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Week 14: An early Festivus
Week: 12-8. Season: 172-88.
I realize The Holiday for the Rest of Us is still a couple weeks away, but it's never too early for a good Airing of Grievances:
* If Florida is really the number 2 team in country, why couldn't the poll voters have made up their minds two weeks ago? And to the powers that be that want to deprive Jim Tressel of his vote because he abstained: he could've gone Nixon White House staff and not ranked Michigan at all if he really wanted to play Florida, or vice versa.
* I want to chairshot the Panthers for their proclivity for blowing fourth-quarter leads, and Jake Delhomme in particular for not throwing the ball out of bounds Monday night if his man wasn't open. It's just bad football - it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that his last-minute pick cost me the Shallow End of the Gene Pool lead.
* Yeah, Patriots D, you did a great job on Chicago. Doesn't excuse you from allowing Jon Kitna to look like John Elway for three-plus quarters.
* Tom O'Brien, put down your crack pipe for a minute. Unless N.C. State is doubling your salary, why would you want to leave a school where you can go 9-3 or 8-4 forever with no threat to your job security and your team stumbling one win short of a BCS bid two of the last three years doesn't arouse a peep from the usually carnivorous Boston media?
* Bret Favre looks like Muhammad Ali vs. Larry Holmes more often than not.
* Do they have litter laws in Hawaii? Look at the field when UH is on TV - Aloha Stadium isn't the only place where the breeze blows during football games.
* Wake Freaking Forest goes to the Orange Bowl, and Charlie Weis gets nominated for Coach of the Year, NOT Jim Grobe?
* Pete Carroll, the fish rots from the head. How could you NOT have your boys up for a game against the crosstown rival? If I were a UCLA upperclassman, I probably would've had "66-19" taped to my dorm room door all year.
* Yeah, we can laugh at Jesse Palmer, The Bachelor stud who gave his choice a one-way coach ticket instead of an engagement ring, getting to call the Steelers-Buccaneers game on Fox last week. Could've been worse. I know we can't have the networks' first-teamers in Patriot Nation every week, but Matt Vasgersian? He obviously hasn't improved from his days calling XFL games on NBC - Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler would've been an upgrade.
* Finally, my alma mater (Bishop Hendricken) beat my dad's (La Salle) in the R.I. Division 1 playoffs. Unfortunately, there was this little detail involving a championship game against East Providence...
On to the picks:
STEELERS 27, BROWNS 13: Four days is a little too soon for another miracle, Cleveland.
PATRIOTS 23, DOLPHINS 14: If Nick Saban had left Miami to take the Alabama job, would he be as dead to Bill Belicheck as Eric Mangini is right now?
PANTHERS 17, GIANTS 13: When two sinking ships collide, one has to plummet to the bottom a little slower.
REDSKINS 17, EAGLES 16: As good as Jeff Garcia looked against Carolina, the Monday Night Followed by Road Game Rule stands up.
VIKINGS 21, LIONS 14: The Lions let a big upset chance slide away and are still sore.
FALCONS 24, BUCCANEERS 13: Atlanta's ground game may be the necessary leg up on an NFC wild card.
JAGUARS 17, COLTS 12: Home under the bright lights, Jacksonville can beat anyone.
BENGALS 37, RAIDERS 15: What's this? Cincinnati actually whipped out some defense last week?
CHIEFS 20, RAVENS 16: I'll take desperation for $600, Alex.
TITANS 23, TEXANS 10: Patriot Nation does not look forward to the upcoming clash with Tennessee.
SEAHAWKS 30, CARDINALS 17: Hey, Denny Green...that Stanford job you were pretty good at is open again.
49ers 21, PACKERS 10: An offense as cold as the frozen tundra it roams.
JETS 27, BILLS 16: The wild card march continues.
CHARGERS 31, BRONCOS 13: Philip Rivers envy continues in New York.
COWBOYS 29, SAINTS 20: America's Team: the living embodiment of the Ramones classic "We're a Happy Family."
BEARS 17, RAMS 10: Defensive scoring power.
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