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So with the gauze lesson learned (and new "Non-Stick Dressings" protecting "Smitty")  the experiment turned to the next stage, stress tests. Tuesday night was hockey night in Maryland so I threw on the shin guards, laced 'em up and wondered if the tape would hold the dressing on after it was drenched in sweat. The game was chippy and featured a couple fights, but no damage to "The Flaming-Red Gecko." 

 The "Non-Stick Dressing" lives up to the claim made by its name.

 I'm pretty sure I see the face of Jesus in the dressing. Look for it coming to an eBay near you. Search for "The Shroud of Smitty."

The following night was softball, a quadruple header no less. And, of course, in game three I slid into second. Not head first, a straight pop-up slide. But "Wolf Blitzer" is a fighter. It opened up a little bit in the middle but only a few drops trickled out. This thing is basically invincible now. By Friday it was a whole new world in more ways than one. The scabbing was coming along so nicely that no dressing was needed to protect the pants and "The Red Monster" actually started to look like a topographical map.

 "George" looks disturbingly similar to my World Cup pick Argentina, you know, if the pampas were composed of semi-dried blood.

So "The Red Badge of Stupid" has survived it's first week of life. The next week should bring total scabbing and the first look at any potential scarring so stay tuned.

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• #2 Comment from passp18 
  10/5/07 4:03 PM | Permalink

  I feel ya man. I just reopened mine last night. It was a perfect scar from spring season. my own red(pink) badge of stupid. So I went in to work today forgetting the process. I wore khakis! It's not 3:00pm. I have to get in the elevator now with all the corporate head honchos and sport my freshly soaked pant leg. My wound has enough juice sitting afloat to make gravy for thanksgiving. Last time this happened, my wife, claiming peroxide doesn't sting, poured it over the entire area. Mind you, this is a 7 inch long, 2 1/2 inch wide red and yellow mess. Peroxide might not sting a tiny razor scrape, but this guy...not this time. I'd rather lose my leg than let her get anywhere near it again.
• #1 Comment from journalseditor 
  8/11/06 4:09 PM | Permalink

  Dude, I wish I'd seen this entry 3 weeks ago -- try one of those clear plastic waterproof bandages the next time you get a raspberry/road rash:
  http://www.veshman.com/mt/archives/000025.php
  
  You'll never go back to dry gauze and neosporin.
  
  -- Joe
  http://journals.aol.com/journalseditor/magicsmoke/