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Hearing AOL Radio Old Skool
The Invisible Mom
I don't own sweatpants. I've got a pair of gortex, super-fiber leggings for running laps around Brooklyn's Prospect Park, but unless you happen to see me whizzing by, you're not likely to ever witness me walking the streets in them.
I understand that sweats are comfortable. I also get the fact that kids are messy and tend to soil whatever they touch. Still, a well-fitted pair of jeans and top is pretty comfy, too. So is a stretchy wrap dress worn with a nice pair of low-heeled boots. And they're machine washable to boot. It’s one thing to rock a Juicy Couture track suit. Grey baggies from Sears are quite another.
Dressing in ill-fitting, "Who cares?" clothes is like saying "My kids are adorable, but don't look at me--I'm invisible."
For most of my life as a mom, I've been home with the kids. It's been such an important part of my sense of self-worth as an individual and as a woman to nurture my personal style. Even during the years (yes, years) when I carried post-birth baby weight, I still tried to look cute even though I didn’t have much money to buy clothes.
Two weeks after my daughter was born, I had my hair dyed bleach-blond for the first (and last) time. Then, I went through a succession of crazy color streaks, culminating in a nicer-than-it-sounds emerald-on-black combo. That was about six years ago. I stopped for two reasons. For one, every teenager in the neighborhood started doing it. Mostly though, my style—such as it was—was veering too dangerously close into “cool mom” territory. The last thing I want is for my kids to think of me as cool and the absolutely last thing I want anyone to think of me as is “that old bag trying to look like a cool mom.” It’s a fine line between looking “dope” and looking dopey. More on this in another post.
Today, Blogging Baby ran a post about “Mommy Edge,” in which Charlene Prince Birkeland detailed her need to do something edgy, like getting pink hair streaks while pregnant with baby number two. I don’t know how old Birkeland is, but I suspect she’s younger than I. Certainly many of the reader comments were from young moms in their 20s.
It’s my happy observation that today’s new moms seems less willing than their older peers to lose all fashion sensibility post-childbirth, like the women featured in Saturday Night Live’s hilarious “Mom Jeans” skit.
Does personal style -- donning the clothes or stylings you think look good on you -- matter more or less when you become a parent? What do you think?
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I'm 39 with five kids! (youngest is 2)And I can say I look pretty darn good. Fashion and looking great has become more and more important the older I get. Maybe its my way of trying to run from my age which isn't THAT old but I think you feel better as a whole when you don't run around looking like a haggard mom. Do I dress up everyday, no there are certainly "sweat" days but even now they have some pretty cute sweat outfits. Who says having kids should be an excuse to let your self be sloppy. I train for triathlons and stay in shape. It makes me much happier and I can actually play with my kids not just send them to the park and sit. So I whole heartedly agree-- your sense of self worth is very important and it will relflect to your children as well. Keep looking the best you can!!!!
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I've always had out there colors on my hair for high school spirit week my field hockey team could count on one side of my head being yellow and the other purple
I refuse to change something that makes me feel a little brighter. That and having a stepmom with violet hair adds to my stepdaughters cool factor at School.
My husband HATES(!!!!!!!!!!!!!! )how it looks, he points out it is the only thing he'd change about me. So it's puts me in a difficult position. I tell him when I'm 30 I promise I'll dye it a color that appears in nature. (:d what he doesn't know is I mean leopard spots on a neon blond background)
The little things that make us a person instead of just Jane's mom are the things that make us smile -
actually i wanted to get the pink streaks *after* i had the baby. but the point you make - about looking dopey v. dope - is spot on. personal style has always been important to me, and as i wrote in my blogging baby post, i was searching for edge pre-kids too. for now it'll have to be my trademark pink sf giants baseball cap.
and i'm 34.javascript:nextPage();
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4/11/06 1:08 AM