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11:50:00 AM CDT
BILL, THE BAR AND MARDI GRAS
Back to my friend Bill. Mardi Gras before last Bill celebrated in grand New Orleans fashion as is expected of most New Orleanians. He spent 3 days drinking. Quite toasted but, still being Fat Tuesday, the gang decided to leave one bar and head off to another owned by the same man for a "private" party. They arrive, open the place and continue to celebrate. At some point Bill became lost and wound up in the women's room where he passed out. When they all decided to go home and sleep it off everyone assumed Bill had slipped out earlier so they locked up in the wee hours of Ash Wednesday morning and headed out.
Bill awoke later and found himself locked in. He says, "It was always a dream of mine to be locked in a bar." He had change for one phone call and instead of calling the police or the bar owner he called his friend Dave. "Dave! You aren't gonna believe this! I am locked in Chuck's bar!" Then he hung up. He then realizes what he has done. He can't find a phone other than the pay phone. Now, he is not sober yet so lets give him a bit of leeway here. After a few hours he's getting upset. No one has come in to open the place. He remembers, Its Ash Wednesday. They won't open until Thursday! He looks out the windows and sees a woman he knew from the first bar and begins banging on the glass and she smiles and waves to him and goes on her way. She had been celebrating herself.
Dave calls us and tells us about Bill and we all have a good chuckle but we didn't know he was still trapped. We all assumed he'd called Chuck and got out.
Bill is now hung over and hungry. But like Old Mother Hubbard's cupboard the place is devoid of any real food so he settles for cocktail olives and orange juice. YUM! Right. Bill is now thinking what a foolish dream he had. This is not fun.
Ash Wednesday comes and goes and Thursday dawns bright and new hope surges in Bill's heart. Hours pass. Hope fades. Then a sound, a familiar sound, a hopeful sound! A phone ringing! Bill follows the ringing to find the bar phone and picks up the handset. "Help, " he cries into thephone, "I am locked in here and have been since Mardi Gras day!" The caller summons help and a furious Chuck comes down to let Bill out of his prison all the while claiming he will fire everyone. Including those that don't even work for him.
Bill was much more careful this last Mardi Gras. Uhm, come to think of it, I am not sure I have seen him since then. I better go start calling the bars.
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That is so friggin funny!! Poor ole drunk baby. I am still laughing!!!
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How funny!! I would be terrified, especially if I couldn't get out! -Jan
7/29/04 9:09 AM