Thirtysomething...

6:29:33 PM CDT
Feeling Chillin'
Hearing Tracey Chapman- Fast Car

Well, we are all still here, despite many people's dire predictions that the world was to end today... I choose to think that God is a little more creative than that... 

My kids are driving  me nuts... constant fighting, a I just want to go to sleep...

I am ready to buy a home... we currently live in a mobile home, on a few acres, and I always thought we would build here... but I am tired of all the maintenance that goes with this land... just tired... I want a regular yard, and a fence... but we have awful credit... we were not approved for a larger mobile home recently, so it will be a fight... but I am ready...

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7:07:58 PM CDT
Feeling Silly
Hearing You- Kevin Max

Oh boy!  Doesn't it seem like the week following a three day weekend is the LONGEST EVER?!?  Well, this week seemed like it.  My son had his last baseball game on Tuesday night, and the season end party for his team on Wednesday.  There is something sad about the end of the season...  I am so glad it's over, but on Saturday I will not know what to do with myself without three games to run to... also, you say goodbye to parents you have bonded with over your children's various accomplishments on the field, and say goodbye to kids you have grown to love... Next year a whole new team, all new kids as my son moves to another division... He has made the town's All-Star team, so I guess I will not be that bored this summer...  My daughter's coach must be missing the girls, because he called yesterday with a report of a pool party at his home this weekend...

I have had so much trouble lately with my son... he is almost thirteen and has -several times- had blatant disregard for things I have asked him to do... he has just gotten finished being grounded for some trouble he got in to right before school ended... yet he continues to get in trouble and do things he is not supposed to do...  I hate to ground him, because as one of my patients once wisely told me, "When you ground a child, you have to wonder who you are really punishing... the child, or yourself!"  Truer words were never spoken... when he is grounded all he does is hang around me and beg not to be grounded any more.  Any ideas?  I can not afford boarding school... I am half tempted to send him to his dad, but his dad will either not want him, or take me to court and use the fact he disobeys me against me... anyway, his dad is nuts so that is not really a valid option... I am thinking of asking the pastor at our church to counsel us... It would not hurt for the girls to get a bit of behavior modification therapy as well...

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10:27:26 AM CDT
Feeling Angry
Hearing James Blunt- High

Ok I have recently found out an interesting tidbit of information...

I had a miscarriage last November.  The pregnancy was not planned... in fact I was using the same birth control pill I had been using for EIGHT years when I became pregnant...  Well needless to say I was put on another pill after the whole mess was resolved... Well the OB had given me samples of the new pill... the other day I ran out of samples and had to buy the first pack... even with insurance it was almost seventy dollars... ok, I just don't have that kind of money... so the doc told me to go on back to the old one... he said it was more than likely a digestive problem or something else completely unrelated to the pill effectiveness... So ok... I will try it, since I always loved it... Now for years I took the original pill, until they came out with a generic... The last few months I had taken it I was taking the generic since my insurance requires that... Yesterday, when I call the pharmacy for a refill, they inform me that the generic has been discontinued, so I will have to get the brand name... no big deal, but why was the generic discontinued?  The pharmacist did not know...  So I got online and did some research, and from what I found was that MANY women have become pregnant on that pill, because the active ingredients were not stable and loose their effectiveness rather quickly... That is the reason for the recall... It's nice to finally know what happened... I would never sue anyone, because I am in the medical field as well, and no one is infallible... we all make mistakes... but it is nice to know that I can go back to the pill I always had good luck with!

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7:19:52 PM CDT
Feeling Chillin'
Hearing How to Save a Life- The Fray (I can't STOP listening to it!)

Over all a pretty good day today... We had a conference at work, which we have every two weeks... today it was laid back and fun, with a lot of laughter... it all depends on everyone's mood and they all seemed to be in good moods today...  Everyone at my office is pretty close, they go to movies together and stuff like that... I have never gone, although I have been invited... I just do not like to get too close to anyone I work with... every time I have it makes problems... I have been invited to my bosses' home for a pool part on July fourth, and I probably will take the family to that...

Will I ever again have close friends?  Yesterday I got a call from someone who used to be a good friend of mine... she and another gal and I were almost like sisters... she is getting married and wanted to send me an invite.  We have not spoken for about two years...  I could try to come up with reasons, but we just changed... I will go to her wedding if I am able... but I still long for someone to have lunch with, and chat with, and remind myself that I can be valuable to someone besides my husband and children... I still am good friends with someone I went to nursing school with... we are both so busy... I need to make an effort to have lunch with her, or something...

