Celebration of My Exhistance

Happy Birthday Eli and Ethan

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 21:16:32 GMT

Happy Birthday Eli and Ethan

Six years old, and four years old well – that’s amazing!

Six and four years ago you two happened, and we happened.
Two little golden haired boys
Six and four and such great guys, such great brothers
Full of smiles and laughter
And I have to wonder why
Why are we so blessed?

I love you two so, little Eli and Ethan
You two are so, so cool
And so easy too love – so smart, so into your own world and ready to share it
Maybe I havn't been there enough for that. I sure wish I was

But I was so blessed to spend vacation with you this year,
I wish I had been there for your birthdays.

Wonderful, fantasticAnd Splendid
You two are quite different – and noticeably so
But you guys are brothers and take care of each other I know

Well, now you are six – and four – So on this day I give you this poem

a few days late, I've been through a storm. (Tropical Storm Fay)

I think your great
You two are tops in my book! So I will not hesitate
You’ve both grown so, Eli you don't sit in my lap like you used too,
but I still see how much you love me.
I want you to know that I love you all of the time.
Years ago you played with your Teddy, now your a big boy, reading and starting first grade.

Ethan, little hoss, you have embarked
On a little adventure
To learn... too grow, can’t believe your in pre-K
Its rainy here today, stormy, and I'm getting sleepy for bed, and I wonder is your mommie getting the two of you all tucked in your beds. Knowing you will wake and be ready for your hot chocolate.

I wonder each year will your mommy and daddy miss this age – each have been special ones
Full of giggles and fun for their son’s.
And as I get prepared for a night of good sleep
And sweet dreams – though it seems
Your so far from me! But always in my dreams you will be

I read, and I tickle, and you’ll talk for awhile
And I understand a bit of what you are thinking
just when you smile
And I think – if I can ever find a prayer to adequately thank God
for you two, I’d better be praying it!

I love you Eli and Ethan– I love to watch you grow
To see you becoming boys – great little guys
swimming in the pool, diving with your diving mask, running to and fro
Laughing loudly, Giving mommy and daddy a hug and a kiss
Or getting rough and rowdy with each other
Playing and singing or playing the drums
and just being the wonderful You’s the two of you that God has made!
I may not see you each day but yes,
I am so proud of you two,
for all of your ways

And my prayer is that through all your fun-filled days
God will keep you both and protect you,
And hold you close to His side
And with His strong hand to be ya’lls Guide
That you will learn to know Him and love HimAnd in Him abide!
Your mommie and daddy,and all of us – are trusting our Lord to show us the way
To be good to our Eli and Ethan day after dayWe love you so much, little guys – you two are the best!You guys in our life we are happy and blessed
Happy birthday, little friend, my nephews
Happy Birthday dear Eli dear Ethan

We sure do love you!
We use the word wonderful
so much, but sometimes,
it does not mean what itshould.
Wonderful Eli,Wonderful Ethan
You light up my life,just being part of it.
You are very Wonderful nephews!

I love you guys
Uncle Derek

Flagler Beach Vacation with the whole Family

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 18:51:06 GMT

Connections

Thu, 29 May 2008 15:20:20 GMT

I’ve written about this many times, the subject of worry. I’ve written about how I worryied about so many silly things as a young boy. I made straight A’s in grade school, but still I didn’t understand that at the end of the year when we got our report card, I was worried that even though I made all good grades the place on the report card would say I had to stay in the same grade and repeat it again. I would spend the whole night worrying the day before report cards would come out. Why did I have this sense of failure even though I had made good grades throughout the schoolyear. Christmas Eve, I would worry that I would wake up and Santa hadn’t come to see me. I worried about all the bad things I had done throughout the year and wondered if any of them were bad enough that I would end up giftless. Even to this day when my pastor begins to talk about worry in a sermon. I sense that she is staring at me and making sure I am paying attention. I hate to admit it but oh I do worry. About my family when they are going through a hard time, about my friends when they are hurting and I don’t know how to reach out to them. And about myself, still silly things as I did in grade school. Jesus said not to worry somewhere in the bible. Am I getting any better than I used too be. I want to believe that I am. I am very grateful for the way that God has cared for me in the past. Sometimes it is so hard for me to just depend on God instead of myself. So many times I try to control situations that are not mine to control. Lately I’ve been filling my every waking moment with something. Work, come home edit pictures for my photography, chorus practice, my concert is this weekends. Spending some time with my friends, this weekend camping was wonderful spending it with them and nature, and just soaking up the beauty of the Earth and all of God’s wonderful creations. I feel like I’m still not being still enough! I’m passing through so many days. Am I making a difference? Am I doing what I was put here to do? It’s like we are on a search for joy. With me it seems I go in so many directions, dream vacation/ yes I’m leaving for the Bahamas in 8 days. I’ve been finding food and friends to be part of joyful living. This is all wonderful and great, but still I know in my heart there is something more I’m supposed to be getting out of life. The greatest gift is my relationship with God and His son Jesus. I still feel I’m learning to pray. I’m forty years old, and still learning to pray. I’m still trying to find balance in my life, and it is hard. I spend much time on unproductive things too. I feel a little back in forth in my feelings in this entry. There are parts of my life I’m proud of and there are parts of my life that I would love to change. It’s like I know we are all a part of each other, everything is connected. For good or bad we touch each life we come in contact with. I just hope my good outweigh’s the bad. I worry sometimes about that. How’s that saying go? To be anxious about nothing, pray about everything.

