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Hearing DJ Danger Mouse
It's Official: Duke Is for Dorks
The struggling Terps came into Coack K's house and beat the undefeated Dukies on the strength of a suffocating D and star-making turn from emerging stud Nik Caner-Medley. The 6'8" junior reigned pain from three and had 25 points, 4 steals, 5 boards and 3 assists despite being the focus of thousands of "snotty, rich, little Duke punks" still mourning the loss of last year's ACC championship.
Eric Prisbell, who covers the Terps in the Washington Post, Woodward & Bernsteined a copy of the Cameron Crazies' Maryland "cheer sheet." This is so funny it need not be tarnished by lame attempts at added humor. It simply confirms that Duke fans are the biggest dorks in the country...
Cheer Sheet #1
"Duke vs. Maryland
Cameron Indoor Stadium
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
The Basics
• We welcome Maryland to town. They defeated us last year in the championship game of the ACC Tournament, but now it's time for redemption.
• Recently, Maryland's student fans have been getting nationally berated for their crass and crude behavior (you might remember being able to here (sic) their taunts of "F-You, J.J.." on television at the Duke Maryland game in College Park last year, and a couple years before that when their fans threw trash at the Duke bench resulting in Carlos Boozer's mom receiving a concussion). This is our chance to distinguish ourselves from them, so let's be creative, but classy.
• Cameron should never EVER be quiet. During timeouts, stoppages, halftime, etc., do something. Make up cheers. Make noise. If you are behind Maryland's bench, make allkinds of noise during their timeouts. We're on national television. Prove again that we are the best fans in the country. Period.
The No-No's
• D.J. Strawberry is entirely off-limits. NO EXCEPTIONS.Just don't go there. We're classier than that.
• Cameron Security has asked us to remind you not to bring food, drink, or bags into the stadium.
The Dirt on Our Opponent: University of Maryland Terrapins
• Fodder for your cheering creativity.
• Although he is no longer on the team, taunts concerning the ugliness of Steve Blake are still acceptable.
• Maryland likes to think they're our rival, but our rival is Carolina. Don't forget the staple chants of "Not our rival!" or "We're not rivals!"
• Maryland uses the slogan "Fear the turtle" but we prefer "Smear the turtle."
• To draw distinctions between us and Maryland, we can chant "We don't riot" or "We don't throw stuff."
• The UMD Head Coach is Gary Williams: he tends to sweat, a lot. The standard chant is "Sweat Gary, Sweat!" (Two years ago he was so angered by this chant that he flicked off the student section.)
• If (when) Gary gets angry and red in the face, we can chant "Gary needs a hug!"
• We can point to Coach K and say "Sure" and then to Gary and say "Unsure."
• Gary Williams hates being referred to as the ACC's "second Williams" now that UNC has Roy-Will.
• For Maryland's midnight madness, Gary drove out to center court in a NASCAR race car. We could chant "Where's your racecar?"
• No. 22, Nik Caner-Medley: Was recently arrested in Portland Main (sic) for drink and disorderly conduct. According to the newspaper: "'Caner-Medley was there, yelling,' said Lt. Malloch, reading from the police report. 'He took his shirt off and threatened to assault (the complainant). (Caner-Medley's) friends were trying to restrain him. He was intoxicated and made a statement, 'I'm from Maryland, and nobody can beat me.'"
• NCM's girlfriend is named Myra, and her pet name for him is "Piggy."
• NCM was arrested at a bar called "The Old Port" and is prohibited from returning.
• A previous cheer we've used for NCM is "Three names, no game!"
• NCM's major is "Letters and Sciences"
• No. 11, John Gilchrist: Gilchrist and Gary have been having personal problems recently (stemming from Gilchrist's desire to leave early for the NBA). Gilchrist has also been having academic issues.
• No. 13, Chris McCray: Second in the ACC in free-throw shooting percentage behind J.J. ("J.J.'s still better!")
• No. 23, Mike Jones: heavily hyped player out of high school, but hasn't lived up to the hype and is very sensitive about it. Lots of talk surrounding him about transferring. Very sensitive to the media talk and Internet message boards.
General Notes
• The Women's team will be playing against Maryland in Cameron tomorrow at 7:00. Tents with 9 people there will earn grace for the next night that everyone stays out.
• Add CheeerSheets to your IM buddy list and contribute for the next game.
• Next Game: Virginia Tech, Sunday at 8:00 - standard walk-up policy is in place."