Have I mentioned I ADORE my wonderful husband?!  Just thought I would throw that in...

My son has been selected for our town's all-star baseball team...  I am VERY proud, but I am going to have a busy summer, running him to games all over Texas... there is a chance that one of my daughters will be selected as well...

I guess that is it for tonight!  I will try to be better about commenting... once baseball season is over... oh wait... it is NEVER going to end!

 

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9:20:45 PM CDT
Feeling Loopy
Hearing Blue October- Hate Me

Ok, once again the time has come.  Time for me to blog about my current favorite foods.  Yes, I do get passionate about food.  Yes, I know that it is unhealthy and I probably have some underlying issue regarding my childhood and I am trying to fill that void... does that have to be the reason?  Maybe I am just a fat pig that likes to eat!

Anyway... the limited time only HONEY BUTTER CHICKEN Biscuit is greatness.  I like to take it apart and eat it in pieces...  first the chicken, then the side of the biscuit with the least amount of butter on it, the the side that is DRIPPING with honey butter!  YUM!  I take it apart to prolong my eating enjoyment.

Also, is there anything in the world better than the macaroni and cheese at Cracker Barrel?  Instead ordering a meal I just want to ask for a two gallon mac and cheese, lol...  but that could cause some digestive problems, I think... have to add some fiber to that somewhere... Oh!  I know just the thing... I will have some mac and cheese for calcium, and baked apples with cinnamon for fiber!

It may seem strange to talk about this after completing my JOY OF EATING session, but something weird is going on with my stomach.  Now, I know I just wrote about the stuff that I like to pig out on, but these things I like but I only actually eat them occasionally, so I am certain they are not the root of my problem...

Lately after I begin to eat or drink, even the smallest amount of food or drink (like I just had half of a diet Pepsi), my stomach feels like someone is wringing it out like a dishrag... I wouldn't even call it painful, exactly, just uncomfortable... so uncomfortable that I have to cut my meal short... has been happening for about five days... Maybe an ulcer, or my gallbladder... I know what the symptoms of these things are SUPPOSED to be, but I figure if I ignore it, it will go away... man I hate visiting the doctor... and if it stops me from eating so much, maybe I will just consider it "God's gastric bypass"...

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6:10:46 PM CDT
Feeling Quiet
Hearing The Fray- How to Save a Life


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1:07:56 PM CDT
Feeling Chillin'
Hearing Distant Face- Scott Hoying

Twenty things about me!

1. I love diet coke.

2. and Ben and Jerry's Triple Caramel Chunk.

3. I hate my profession.

4. I love satalitte radio.

5. I have effectively and swiftly alienated all my friends.

6. I get tired early.

7. All my kids play softball, but I never played any sport as a child.

8. I wish I had.

9. I love my husband!

10. I love shopping.

11. I am hard to get along with.

12. I am a perfectionist.

13. I like to pretend I am smarter than I really am.

14. I love cereal.

15. I have a sweet tooth that has been the downfall of my every diet.

16. I really need to exersise.

17. I get excited over cleaning products, especially new ones!

18. I just dropped a popsicle on myself.

19. I love getting email from old friends.

20. I love the smell of bleach!

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7:40:29 PM CDT
Feeling Frustrated
Hearing Teddy Gieger- For You I Will

My day started out pretty nice... I got calls from two patients cancelling.  I thought to myself "I may even have time to make the weekly trip to Sam's Club tonight..." (I hate to take up time on the weekend grocery shopping!)  Then I went to pick up my check.  They didn't pay me for my mileage.  No biggie... they will cut me another check... except the payroll person acted like it was my fault.  Oh well, that doesn't bother me... got to have my money... and it was almost two hundred dollars!  I should have taken that as a SIGN OF THINGS TO COME...  My day went downhill from there...

