Thoughts on Being, Synchronicity & Inner Wisdom

My last entry explained much about my medical situation. Two weeks ago I underwent surgery to fix what had not been addressed by my previous doctor. I have learned there was quite a mess inside me. I feel assured all was handled properly. Tomorrow is my first follow up appointment. The one medical issue I had hoped would resolve with the hysterectomy remains a problem. I'll learn more about that tomorrow and find out my options. Possibly it will just be a long recovery.

I had planned for six weeks off for all surgeries and it now has been 4 months with at least another 3 before I can return to work. How to fill the hours of a day when there is such little focus because of medication and inability to think about career (helping others care for themselves) when I am having difficulty with that issue myself at the moment.

In the midst of the chaos, however, through friends, clients, and others, I have begun to color stained glass type "coloring book" images with beautiful gel pens, begun to dabble in watercolor painting, started a children's book about Nemo, and have produced a total of 11 Nemo videos. These are all activities that are soothing, joyful, and can be done in between naps--a moment here or there. Yes, I do have days where I just don't care and would rather hide under the covers and cry, but, on stronger days, I can find joy in the simple pleasures that surround me as well as in the new joy I choose to create each day. Joy is a gift we give to ourselves. There is no joy if we don't open ourselves to be joyful, even when the rest of life doesn't feel so happy at the moment. I choose joy--even fleeting.

|  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this