The Language Use and Grammar Curmudgeon

10:06:35 AM EDT

I don't have the article in front of me and can't remember the reporter's name. But he wrote that the co-creator of Seinfeld is Larry Charles. It isn't. It's Larry David. He must have confused the name with Les Charles, another talented writer and producer.

Watch Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm. I don't know if it is still on HBO (I don't get HBO - we'd rented Enthusiasm DVDs from Blockbuster Video), but rent it from somewhere. Better yet, buy it. Curb Your Enthusiasm is hilarious, exceedingly clever, and 100% better than Seinfeld.

Apologies to Jerry, whose stand-up routines I've always enjoyed more than his show, whose co-creator is Larry David. Not Larry Charles.

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8:02:18 AM EDT
Hearing My husband is singing the "Can Can" song.

From a parent:

…[due to her condition] she needs to be waived from Jim and other physical activities…

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7:37:18 AM EDT

So many things wrong with this. First, a coworker’s son is job hunting and I happen to know someone who is retired from the particular field. I contacted this person, asking her if she knew of anyone this young man could talk to. I didn't expect anything and was pleasantly surprised when my friend asked to see the resume so she could help him.

I gave my coworker the email address, and after several weeks, my friend received the following email (I omitted names): 

From: (I don't want to put the email nick name and address, but trust me, it was not the kind of name you'd want to send to someone you hope will help you with your job hunting) 

(He put my friend's first name here)___, Hello my name is _____.  My mother is a friend of Deborah's.  She told me to e-mail you to see if there is anythhing you can do.  I've been in radio about 9 years now.  I've done the on air pragramming thing but now I'm looking for something in sales.  If there is anything you can do I'd really appreciate it.  By the way I would have e-mailed you sooner but I wasn't aware that you were expecting my e-mail.  I will attach my resume.  Thank you again. (First name) (Phone number)

 
He seems uninterested and overly familiar. His email address and email nickname 
are amateurish/childish. He should have used my full name, he didn’t check his spelling, he wasn’t clear 
about what he wanted, and he should have written out the number 9.
 
Here is my rewrite:
 
From (Professional-sounding email address)
 
Dear Mrs. (or Ms.)___
 
Deborah (last name), a friend of my mother's, suggested
I contact you. I have been involved in radio, including on-air 
programing, for nine years. I am now looking for a position in sales,
and Mrs. (my last name) thought you could help me. 
 
As you requested, my resume is attached. Thank you so much for 
taking a look at it, and for any help you can give me.
 
Sincerely,
 
(full name and contact information)

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10:44:50 AM EDT
This has nothing to do with language use, but I just had to share a feeling.

 

How do you like that cross they put in Shanksville, PA, in memory of the plane that crashed there on 9/11?

 

I wrote to someone about it – some NYC fire person. I said, “I love the idea of a memorial, but why a cross?

Was there any research completed –

was everyone who died in that plane crash Christian?”

[I was referring to the innocent passengers.]

 

He wrote back to me and said not to look at it “like that”.

We should look at it as a memorial to those who died on 9/11.

I wrote back, stating that I knew of a little girl who died

in one of the planes, and she was Unitarian, not Christian. He mentioned the

memorial itself and we should think of what happened that day.

He said that it had nothing to do with race, religion, etc. 

 

Can you believe that???? "...Nothing to do with religion..., but there’s this huge cross!

I think that a flag would have been better, more inclusive, more American.

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10:19:04 PM EDT

So, I’m looking at a psychic experiences web site and I see the following title:

 

Do You Think I Could Be Psychic Or Just Imaginary?

 

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10:18:18 PM EDT

Ok, you tell me that this abc.com amc recap WASN’T written by a 13-year-old girl:

 

At the Yacht Club, Erica is wearing this really cute white dress and getting ready for a date. She's nervous. The doorbell ring and Erica thinks it's her date but it's Kendall and Zach. Sam arrives with roses, and it's max awkward. He's Erica's date. Erica decides to ask her daughter and son-in-law on the date which her. (max awkward? on a date which her?)

 

…Erica decides it'd be a great idea for Jack and Carmen to join she, Kendall, Zach and Sam. (a great idea to join she?)

 

…A idan goes to Ryan's vasectomy doctor's office thing and starts digging for why Ryan was not told his vasectomy didn't work. (vasectomy doctor’s office thing?)

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10:17:29 PM EDT

This is from a parent. I’ve deleted both his and his child’s names, as well as the teacher’s name.

 

hello,Mr.____,refer,My son _____

  I received yor phone call,wensday.You wanted to talk with me.About my oldest son ___.    

  Something about the I.E.P. program,? or whatever it intails. I certaintly am interested in every matter.Of any one of my kids programs that they are available for.education.We know these days.they need everthing.All advantadges they can receive are a defen.+,so i attempted to obtaine information from theses sites and/or search eng.?but sadly. i must say.im in the dark.though as u can see & read, my typing isnt the best in the wourld. i suffer.& so do the people who attempted to read my letters.for my career, i used my heart,braines, back.lots of schooling though.i have tielerd many class rm hours for brief on new laws.So with a badge,&firearm-&everything else i could straddle to my belt.law enforcement.i had clerks for my typing.so street smart was me...You however i think went the better way!!!..    

well i look forward to are next conversationabout my son.i hope it good.

Um...well...I hope he's a better police officer than he is a writer. Let's let it go at that.

 

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10:16:00 PM EDT

I have a set of micro speakers made by xeos and it's made for a ipod or <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

mp3. I lost my mp3 and don't want the speakers no more. 

I paid $150 for them so i want at least $75 to $100 for the 

speakers. They is brand new right out the box. Matter a fact they 

is still in the box now Hit me up first come first serve and 

you must come and pick them up yourself.

Ok...is they in the box or is they right out of the box? It's "first come,

first served". Is "xeos" a brand name? Capitalize it! I won't bother 

going on. Just read it and have fun.

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10:08:26 PM EDT
Hearing Now my husband is drumming on a book while we both complain about the Iraq war. Never a dull moment.

Seen on a bulletin board:

WANTED: 

any kind good pool

hot tub / spa

travel trail or pop up

i am trying to try to get thing's going 

for a good thing for my kids i

am on low income so any kind of help 

would be good

******

My commentary:

Gee, sweets, how about a good job, 

or a good education.  She doesn't ask 

for much!!  And I don't think the hot tub/spa 

is for her kids' good...

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10:06:10 PM EDT
Hearing Listening to my husband playing air guitar. He's actually quite good.

It's been a while! But last month, my beloved lizard, Beowulf, died. We'd been together for nine years, which is pretty old for a lizard of his breed - Bearded Dragon. Then, earlier this month, we had to put our cherished cat, Portie, down. She had been very sick and we know that we did the humane thing. I do miss her. What I would give to be able to hold her again!

I think I'll feel better once I post some language horrors. I've already created banners for my pets to place on a memorial bulletin board at the animal hospital. That helped. Creating the banners made me feel good.

Now it's time for exposing bad language - in upcoming entries.

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