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Hearing DJ Danger Mouse
Gilbert Arenas' Birthday Party: ‘Get Drunk, Make Bad Decisions’
I have an Arenas Express card with my name on it. There are 7,000 others able to make the same claim but none who value the plastic more. For a night, it was the key into a different world and, forever, proof I was there for Gilbert’s million dollar 25th birthday party. Now, let’s rewind for a minute so you know what I’m on about.
Last Wednesday I had no clue that my favorite baller was turning 25, much less throwing the party of the year at Love in DC. It came across my radar via email from my friend Sev with the great hope that we must attend. And for two days our search remained fruitless; locked out of the house where Diddy would host and hip-hop's finest were set to perform.
I asked everyone I knew with power and/or connections for help. DC Sports Bog said he was going to his dad’s 60th birthday party that night. Unsilent Majority had a ticket in hand but none to spare. One guy told me that I didn’t want to go because “it’s all black.” A colleague who used to date Diddy (“pre-J. Lo”) was doing what she could for a blogger. No one came though and all seemed lost until the final, darkest hour.
It was then that my boss (who you may know from his Quite Frankly appearance) came through with an Express card for yours truly. We left it at “meet me there by 11” and off I went, wearing my Super Duper Flyest (“NO Timbs!”) and listening to Clipse along the way. After driving to Northeast, street parking and walking up past Bentleys and Rolls, I was at the source of the spotlights and had arrived at the cross-section of sports and entertainment and politics and money and so many women.
On we went through security and towards the red black carpet and its ice sculpture of Gilbert and dueling Arenas paintings in-progress. With swiveling heads entrance was made into the heart of the beast. We posted up at the bar, trying to get tenderfoot’s attention while surrounded by Redskinettes and girls who mostly looked like Redskinettes.
The first celeb sighting was Etan Thomas, decked out in Super Duper Rastafari. Amidst a crowd of gawkers the warrior poet strolled by and up the stairs to wherever it is 6’10” millionaires disappear to at parties like this. He was quickly followed in and up by Caron Butler and a Tough Juice-worthy entourage of 10.
Amidst blaring hip-hop, revealing women and sunglass-wearing men, Marion Barry limped by with a lady and smile. Upon a throwaway comment that I wanted a picture I found myself arm-in-arm with the most infamous of mayors telling him that he’s a DC icon. It was then that the camera flashed, someone shouted “Look at the white boy!” and memories were made.
After more expensive booze, awkward conversation and a quick meetup with Unsilent and his relatively modest entourage, we had to see more of the club. Out we went, back down the black carpet to its conclusion, a large tent with stage where an MC (Doug E. Fresh?) was introducing Arenas in a white suit like none I’ve ever known. Gil reluctantly took the mike before the adoring throng and shared his simple birthday wish: “Everybody get drunk and make bad decisions.” And with roaring approval Agent Zero exited stage right into a night of hanging with Diddy.
We weren’t done reaping the rewards of thetent, as Lil Wayne came on for the first performance of the night and what was probably my firsthip-hop show since Tribe Called Quest in ’97. After a half hour of the greatest rapper alive, it was time to go back inside, but the path was blocked as Arenas and Diddy worked the press. Standing five feet from the two supernovas, I was set to hit record and ask Gil whether his party was more phenomenal than his swag, but they were whisked away too soon by handlers and hopeful women.
With the buzz of the evening reaching a high point we rolled back to where we first began, only this time I ran into Calvin Booth and his unexceptional swag. A photo was taken, pleasantries were exchanged and upward we went to the second and third levels. The second was preferable, as one dude openly smoked a blunt on the dancefloor while the DJ played ‘Walk It Out’ (remix). The third was unfortunate as it seemed like a fancier version of any bar or club in America, although the DJs at most bars aren’t yelling, “Halle Berry and Mariah Carey in the house!”
Back down we wandered, looking for action for fear of missing anything. The night grew long, and Busta Rhymes took the stage. We stalled once again in the circus-like atmosphere of the black carpet: leering men, scurrying women, a naked lady painted as a leopard and Mayor Barry; still smiling and limping around. Towards Busta and his familiar anthems I was pulled, searching for Unsilent. As the set wore down and my battery ran low, it was time to leave. Heading for the door, past the drying murals and melting sculptures, I soaked it all in. It was there I met Unsilent and company, all smiles and satisfaction (“I touched Diddy!”).
Emerging into the night, away from the dream and through the heavy mist, I passed cars worth more than my whole life. Making my way to the ride of my own, a cab passed by with a girl hanging out the window yelling, “Hey, it’s a cracker ass cracker! Yay, white people!” As apt as that may have been, she’d missed the point of the evening entirely. Gilbert was celebrating his life, his town and his people with considerable style. I was lucky enough to be one of those people, and I have the card to prove it.
Update: A female partygoer posted her pics, including a terrific shot of Clinton Portis and one of Weezy.
Update No. 2: DC Sports Bog has a great video of Wiz players, Alex Ovechkin and Gil's dad talking about the party.
'He Looked Like a Kid in a Candy Store:' Unsilent Majority on Gil's Big Night [FanHouse]
From the Red Carpet of Arenas' Birthday Bash [FanHouse]
Gilbert Arenas Wants His Guests Drunk [FanHouse]
More Guerilla Media From Arenas' Big 2-5 [FanHouse]
The Key to Any Good Party Is the Ice Sculpture [Deadspin]
Exclusive Arenas Express Soiree Incites! [Wizznutzz]
Gilbert's Birthday Party [DC Sports Bog]
Gil's Birthday Bash [Slam Online]
Is the News Merely Late? [Free Darko]
Gilbert Arenas Birthday Party Thoughts [Gilbertology]
Gilbert Arenas' 25th Birthday Bash [Washington Post]
From A-List to Zero: Arenas' Celeb-Rich Bash [Washington Post]
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Congrats on going to the party!
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I smell a remix to the remix coming on: Mottram brothers rapping over Anthony Mackie's beatboxing. Wearing nightgown-sized Arenas jerseys. Doing the heizman on dat ho. Youtube classic!
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Word is born (bond?), Gossip! "I walk it out like an usha, if ya say 'real talk' I prolly won't trust ya..."
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I heard you grabbed the mic on the second floor and spit some hot fiya over Andre's "Walk It Out" verse.
1/11/07 12:15 AM