The Show Must Go On...

In the news, AOL has an article about Corey Clark being arrested for battery which consisted of a food fight with his record producer in a restaurant.  Well, there's the epitome of professionalism.  Clark, of course, is the ex-'American Idol' contestant who claimed to have the hot and heavy affair with one of the show's judges, Paula Abdul.

I'm sitting here with the tail end of 'The Today Show' on in the background desperately hoping that 'Ellen' won't be displaced by Wimbledon tennis as it was yesterday.  I really love that show.  Since I work most weekdays (when I'm not home with a funky knee), I rarely catch the show.  I know I could tape the shows, but I also know how many tapes I have laying about the apartment that I never seem to catch up with.  Time will tell.  I have nothing against tennis... even though in my present state it makes my knee scream just to watch them pivot on the court.  I have a compromise.  Show 'Ellen' in its entirety in its regular slot and pre-empt a soap opera instead!  Yeah, that'll do it!

ARGH!  ZAM, POW, TO THE MOON!  Wimbledon, no 'Ellen'!  Waaah!

:::channel surfing with remote:::  Hmmm... 'Texas Justice.'  Nah.  ESPN has baseball commentary.  Nah.  'Tony Danza.' -- now, I've never watched this before.  Huh.  I'm surprised.  Tony just said 'non-sequitor' and used it correctly in a sentence.   I didn't know he knew big words.  Um... nah.  Ohhh... CN8 has a thing about 'Men and Plastic Surgery'!  Uhhh... nah.  UPN9?  No, I don't think I want to see whatever this is.  Next!  QVC- Now You're Cooking!  Um... nope.  'Maury' on channel 11?  Nuh-uh.  Not into kidnap, torture and who's my baby's daddy today.  Next!  Ah!  'Casos de Familia'!  Dang... it's a bit like a Latino Jerry Springer Show with a woman host.  Carumba!  Hmmm.... next!  Now, I usually like PBS.  Um... some kid's show... um, they're talking jumbalaya.  Now I'm hungry, but not entertained.  NEXT.  Yikes.  I just flipped through a good ten more stations... all commercials.  No, I don't want to watch 'Morning Call' on CNBC.  Waah...

Oh, 'Sesame Street' on the NJ PBS station!  Um.  No!  Gee, how many ESPN stations do I need?  Okay, now I've landed on A&E.  Hmmm... I have no clue what it is and I don't want to start watching an overacted funeral.  Next.  ACK.  CNN has the banner for the President's speech tonight.  Argh.  I don't want to miss 'Fire Me... Please' which is slated for tonight.  Now they're talking about that second shark attack on a teen.  Scary stuff.  Next.  BET?  Bet not!  I'm just not too into sexy frolicking at the moment.  VH1... rats, I just caught the end of Gwen Stefani's "Holla Back Girl."  I'm not a Gwen Stefani fan at all, but I love to watch that song performed with the marching band.  So much for VH1 and my bad timing!  Don't know what station this is, but I don't like reruns of 'The Nanny.'  I didn't like the show the first time 'round.  Next!

I'm skipping a lot of stations as I have no patience with commercials.  Ohh... another station in Spanish.  A drama about nuns.  Huh.  Next!  Discovery Channel has a special on the history of shoes?  Um... not sure I want to elevate myself to that.  Give me sneakers!  Next!  Cartoon Network has a cartoon on.  Imagine that.  I like cartoons, but prefer classic ones.  NEXT.  'Bring it On' and the 700 Club?  Um, no, bring it off.  Ohhh, AMC has a movie with a younger Robert Redford on.  Cool.  Oh, wait.  It's almost over, I think.  I believe it's 'Legal Eagles.'  Oh, well... next!  TNT has an old repeat of an 'E.R.' episode.  I don't want to think doctors and surgery.  NEXT. 

:::tapping good foot::: Okay, CMTV has some foot-stompn' country music a'goin' on.  The video production of whomever is a bit lacking, but the music is actually okay.  Eh, though.  NEXT.  The Weather Channel and a tropical update.  Um... no.  Next.  Ah, MegaMillions is up to 50 million.  Not that I'll get out to buy a ticket, but I'll dream on it anyway.  Oh, I don't think I WANT to watch 'The True Story of Alexander the Great' on the History Channel.  Next.  Aha, an advertisement for the Montreal Jazz Festival in French.  Phew... at least I understand that language.  The Spanish stations talk too fast -- if they slow down, I can get the gist of the conversation, but...!  Hmmm... this is the BETJAZZ station. I like jazz.  Um, but no... next!

Comedy Station?  Nah, don't want to watch unfunny stand up while I sit today.  Next.  Hey, this should be good -- ETV!  Hey!  I have my OWN NETWORK!  Okay, I don't.  Hollywood gossip.  Ummmm... no.  Next.  SPEED... um, no.  HGTV?  Nah.  NIK?  Nuh-uh.  GOLF -- no way!  Not fore me!  YES?  NO!  (Yankees station)

Ack... maybe it's time to turn off the TV and turn on the stereo instead...

|  Add to del.icio.us |  digg this