Our Church went to the Zoo

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 23:33:27 GMT

Our church went to the Jacksonville Zoo on Saturday morning, here's the pictures of the animals in the zoo!

Marci's surprise Bday party

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 03:22:32 GMT

I had a big weekend this weekend. Yesterday Dr. Phyl (Phyllis) invited a bunch of us over for Marci’s surprise birthday party. She and Phyllis Sr. her mom put on such a sweet party for her. We all had a wonderful time. Marci was so cute as always, we call her our little sugar dumpling. Got to meet a lot of her friends. Dr. Phyl’s place is beautiful, it’s right on the water and I just love it. Very warm. I framed up a picture that I had done of the two of them together from Easter. I also got one of Dr. Phyl and me, and Dr. Phyl and Turk, and Dr. Phyl and Karl, we sent it from her three sons, and signed it Ginger, Mary Ann, and babysister. Yes I’m babysister, o.k. it’s just the name and it stuck so far, I’ll tell you how I got that name another time. The scenery from the back of her house is so relaxing. This is just one of the views from below. I also just loved Dr Phyl’s mom Phyllis Sr. I see where she got her loving nature from, her mom. I had a photoshoot after the party for opening of the beaches that I will post later on in the week. I had a full weekend.

Wendy Photoshoot

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 03:34:50 GMT

March of Dimes March for Babies

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 00:02:24 GMT

Everyone knows I love babies. My nephew Gavin was born premature. My friend Lee will be walking this year for the March for Babies. The goal of the March of Dimes is to provide healthcare and wellness for our precious little one’s who are born with various illnesses.

His personal web page address is http://www.marchforbabies.org/loquinn. It’s for a great cause, so please support him if you can. Thanks

I had a wonderful day, worked hard, and even had a photo shoot on my lunch break, that I’m about to get started on. Happy Hump Day folks.

Growing like trees

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 02:47:25 GMT

I can't seem to get over how fast they are growing, just like the trees they like climbing. I can't wait to go home again to see them, and the little one, not pictured here, I'm trying to think of some interesting baby pictures to take of the boys little cousin, and Autumn's little brother.

Easter Sunday pictures from Church last week

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 14:27:41 GMT

The comcast man just came and got me all connected finally, woo hoo! So I decided to post my pictures from Easter Sunday at UCC.

Living in the Present but Thankful for the Past

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 18:14:33 GMT

My mom sent me this email I had written to her way back almost when I first started this aol journal four years ago. I’m living in the present, but I am thankful for the past. I just moved into a sweet little place by the river, I’m really enjoying the peace I’m finding there. I thought it was interesting that my mom sent me this email that I had sent her in the past.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

From: Mom
Sent: Saturday, April 05, 2008 2:01 PM
To: Me
Subject: Re: Something I wrote when I lived at the beach

Thought you would enjoy reading this. Everything changes with time. I am so glad you like where you are living.

The reason I have not emailed you lately is that I have been working in the council room and I don't have email over there. I check my email before I go home everyday.

Have a good week-end. Enjoy your new home. I love you the best. Always remember that. You are number 1.

----- Original Message -----

From: Me

Cc: Mom

I wrote this my first month when I was living at the beach in my little beach house a block from the Ocean, I’ve been going back and reading stuff. Funny how reading things I wrote in the past help me today.

Love ya’ll

Derek

THANKFUL FOR THE PAST

I've been thinking about my past today. Trying not to be too hard on myself. It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness. But maybe it's better to look at ourselves and our past in the light of experience and growth.

Our past is a series of lessons that advance us to another level of living and loving. The relationships we entered, stayed in, or ended taught us necessary lessons.

I've come out of some painful circumstances with strong insights about who I am and what I want. Mistakes? Oh yes, many! Necessary! I guess so. Necessary for me to learn from the mistakes. Our frustrations, failures, and sometimes stumbling attempts at growth and progress? Necessary too. Each step of the way, we learned. We went through exactly the experiences we need to, to become who we are today. Each step of the way, we progressed. Is our past a mistake? No. The only mistake we can make is mistaking that for the truth.

Today, I ask for help to let go of negative thoughts I may be harboring about my past circumstances or relationships. I can accept, with gratitude, all that has brought me to today. One of my internet friends sent me this. I really liked it.

Allow Your Own Inner Light to Guide You

There comes a time when you must stand alone.

You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams.

You must be willing to make sacrifices.

You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved.

Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.

There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities.

Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better.

Be confident enough that you won't settle for a compromise just to get by.

Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life.

Don't stand in someone else's shadow when it's your sunlight that should lead the way.