It is raining, raining.  So everyone must follow the mandatory requirement to DRIVE LIKE IDIOTS!  There are so many accidents on the road it takes me much longer than it should to get to my next patient's house... Then on the way to the next patient ALL THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS ARE OUT!!!  It took my almost two hours to drive about thirty miles.  At one light, drivers were making like it was a four way stop, since the signal was out.  There were three lanes of traffic, and to the right and the left of those lanes there were work crews, trying to fix the signal.  Very congested and I was in the middle lane.  Well it is stop, go, stop, go for several minutes.  suddenly I am rammed from behind by a large van.  Now I am in the middle lane at a four way stop.  I pull to the right as soon as possible with my hazards on, and as there is not much of a shoulder on this road I drive slowly, with the van behind me, to the nearest parking lot and I pull into it, motioning for the van to follow me.  They wave at me, as if to say "I understand.  I am so sorry for hitting your car..."  But instead of pulling into the parking lot, they accelerate, and speed away.  Now it is raining buckets, and while I tried to see their plates in the rear view while they were behind me, I just couldn't... they were too close for me to see them at all... and as they drove away it was raining too hard to see... So I walk around to the back of my car... and NO DAMAGE!! THANK GOD!!  I hit my head on the steering wheel and I have a bit of a headache from that, and my neck and shoulders hurt from snapping back so quickly, but I suppose some rest and a heating pad will help that.  I called the police, but they said that I had tostay there to file a report, and as it was not an emergency I might have to wait over an hour.  Now I am already behind on patients, with my dreams of Sam's club slipping away, and my children arriving home (and my house is forty miles away) in less than two hours.  (If my kids are home alone and there is a storm they will be frightened, So I really felt pressured to get home before they did...)  So I did not file a report.  Maybe that was stupid, but what would I say?  I had no info on the guy anyway, so what was the point?

Finally I arrive at the next patient's home, and there are mud puddles knee deep in her yard... worked out well for my cute pink shoes... So I am late and soaked and muddy up to my knees at this point.  Then the next patient lived in an apartment complex... I searched high and low for the apartment, before I called the patient and asked where in the complex it was located.  Her response... "Oh I don't know..."  So I asked if hers was in the red brick area of the complex, or the brown brick area of the complex.  "The red brick."  So I jumped into the car again, and drove to that area.  Still nothing.  It is still raining and I am drenched.  I was really mad too, because I had an awesome blow out this morning... I mean my hair looked good!  But now it was all frizzed up.  So I call her to confirm the apt. number.  We had the wrong number on our paperwork.  So I find the apartment building labeled with the appropriate number.  On the brown brick side!!!!! AHHH!!

I have to stop on the way home and get us all something to eat, because after the day I have had I am not cooking, and finally something good happens to me... at McDonalds, where I got my husband two Big Mac's, they told me "There are two large fries in your bag; Jeff put them in there and I told him that the order was wrong and he was too lazy to take them out... so I guess it's your lucky day!"  Yes, I guess it is.

So I arrive home and I just want to get out of my wet clothes and have a hot bath.  My dog, who is and always has been VERY well house trained, has left a huge load for me... RIGHT NEXT TO THE BATHTUB!! Stunk up the entire bathroom... but I got it cleaned up, sprayed some Lysol and took my bath!

I see the doc on Monday am to discuss the results of my sleep study.  I can not wait... I have not slept well in nights.  That was a good thing today, since we would have all over slept... if I slept at all.  The alarm was set for pm, instead of am!

My son is in big trouble.  Last night the parents of his good friend came by to tell me that while waiting at the bus stop he and his friend have been throwing rocks at the neighbor's house, and has actually caused some damage.  This man is trying to sell his home, and is not pleased, so he asked that they not wait for the bus there anymore, or they may want to file a police report.  As that is the only stop in our neighborhood, it looks like I will be driving him to school.  That is not the worst part.  They said that their son admitted to that AND to smoking cigarettes there too.  His dad said he walked out there and saw a pile of Camel cigarette butts.  The other boy said Daniel brought them and gave them to him.  Now, maybe I am an idiot,  but we don't smoke.  There are no cigarettes in our home, so where could Daniel have gotten them?  They are pretty hard to steal from the store (which I wouldn't put past him necessarily) since they are always behind the counter.  Daniel is always VERY well supervised when he goes into the store anyway.  So I don't think he brought the cigarettes.  The other boy's father said "It wasn't our boy, because I smoke Winston!"  Maybe there were other kids involved.. that I do not know.  I also do not think Daniel has been smoking them, because he never smells like smoke, and he is very loving and huggy with me all the time, and I can smell ANYTHING!  I can tell you when my girls have stolen a package of fruit snacks and have eaten it in their room, or when they have been into my makeup, just by the way it smells when I walk into the house.  So I pretty much believe him on that account. Then the parents told me that they had tried to call me earlier and my son said that we were not home...we weren't, we were at Brooke's softball game... Daniel wanted to stay behind.  So then he had one of his female friends call and say that she was me and tell them that I would speak to him and that he would be punished.  This boys mom knew it was not me on the phone, thank goodness.  I would have hated to have been ignorant to all this... So anyway he is WAY grounded from everything, except school and baseball.  I let him continue to play ball because his coach is such a positive influence, and because the busier he is the less trouble he can get into.  Besides being in the house with him 24/7 would drive ME nuts, so I have to give him SOMETHING to do...  I had a patient that once said, "When you ground a child to the house, you have to wonder who you are punishing... the kid or yourself..."  Man, is that the truth!

