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Saturday, December 16, 2006
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Thursday, December 28, 2006
December 2006
Week 17: Year-ending thoughts
Week 16: What did we do to deserve this?
Week 15: Bitch-slapping dance
Week 14: An early Festivus
Week 13 pcks: Holes
« December 2006 Archive
Saturday, December 23, 2006

Week 16: What did we do to deserve this?

Happy | Rilo Kiley, "Xmas Cake" on AOL Indie Holiday



   Week: 10-7. Season: 190-103.

   Sorry, all you kids in Foxboro and Nashville: Santa's already been to your little burghs. I really wonder whether there's playoff victory (or berth) left in the sleigh for either of your teams after last week.

   Did anybody in Patriot Nation have a chance to lay out the milk and cookies before the Texans arrived last Sunday? Santa must've been trying on those blue jerseys, since Houston was so generous. Has a team ever won 40-7 while doing so little to deserve it?

   Sure, the New England defense played like, well, a New England defense should, but Houston's ineptitude had plenty to do with it. Is David Carr progressing or regressing? To be fair, though, he could've gotten more protection from five empty Nintendo Wi  boxes.

   The Patriot offense had the kind of field position offensive coordinators dream about...and did little with it. All the running game did was make the Nation miss a banged-up Laurence Maroney that much more. Tom Brady didn't have that much to throw to before Ben Watson got hurt and Doug Gabriel played, fumbled, bitched, whatevered his way out on the street. Look at the numbers: 230 yards total. Brady completed 16 passes for a grand total of 109 yards (43 and a touchdown on a little doink to Kevin Faulk, before he got hurt).

   This team cannot throw downfield. Call Shannon Sharpe a blowhard if you want, but his assertion that Patriot front office arrogance in letting both Deion Branch and David Givens go created the offensive problems is spot on. If Rodney Harrison successfully returns from his broken collarbone, stands on his head and belts out show tunes, maybe the defense can eke out a playoff win. But I'm not optimistic right now, since nobody could get open downfield against the might Houston secondary.

   And I'm still giggling about the Titans' offensive explosion again the Jaguars. Hopefully, the Pats took notes on how to stuff Vince Young - 98 yards of total offense, with VY scramling for just 4 and keeping the ball long enough to run off less than 16 minutes of clock. Tennessee did a lot to win this game - at least the three fellows who ran back turnovers deep in their own territory for touchdowns. Jacksonville dominated, served, pimp-slapped Tennessee everywhere but the scoreboard.

   Beware, New England and Tennessee: karma lurks.

   On to the picks (some hermetically sealed):

   PACKERS 17, VIKINGS 13: Would've been nice to see Bret Favre's possible final home game, but given the reviews of NFL Network live telecasts, maybe not.

   CHIEFS 20, RAIDERS 14: The first words when the pro football world gathers in New York come April: "The Oakland Raiders are on the clock."

   JAGUARS 14, PATRIOTS 10: Not against a real defense, the Pats won't.

   SAINTS 24, GIANTS 17: Should've jumped at the Boston College job while it was still available, Tom Coughlin. Maybe you can still get the Alabama job.

   RAMS 16, REDSKINS 13: I guess anybody's still eligible for an NFC wildcard bid.

   BEARS 27, LIONS 16: Even if the impregnability of the Bears defense took a big hit from Tampa Bay in the second half.

   BROWNS 13, BUCCANEERS 10: But does it buy Romeo Crennel one more year?

   FALCONS 20, PANTHERS 7: Nobody calls John Fox an endangered coach, but his team sure quit on him last week.

   TITANS 20, BILLS 17: Battle of the Surprise Wildcard Contenders.

   COLTS 35, TEXANS 16: They're baaaaaaack! The offense, anyway.

   STEELERS 17, RAVENS 13: Don't count on the Men of Steel phoning it in, Ravens.

   49ers 20, CARDINALS 15: San Francisco will enter the final weekend with a chance to win the NFC West, believe it or not.

   BRONCOS 27, BENGALS 24:Now that he has his first win, Jay Cutler finds the game in front of him slowing just a bit.

   CHARGERS 31, SEAHAWKS 21: Marty Schottenheimer's still not slowing this team down. But it's not playoff time, either.

   COWBOYS 28, EAGLES 25: We want interaction between TO and Jeff Garcia! Should be a pretty competitive game, too.

   JETS 20, DOLPHINS 17: It could turn if Miami rolls out the orange jerseys.

   Let's go bowling:

   LAS VEGAS BOWL: BYU 24, OREGON 17. Is the Ducks' three-game losing streak karmic payback for the gift from the replay official in the Oklahoma game?

   NEW ORELANS BOWL: RICE 34, TROY 16. I was not even a boy who could swim the last time Rice went to a bowl. Now, if they were playing those other Men of Troy...

   PAPA JOHN'S.COM BOWL: SOUTH FLORIDA 24, EAST CAROLINA 14. I miss Little Caesar's, all of whose franchises in my neck of the woods were nsapped up by Papa John. Bulls! Bulls!

   NEW MEXICO BOWL: NEW MEXICO 37, SAN JOSE STATE 34. I just suspect this is one of those WGAF matchups that will produce a better game than most of the more hyped bowls (or the poor man;s version of the '06 Rose Bowl, easily my Game of the Year choice).

   ARMED FORCES BOWL: TULSA 28, UTAH 21. Little-known fun fact: the four smallest schools in Division 1-A (Tulsa, Rice, Navy and Wake Forest) are bowling this season.

   HAWAII BOWL: HAWAII 48, ARIZONA STATE 44. The defense doesn't fit in the cargo hold when you fly out to Honolulu.

   MOTOR CITY BOWL: CENTRAL MICHIGAN 30, MIDDLE TENNESSEE STATE 20. I only venture a pick here because I've actually seen the Chippewas play on TV - they gave Boston College a pretty good go while on my summer vacation (how long? it was the same evening as my number 2 Game of the Year choice, Agassi-Baghdatis in the U.S. Open second round). 

   EMERALD BOWL: UCLA 31, FLORIDA STATE 10. This is a classic one team shows up, the other doesn't matchup. Given their season-ending shocker of USC, my guess is the Bruins show up. 

   Merry Christmas (or holiday greeting appropriate to your own faith system). Now cut a hole in that box and pack your junk in it.  

  

  

  

  

  

  

    

  

     

     

  



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