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Life passes but the love does not
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Saturday, April 26, 2008
9:05:00 PM EDT

Life passes but the love does not


 
Francesco - June 27,1921 ~ April 26, 2008
 
 
 
I posted this entry last year for my Dad's Birthday:
 
Candles & Cognition

Today, my Father's 86th birthday, I wish for him (& everyone suffering from dementia) a day in which he is not confused, lost or frightened.

I wish no one needed to know the man he was, but that the man he is, right now, would be deemed worthy enough of respect, comfort & conversation.

I wish him choices & awareness.

I wish moments of clarity would latch on to the foreground instead of receding into the background.

I wish the freedoms would multiply, rather than come along so infrequently, & escape so quickly.

I wish the emotional & behavioral components fueling dementia would be viewed just AS components, & not as my whole Dad. There is a lot more there, if you take the time to look ;-).

I wish that praise & love weren't so contingent on success & conformity.

I wish compassion for the man of now was easy, & judgment, annoyance & criticism hard.

Some days he slips seamlessly back into the Francesco of years gone by.  On days like that, the wounds from the decline in cognitive function don't seem raw, & the confidence of a little girl's Dad is recaptured. He tells me it happens more often when I'm there ;-).

While I love those days, I don't wait around for them to show him love. He needs that everyday, as we all do.

 
Dad died peacefully & later I held him long enough to know it happened at the right time, in the best way.


 


Written by frankandmary Blog about this entry
This entry has 134 comments: (Add your own)
  • #134 Comment from onmiownnow2 
    6/14/08 5:51 AM | Permalink
    (((Mary)))  My prayers are with you.  Lisa
  • #133 Comment from perturbedcow 
    5/24/08 9:32 PM | Permalink
    You have my sympathies regarding your loss. My parents are both in their 80's. My mom is in the final stages of an illness with symptoms consistent with Alzheimers. I think of this life as potential preparation for the next.
  • #132 Comment from nay0114 
    5/11/08 10:17 AM | Permalink
    (((MARY)))

    I had a moment and decided to check on you. I'm so sorry about your father passing. I am so far behind in everyones journals, don't even write in mine anymore. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.
    Hugs, Chrissie
  • #131 Comment from robinngabster 
    5/7/08 10:47 PM | Permalink
    Oh Mary...I am just getting caught up with alerts.  I am so so so sorry.  My thoughts are with you.

    Robin
  • #130 Comment from stormypassionzz 
    5/7/08 9:09 AM | Permalink
    I am sorry for your loss.  May the tears you cry touch your lips and make them flower into a smile with all the memories you two made together.  What a beautiful bond you had with him.  You've been truly blessed as I'm sure you know.  Thanks for sharing him with us.

    Cindy
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