Wearin' My Heart on My Sleeve

To my dear internet friends who've inquired, I am still here. 

I've been somewhere between enjoying my retirement and a recluse, yet not feeling motivated to write.  It's not for a lack of subject material, because so much has happened since I last took the time to pour out my thoughts and despair. 

(Geez...August of 2006 was my last entry here in my beloved AOL journal)

Perhaps it's a good thing that I haven't felt the overwhelming urge to purge (no pun intended) my brain of those life experiences and enter them here for my later review.  Maybe I have appropriately dealt with any of the issues that have caused me hurt or pain.  I am certainly giving it my best shot. 

My outlook on life, my life in particular, teeters back and forth between outstanding ("How can you get any more positive?" says Ab) and some down time that my therapist says is my inner child needing comfort.  The rational adult in me has decided it's way past time to take off these extra pounds-more of which have accumulated since "retiring."  I am shocking my body by actually doing some housework....and um.....exercise, plus eating Atkin's style, since that seems to work for me.  

 I have been in a vicious circle of reclusive behavior-hiding from friends and former co-workers due to my weight-which has added more weight and the tendency to be even more reclusive, since I live in a very small town.

Now, I have my kids do the grocery shopping.  As a certified control freak, that was a real change.  At first it was an effort to get them to participate in the home making/house keeping process as I was "retired." Then I got where I really liked not having that chore......putting each item in my cart...taking each item out of the cart to put it on the cashier's carousel, loading all of it up in the car, taking it out of the car, and unpacking it to put it all away.  Arrgggghhh!  Then, my lack of activity led to me being housebound, when I wasn't traveling-and all of this, including a fondness for everything sweet, contributed to the weight gain.

It's time for a big change.  I am determined.  I've even started a daily food journal. 

Well, better go for now as I have a meeting regarding Ab's school.

Oh and later....I will tell you about my incredible, beautiful grandson, Slade Harrison Flyboy.  <---ficticious last name of course.

Take care!

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• #6 Comment from demandnlilchit 
  1/14/07 8:15 AM | Permalink

  Congrats on the new Grandbaby! Life's most precious gift!
  
  http://journals.aol.com/demandnlilchit/Ishavedmylegsforthis/
• #5 Comment from lisaram1955 
  1/11/07 9:45 PM | Permalink

  Hi, Lisa!  I'm sorry we didn't get to see each other while you were up here in Oregon.  My life has been so crazy that I probably wouldn't have been much company anyway.  We'll get together sometime....
  
  Glad to have you posting again!  Don't wait five months until the next one.  And--VERY cool about the grandbaby!  Lisa  :-]
• #4 Comment from solace223 
  1/11/07 3:29 PM | Permalink

  Glad to see you're back.  Congrats on being a grandma!!!  We have missed you.
• #3 Comment from dklars 
  1/11/07 12:37 PM | Permalink

  Yay!  I'm so glad you posted!  I hope you are going to post some pictures of your grandson.  I've got pictures in (On?  I don't know which word is approriate!) journal, but I'm not sure you're still reading journals.  Anyway, I was so happy to see a post from you.  Did you find a home near Flyboy?
  ~~Kath~~
• #2 Comment from mutualaide 
  1/11/07 12:31 PM | Permalink

  Welcome back to 'the fold' ... or well, this is really strange, but YESTERDAY, I wondered allowed, "I wonder if cw2smom is okay.  I should write."  And then here you are today.
  
  Glad you are determined.  I've made some positive changes and I am reaping the benefits.  More work to go, more determination to do it -- desperately needed.  :)