people here are genuine and caring and loving. And you have OBVIOUSLY touched people because they reached out to you and helped hold your head up high when you had serious doubts. I amglad that you have people like that in your life.
You keep that head high girl, cause a TIARA can't stay put if you are looking DOWN!
Now, smile and get in a bit of a workout tonight like I plan to. :)
Hugs,
Jen
1/26/07 12:36 PM
Good luck with the rest of the plans! :)
Janis
http://journals.aol.com/janid