panjandrum
I have wanted to learn how to beat on the panjandrum for many years.
Did I say "beat on?" I meant "beat up." I'm not fond of pretentious individuals who are on power trips.
fkaren1964 at 5:07:46 PM EDT
Permalink
|
Blog about this entry
|
Add to del.icio.us |
digg this
This entry has comments:
Add your own
Jovial et alia
I've been quite jovial lately in anticipation of getting married. The other aspects of getting married, like wedding planning, however, can sure knock the joviality out of a person and cause them to look haggard from the stress.
I have been a wiseacre about picking wedding favors for the guests and still want to give out tropical fish with putty eyes. Or better yet would be gummy worms because everybody loves that vermicular candy.
I've seriously considered a "dry" reception but apparently, that will ramify the guests into those happy with the lack of drunks and those with flasks inside their jacket pockets and inside their dainty purses. Here's a little factoid for you. People tend to over drink when there is an open bar. They become edacious drinkers. Here's a little abecedarian device to help you remember that: A is for aperitif, B is for bouncer, C is for 'call me a cab' and D is for drunk and disorderly. Uh-uh, not at my reception. I decry such behavior and excessive consumption but the dry reception idea died aborning. My sister "suggested" at least a cash bar otherwise she's not coming. Hmph!
While on the topic of the reception, I learned there is a cultural difference between what happens after the guests ring their glasses with silverware in Canada and in the United States. Here, the guests expect the newlyweds to kiss. In Canada, the guests expect the best man to bloviate and make speech after speech so he has to prepare at least 5-10 good ones.
I haven't picked out a wedding gown yet because I was under the misguided notion that I could transform myself into a sylph in 8-10 months. That ain't happening and I'm just coming to that realization. It didn't take an oracular revelation to see that although it sure feels that way. I may have to undergird my gown with steel reinforcements if I plan on squeezing into anything sylphlike. But I realize, I will not become a sylph. I will not become a sylph. I will not become a sylph. (I will believe this the more times I say it) I will just pick a timeless style like the princess style or an empire waist dress and get over the whole body image issues.
At the zeroth hour, when I walk down the aisle, I'll be who I am. I can't be anybody else. And hopefully, nobody will yawp when the priest asks if anybody has a reason why we shouldn't be married and nobody will have an industrial strength magnet with them.
fkaren1964 at 1:03:20 AM EDT
Permalink
|
Blog about this entry
|
Add to del.icio.us |
digg this
This entry has comments:
Add your own
Sixteen going on seventeen
An "aha" moment just took place, right here, in front of my computer. Today's word is "ken." I immediately thought of the song from the Sound of Music which Liesel and Rolf sing. I never understood why she didn't understand things beyond her kin. I guess her knowledge stopped at her relatives, her second cousin, twice removed. What a sheltered life she lead!
However, this is NOT the case. The real lyrics are as follows:
Totally unprepared are you
To face a world of men
Timid and shy and scared are you
Of things beyond your ken
Now that makes sense and is within my ken.
fkaren1964 at 8:25:42 AM EDT
Permalink
|
Blog about this entry
|
Add to del.icio.us |
digg this
This entry has comments:
Add your own
Why the extra "O" in sophomoric?
The old sophomoric slump...often mentioned in the musical reviews of new artists who release their second CD and it just doesn't measure up to the first album.
Why does the word have an extra "O" that doesn't get pronounced? If you do pronounce it, you sound sophomoric in your knowledge of the English language.
fkaren1964 at 2:07:11 PM EST
Permalink
|
Blog about this entry
|
Add to del.icio.us |
digg this
This entry has comments:
Add your own
flights to the 48 contiguous states
Due to the increase in size of the average airplane passenger, contiguous seating was the norm and pressing the flesh was the in flight entertainment.
fkaren1964 at 3:06:37 PM EST
Permalink
|
Blog about this entry
|
Add to del.icio.us |
digg this
This entry has comments:
Add your own
not getting paid enough
Emily worked down at the emollient factory but the emolument from such work barely covered her mortgage plus food for her emu. She resorted to immolation to obtain the fire insurance money for her house.
The rest of the neighborhood emulated her and the area was razed to the ground in the mother of all conflagrations.
Emily washed her hands of the matter, smoothed on some lotion containing the emollients produced at her factory, and immigrated to Canada using her insurance money.
Imagine that.
fkaren1964 at 11:15:51 PM EST
Permalink
|
Blog about this entry
|
Add to del.icio.us |
digg this
This entry has comments:
Add your own
If by Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
--Rudyard Kipling
fkaren1964 at 11:49:26 AM EST
Permalink
|
Blog about this entry
|
Add to del.icio.us |
digg this
This entry has comments:
Add your own