1/28 update: Duke's "cheer sheet" from the UVA game was just emailed to me (thanks, Sev). I can't believe I'm not making this up.
Cheer Sheet #2
"Duke vs. Virginia
Cameron Indoor Stadium
January 16, 2005
The Basics
• For most of us, welcome back. This is the first ACC home game for Duke with school in session. Let's be loud.
• Though most of you probably know, the team is a little thin at the moment, but they keep pulling out gutsy wins. Let's give them the applause they deserve when they step on the court.
• Please, Please, please remember to slow down your cheers. If they start to fast people don't have enough time to catch on.
The No, No's...
• Freshman...when we are on defense, DO NOT WAIVE YOUR HANDS while shouting"ohhhhhh"... this is only for when a player fouls out or when the opposing team does something we don't agree with.
• The "Our House" cheer should be used very sparingly, not when we're crushing an opponant.
• Please do not bring bags into Cameron. Security doesn't like it, and they're going to start turning people away for it
The dirt on Our Opponant - The UVA Cavaliers
• The head coach is Pete Gillen. Many of you know about his recent problems with job security. This is NOT something to taunt him about. Coach K berated the crowd for such taunts to another coach last year
• Coach Gillen if often criticized for calling quick timeouts. Perhaps if Duke scores the first basket or right around the first minute of the game wecould start chanting "Time out, Pete", "Time out, Pete."
• I'm going to set the over/under for UVa's first time out at 2 minutes...any takers?
• Coach Gillen sweats...a lot
• Gillen has a big head, and kind of looks like a goomba from Super Mario Brothers. Gillen tends to put a towel on the ground and kneel on it during games. Perhaps we can point back and forth between him and crazy towel guy and chant, "Crazy Towel Guy, Sweaty Towel Guy."
• #32 - Jason Cain: When he goes to shoot a free throw, try chanting "you killed Abel" (as in the story of Cain and Abel)
• #44 Sean Singletary: He is UVa's freshman point guard. Let's do everything to get under his skin (much like we did to Wake's Chris Paul as a Freshmanlast year). His mom's name is .... Father's name is ..., and has two older brothers, .... and ..... Apparantly he enjoys listening to music.
• #33 Devin Smith: This kid is impressive. Last year he had a heniated disk and wasn't able to practice, but still played in all the games. If anyone has ever had a herniated disk, they know its hard enough to walk. He deserves our respect.
The Blue Devils - We've got some new ones...
• Any time someone makes a nasty play against the other team (like a block or a steal) try chanting "you got served, you got served".
• #15 Sean Dockery: any time Dockery makes a steal, let's chant "Kleptomaniac! Clap Clap Clap, etc
• #5 Daniel Ewing: Dan the Man, in the same cadence as Let's Go Duke.
• #21 Demarcus Nelson: "He's on Da-Mark" or "Hey Markie You're so fine" (HeyMickie)
• Have suggestions for ideas or cheers? Add the name "CheerSheets" to your AIM Buddy List. Thanks to those of you who have already sent stuff...keep it up!
• Please do not give out CheerSheets screen name to people at other schools...I'm tired of dealing with them!
• Next Home Game-Maryland, Wednesday, January 26 @ 9:00."
1/28 update #2: If you're a Dukie and want equal air time -- I'm looking at you DukeDawgy -- just create a hoops blog using AOL Journals. It's free and easy. Once you're done, email it to me: DCSportsGuy@aol.com.
1/29 update: Maryland student paper the Diamondback Online chronicles how Duke got punk'd: "The Cameron Crazies were bamboozled into chanting about a Duke scandal involving a former crack cocaine dealer instead of criticizing Terrapin forward Nik Caner-Medley as they had intended during Wednesday’s night’s nationally televised Duke-Maryland basketball game." Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the link.
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Okay. DUKE is the best. everybody just needs to get over it.
Yeah we were falling apart. BUT. were getting back together. so just watch out. OUR girls are first in the nation. SOO? -
~If Duke is Puke,
Then Carolina ain't no "fina."~
Here's one for your book,
JOKE-What do all Carolina and Duke basketball players have in common?
A- They all applied at Duke!
Hahahahaha!! -
yeah......didnt duke beat carolina???? hahahahaha.....just admit duke is better than carolina(hahahahahaha).......
carolina fans cant accept the fatc the duke is the better team. -
ive got a good cheer- how bout duke SUCKS!! GO HEELS
6/28/08 3:14 AM