We had an in service at the job yesterday.  They issued us all our very own free glucometer.  So far since I got home I have eaten a personal Pan Pizza with breadsticks, a Hershey with almonds (it was soooo good!) and two pieces of Hershey's dark chocolate.  I just checked my blood sugar.  123 mm/dl.  Good.  After all I have been through today, at least I can rest tonight knowing my pancreas works.

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3:41:06 PM CDT
Feeling Angry
Hearing Everclear- Wonderful

I am so... flabbergasted!  That is the only word I can think of... My sister left me a message on myspace telling me that I should think of changing my photo...

but you might want to start searching for a better one than this. Its not very flattering.

I can not BELIEVE she had the nerve to say that.  And just the other day we were talking and she says ... "Umm... what you just said... I don't care about it, and if I could have any two seconds of my life back it would be the two you just took from me."  Is it just me that finds this offensive.  I think I am going to cut ties with my sister, because I have NO respect for someone who treats people that way, let alone family.  Why would you say those things to someone?  She has always been a witch, but jeez!

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2:12:18 PM CDT
Feeling Chillin'
Hearing Van Halen- Love Walks In

Oh, where to begin... the sinus infection I spoke of... well it turned out not to be the worst of what was going to happen... I can actually say after what I went through last week I will look upon every sinus infection I get for the rest of my days as a minor inconvenience...  My very back teeth have created a pocket behind them in my gums... a little "depression" or hole.  Every time I see the dentist he always asks if it bothers me at all, because if it does, they will remove the tooth.  I have always declined, because it has never really bothered me... all that has changed... my sinus infection and post nasal drip lead to the right side of my gum and jaw becoming extremely infected... it was beginning to hurt when I visited the doc, and I mentioned it.  She replied, "That will go away on its own."  I saw the doc on a Wednesday.   By Friday it hurt so bad that I was running a fever, complete with chills.  So on my way home from work I stopped at the ER.  The doc there told me that it was severely infected and shot it full of lidocaine... yippee!  He also gave me antibiotics and pain meds... I don't react well to narcotics so if I am asking for the pain meds you know things are BAD!  I was hoping with the lidocaine on board I could get something to eat (it had been a couple of days and even eating soup hurt...) and I managed to tear a hamburger into very small pieces and eat it that way.  The next day the kids all had games, and my husband tried to convince me to stay home but I like to be there for their games when I can, so I went.  I managed to eat some chicken and dumplings for lunch but it was excruciating.  Not only opening my mouth to chew but also having something inside it caused pain.  That night, after I got home and went to bed I started throwing up.  I had chills and fever.  I truly thought God might be testing me for some reason.  So Easter came and I could not go to church... the family went without me.  I didn't cook anything either.  I was really out of it.  When I went into work Monday, still in pain with my jaw swollen like a balloon, I asked if I could PLEASE take that day and see the dentist.  They said no, and gave me a student to travel with.  But Tuesday it started to get better, and now it is just a little sore.  I truly consider this to be ONE OF THE WORST EXPERIENCES OF MY ENTIRELIFE!  I am so glad that it is over!  Now I just need to find the time to get to the dentist... near impossible.

I am still looking for another job.  The price of gas is rising and my company pays for mileage but when I signed on with them gas was under two dollars a gallon.  Now it is three dollars a gallon and they are not changing their mileage compensation.  I am being picky when it comes to looking though.  Has to be the hours I want, near or around my town.  I am looking actively for a school nurse job or a doctor's office.  I think the school nurse jobs will probably start to pop up late in the summer, before school starts.  I am actively checking school web sites and searching for new schools being built.

My kids are playing ball like crazy.  Daniel's team has only lost twice and Taylor's team is undefeated.  Brooke has a great team that plays well and I think they have won about half of their games so far.  They are great at fielding.  I can't wait until their photos come in.  Taylor was recently put on second base, where she is doing really well!

Well I guess that is all for now... I apologize for not commenting regularly, but I have been busy catching up from when I was ill... I will try to get back on top of things!

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