Show Me The Way, Lord...

6:18:59 PM EDT

DAY  THREE...

Father, I don't want my life to be driven by anything but love for you.  Help me to center my life on your plan and purpose for me, and not worry about the expectations of others.

Point To Ponder:  Living on purpose is the path to peace.

Since my son's death, I have difficulty living my life with zest - much less living on purpose.  I have very little peace.   

You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you.  ISAIAH 26:3 TEV

Verse To Remember:  You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you.  Isaiah 26:3 TEV

Question To Consider:  What would my family and my friends say is the driving force of my life?  What do I want it to be?

I believe my driving force is my grief and all who know me would probably agree.  I force myself to get up each morning and let the day take me where it will.  One day turns into another without much ado.  I lost my way after my son died but I'm slowly finding my way back to a different life than I had before.  My grief encompasses anguish,  guilt, resent-ment, anger, fear, expectations, and a heartache that surpasses all...

I want to go back to when God was my driving force and not me and my humaness.  I want to be more than just an aimless wanderer.  I want to do away with unused potential,   
unnecessary stress, and an unfulfilled life.  I want my life to have meaning again.   I don't want my life to be trivial, petty, or pointless - lived in quiet desperation.






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3:36:48 AM EDT

DAY TWO...

God, your plan is amazing.  Thank you that I was custom-made for a reason.  Help me to trust your wisdom in choosing my parents, race, background, gifts, and appearance.

Point To Ponder:  I am not an accident

I was conceived in the mind of God long before I was conceived by my parents.  Even if I was an accident on the part of my parents, I was no accident to God.  God planned me.  I am alive because God wanted to create me... it is not fate, nor chance, nor luck, nor coincidence that I am breathing this very moment. 

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me. He saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe.  Every day of my life is  recorded in His book.

God left no detail of me to chance...God decided how I would be born.  My parents had the right genetic makeup or the right DNA needed to create the custom me.  God created me to love...I am his special creation.

Verse To Remember:  "I am your Creator.  You were in my care even before you were born," says the Lord.

Question To Consider:  Knowing that God created me for a purpose, what areas of my personality, background, and appearance am I struggling to accept?

Personality:  All negative aspects of my personality which include:   my serious nature; my critical side; the doubter; my bitchiness; my argumentative ways; the unforgiving me; impatience;  the resentful side of me...these are by no means all of them but they're at the head of the class.

Background:  The circumstances surrounding my birth; my parents; some family members; some childhood frames; choices in education; choices in my career; errors and choices I made in my marriage; parenting errors; choices in my work life;  choices in my personal life; choices that affected my spiritual life...

Appearance:  my weight; my body shape.

I was unplanned by my parents but not by God.  God planned me for His purpose.  He knows all there is to know about me - my every thought, deed,and action.

Lord, I thank you for including me in your plan.  I thank you for the path you chose for me.  I thank you for my biological parents and my grandmother who raised me.  I thank you for all my childhood sufferings and forgive all those who did me harm.  I thank you for the husband I received and the children you gave me.  I forgive my husband for the harm suffered - by his doing.  I ask to be forgiven for all errors I committed with my children and with my husband.  I ask to be forgiven for all choices I made, that were not of your will, that affected my personal and spiritual life.

I thank you, Lord, for my life, for all that I am and for all that I have and where I'm at right now...thank you!  thank you!  thank you!  I am so sorry for being so self-centered and disobedient to Your will for me.  Please help me overcome myself and let Your will and not my ego be done.  I ask that You continue to guide me and help me hear Your voice as before.  I cannot do this alone but with You, I can do all things.  Please, forgive me Lord, for having offended You - I cannot bear the temporary separation my words, thoughts, and deeds have caused between You and me. 

Oh, my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee.  I detest all my sins because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell.  But most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love.  I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace to confess my sins, do penance, and to ammend my life.  Amen.

I ask for Your blessing, Your guidance, and Your protection.  Show me the way, Lord...           

 

 

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3:13:32 AM EDT

A while back, Christine of My Journey With Multiple Sclerosis suggested a book, The Purpose Driven Life for recommended reading.

Well, I got the book and the journal that comes with it for my birthday...five months ago.  My friend and I were suppose to read it and do our journals on a buddy system, but so far we haven't gotten past Chapter 1.

I decided to go online with it so others who have read the book and have done the exercises can maybe guide me on.  I am searching for my purpose in life but I also seek answers and truths about life.  I hope I'm ready for this.  Ready or not, here I am.

Father,

As I begin this journey, help me to realize that building my life around myself instead of you will only lead to emptiness and meaninglessness.  I was made by you and for you, and I want to discover my purpose in you.

DAY ONE...

Point To Ponder:  It's not about me.

The purpose of my life is far greater than my own personal fullfillment, your peace of mind, or even my happiness.  It's far greater than my family, my career, my wildest dreams and ambitions.

Verse To Remember:  For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible,... everything got started in Him and finds its purpose in Him.  Colossians 1:16 MSG

Question To Consider:  How can I remind myself today that life is really about living for God, not myself?

By keeping God at the center of my life from the time I wake up - to the time I go to sleep.  This means to seek God out in all things and in all ways;  to let go and let God.  To take time for God.  Listen to what God has to say.  To see God in all things, in every situation, and especially in people.  Be grateful for my blessings as well as my tragedies...  all life's lessons are for my purpose in life.   

 

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